Engaged but want to move away for uni!
Hi so basically I really need some advice.
I have found the perfect course and university for me and am intending on applying so I can attend in 2015.
My problem is that I am currently engaged and half been with my partner for 3 and a half years and the university I want to attend is a 5 hour drive away! I'm nearly 23 and have only recently realised what I want to achieve from my life and am scared of wasting any more time.
This may seem irrelevant but I have recently found out I can't have children, it's what pushed me to think what I want out of my life as being a mother now seems impossible and was my previous life goal. So I guess I'm going through a lot of changes and soul searching at the moment.
Should I go? Should I stay? I really need some advice as I'm so confused right now.
If anyone has been through a similar situation how did it play out? What would you have done differently?
Also he will be starting a university in September just 40 minutes from where we live so I can't really ask him to come with me and give up what he is doing..
HELP?!
I have found the perfect course and university for me and am intending on applying so I can attend in 2015.
My problem is that I am currently engaged and half been with my partner for 3 and a half years and the university I want to attend is a 5 hour drive away! I'm nearly 23 and have only recently realised what I want to achieve from my life and am scared of wasting any more time.
This may seem irrelevant but I have recently found out I can't have children, it's what pushed me to think what I want out of my life as being a mother now seems impossible and was my previous life goal. So I guess I'm going through a lot of changes and soul searching at the moment.
Should I go? Should I stay? I really need some advice as I'm so confused right now.
If anyone has been through a similar situation how did it play out? What would you have done differently?
Also he will be starting a university in September just 40 minutes from where we live so I can't really ask him to come with me and give up what he is doing..
HELP?!
I think you should go to uni, because it could be the only thing in your life that could make it worth living, since you can't have children. As for your fiancee, I hope you can still make it work by meeting up every weekend or so, maybe somewhere you can both get to easily? Or take it in turns to go to each others' every weekend....
Why is there any question in your mind? Of course you should go!
If your partner really is the one for you, then you will make it work anyway. When you get engaged, the idea is to build a life with that person - not to drop everything you want to do and achieve so that you can be within literal close proximity 100% of the time. If you need to live apart for most of three years to build the kind of life you want together, then so be it! It's a lifetime, not a convenient holiday.
My parents got married, then my mother returned to Zimbabwe for 2 (or 3?) years to finish her PhD while my father stayed in London working. They're still married 40 years later. Why would she consider giving up her PhD? Why would that have to mean losing her marriage, either?
If your partner really is the one for you, then you will make it work anyway. When you get engaged, the idea is to build a life with that person - not to drop everything you want to do and achieve so that you can be within literal close proximity 100% of the time. If you need to live apart for most of three years to build the kind of life you want together, then so be it! It's a lifetime, not a convenient holiday.
My parents got married, then my mother returned to Zimbabwe for 2 (or 3?) years to finish her PhD while my father stayed in London working. They're still married 40 years later. Why would she consider giving up her PhD? Why would that have to mean losing her marriage, either?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by MsPond
Hi so basically I really need some advice.
I have found the perfect course and university for me and am intending on applying so I can attend in 2015.
My problem is that I am currently engaged and half been with my partner for 3 and a half years and the university I want to attend is a 5 hour drive away! I'm nearly 23 and have only recently realised what I want to achieve from my life and am scared of wasting any more time.
This may seem irrelevant but I have recently found out I can't have children, it's what pushed me to think what I want out of my life as being a mother now seems impossible and was my previous life goal. So I guess I'm going through a lot of changes and soul searching at the moment.
Should I go? Should I stay? I really need some advice as I'm so confused right now.
If anyone has been through a similar situation how did it play out? What would you have done differently?
Also he will be starting a university in September just 40 minutes from where we live so I can't really ask him to come with me and give up what he is doing..
HELP?!
I have found the perfect course and university for me and am intending on applying so I can attend in 2015.
My problem is that I am currently engaged and half been with my partner for 3 and a half years and the university I want to attend is a 5 hour drive away! I'm nearly 23 and have only recently realised what I want to achieve from my life and am scared of wasting any more time.
This may seem irrelevant but I have recently found out I can't have children, it's what pushed me to think what I want out of my life as being a mother now seems impossible and was my previous life goal. So I guess I'm going through a lot of changes and soul searching at the moment.
Should I go? Should I stay? I really need some advice as I'm so confused right now.
If anyone has been through a similar situation how did it play out? What would you have done differently?
Also he will be starting a university in September just 40 minutes from where we live so I can't really ask him to come with me and give up what he is doing..
HELP?!
Go to UNIVERSITY!!! .. Oh my gosh you have no idea how much seeing this makes me sad!
Me and my partner have been together longer than you and yours have and were the same age as you. When we left college, we both had a gap year and got used to being together.. then he went to uni that was a tiny bit closer than you're looking at and I stayed at home and worked full time.. Yes its hard, especially the first few months... but we survived fine even though people were constantly saying we wouldnt!! In his second year I moved even further away and attended university. If you love each other and trust each other enough it works out fine! we've had no episodes of cheating etc and we both go out whenever we want with whoever we want!
What you begin to find is.. when you spend time together its so much better than when you used to see each other all the time. Theres always Skype etc and me and my bf are constantly in contact with each other. You should never put your dreams on hold for someone you love. You have your life to devote to your partner, you have a shorter amount of time to train for a career.. Its 3 years of your life... its nothing when you look at the bigger picture!
Quick Reply
Related discussions
- Broke up with bf and he keeps bombarding me
- Regret about Uni Choice after First Year
- What is uni actually like?
- University freshers week
- I think I've picked the wrong course, what should I do?
- Going into uni accommodation advice
- Questions about electronic hand brake?
- Why do I have to rent a place at university?
- Old school mates making fun of me for going to uni
- Ignore OR Confront?
- Good Grades And Experience Are Worthless (Nature Jobs, Science, Humanities)
- worried about university
- uni attendance
- Stay local for uni & move in to halls?
- DMU Chitter-Chatter: Chip-In and Catch-Up!
- Opinions on SOAS?
- Last min regrets about university
- not enjoying uni
- St andrews or queen’s uni belfast
- Regret moving out for uni?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 4 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 4 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 2 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
