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Have I made a terrible decision, should I just leave it?

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 9 months. Up until 2 months ago were pretty solid, then due to circumstances we drifted apart and our contact was limited to the occasional hug/kiss. For the last 2 weeks I've been worried the relationship wont work. I felt that because we spend all of our time in one room of my parents house and hardly ever see the light of day other than to go to work, tensions were running high.

We both go to university in September and have firmed the same one (it was the best university for both of our courses/needs/entry requirements). Today I have said that I'm unsure whether this relationship will work. As of 1 and a half hours ago we are on a one week trial break, he has gone to his parents to stay there.

After sitting down and discussing how I feel with my mum, she thinks that spending hours and hours on end every day together in one room is unhealthy, she also thinks this was going to happen. By that logic, in my mind I feel like maybe there is some hope for this relationship. Maybe it's not the relationship that's flawed, but the circumstances we are in? Should I leave it for a day or so and ring him to discuss what I'm thinking? Or is this going to f**k up his brain?
I probably is going to **** us his brain he's going to be confused but yu should still tell him what your thinking and how you feel just to get it out there then he can tell u how he feels and go from there
Maybe a break isn't quite what you need unless that what you really want it seems like you just need a bit of space


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Personally, I would have had the "This is how I feel, what do you think, mum?" conversation before I told my boyfriend that it wasn't working and I wanted to go on a break.

How did your bf react to you saying that you wanted a break? Did he seem upset, or relieved?

See how you feel today, then talk to your boyfriend. I wouldn't leave it too long, though, or it might be more difficult to resolve.
Reply 3
Original post by Plumstone
Personally, I would have had the "This is how I feel, what do you think, mum?" conversation before I told my boyfriend that it wasn't working and I wanted to go on a break.

How did your bf react to you saying that you wanted a break? Did he seem upset, or relieved?

See how you feel today, then talk to your boyfriend. I wouldn't leave it too long, though, or it might be more difficult to resolve.




We had already touched on the subject before, but didn't make any decisions. He was absolutely gutted, he pulled out all the photos of us, every card I've ever given him, in the hope it would change my mind. I also had the full water works as well :/

We haven't broken up, I'm not good with terminology and all this relationship stuff. We have just cut contact and he is living about 45 minutes away from me.

I'm just worried if I choose to get everything back on track we will just be here again in a years time. :/
Original post by Anonymous
We had already touched on the subject before, but didn't make any decisions. He was absolutely gutted, he pulled out all the photos of us, every card I've ever given him, in the hope it would change my mind. I also had the full water works as well :/

We haven't broken up, I'm not good with terminology and all this relationship stuff. We have just cut contact and he is living about 45 minutes away from me.

I'm just worried if I choose to get everything back on track we will just be here again in a years time. :/


Well, it's clear that he loves you and wants to stay with you, so how you proceed really depends on how you feel.

I've spent two weeks solid with my boyfriend in the past and I loved every minute of it, but some people just need more space. The tension you felt at being cooped up together could be a sign that it's not working, or it could just be the situation - only you can know that.

Imagine what life would be like it you never saw him again. Does that sound like something you could live with? Or does it sound horrific?

Don't worry about being alone - you are still young and will have plenty of opportunities for relationships in the future, but if, deep down, you love this guy and don't want to be without him, then you have your answer :smile:
This. Exactly this.

Original post by Plumstone
Well, it's clear that he loves you and wants to stay with you, so how you proceed really depends on how you feel.

I've spent two weeks solid with my boyfriend in the past and I loved every minute of it, but some people just need more space. The tension you felt at being cooped up together could be a sign that it's not working, or it could just be the situation - only you can know that.

Imagine what life would be like it you never saw him again. Does that sound like something you could live with? Or does it sound horrific?

Don't worry about being alone - you are still young and will have plenty of opportunities for relationships in the future, but if, deep down, you love this guy and don't want to be without him, then you have your answer :smile:


Good luck OP, just don't do anything you'll regret. Circumstances have a major impact! I know that I get really agitated if all I do is see my boyfriend all the time and I start doubting our relationship - I'm not sure why I feel that way, but it happens. But I've always had the opportunity to get back to distance for a bit and then I realise that I can't imagine my life without him. Ask yourself whether life without him sounds like a relief or a disaster. You'll know then.
Original post by Anonymous
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 9 months. Up until 2 months ago were pretty solid, then due to circumstances we drifted apart and our contact was limited to the occasional hug/kiss. For the last 2 weeks I've been worried the relationship wont work. I felt that because we spend all of our time in one room of my parents house and hardly ever see the light of day other than to go to work, tensions were running high.

We both go to university in September and have firmed the same one (it was the best university for both of our courses/needs/entry requirements). Today I have said that I'm unsure whether this relationship will work. As of 1 and a half hours ago we are on a one week trial break, he has gone to his parents to stay there.

After sitting down and discussing how I feel with my mum, she thinks that spending hours and hours on end every day together in one room is unhealthy, she also thinks this was going to happen. By that logic, in my mind I feel like maybe there is some hope for this relationship. Maybe it's not the relationship that's flawed, but the circumstances we are in? Should I leave it for a day or so and ring him to discuss what I'm thinking? Or is this going to f**k up his brain?


Can I ask why you're spending your time together indoors in a room all day? I think relationships require constant effort, whether it's been 2 weeks or 2 years, if both people don't pull their weight the honeymoon buzz and chemistry will fizzle out.

Here are a few suggestions if yous stay together:

Spend some time apart. I mean a lot of time, see each other maybe once a week or every two weeks. Then you'll really miss each other and when you do meet, you'll get this deep feeling inside (it's hard to explain but you'll know what I mean).

When you are together, plan things to do, as a couple you have free range to try things your friends might find boring or not be up for: go hill walking, go to museums/attractions like the zoo etc, go out for meals together, try new foods, basically make your relationship a way to delve into new stuff so you gain memories and experiences together- "I remember the first time I did x with my boyfriend" type thing. But both of you have to want to do these things, otherwise one partner won't be that interested or bothered yknow.

Communicate, tell him how you feel. Don't leave him guessing or think he's a mind reader. Be open.

Also for Uni, you have two options: either you go through this new experience together or separate. I think maybe it's best you do go solo so you'll have these new memories of Uni without any burden or that.. If that makes sense? Like so you won't look back at your time at Uni and associate it with a relationship, but instead good memories meeting new people. But it's your choice of course. Good luck!

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