What should I do about this girl?

I am in love with my friend. But she has a boyfriend who lives in another country. (Long distance relationship 4+ yrs) She plans to marry him.
I told her how I feel and she said that I already know she has a boyfriend and that she loves him and that I shouldn't be selfish.

I said ok I'm sorry but we will stay friends.

I'm finding it very difficult. But I want to overcome these feelings and stay friends with her because we get on really well together and she considers me her close friend.

I don't know what to do. Unrequited love is the worst feeling ever.

I can't tell her how I feel again or it will ruin our friendship. I was already very close to ruining it the first time I told her. She said to me we can't be friends anymore because she doesn't want to see me sad. But I said to her don't worry I will be ok.

But I'm really not ok.

It's currently the summer holidays so I haven't seen her for 2 months and I won't see her until October.

I know she loves somebody else and I should accept that but I am always thinking about her.

It's not a nice feeling. I feel so conflicted and sad.

I am always thinking what is she doing, how is she, etc. And I always get a little jealous and uncomfortable when she is talking to other guys. Why is that? How can I stop thinking like that?

Do I have any chance of being more than friends with her?

I really don't know what to do.

I could really use some constructive advice.

Here is some background info:

4 years ago in Turkey, she went to a concert with her sisters. A guy approached her and gave her a piece of paper with his number.
She came back to the UK and messaged him, and they have been talking since pretty much (4yrs).
They usually talk via Skype. She is madly in love with the guy and she wants to marry him.
Last year she went to Turkey, and he flew from his city to meet her there. She met him secretly without telling her family. Anyway she told me that she kissed him. (no sex etc).

Anyway when she got back to London, she told her mum that she has been talking to a guy for 2-3yrs and that she really likes him. Her mum was angry because she didn't tell her about it before, and told her to stop talking to him. So she stopped talking to him.

But about 2 weeks later, she start talking to him again (her mum does't know), because she really loves him.
She has 2 years of studying to complete, once she is done with that, she plans to ask her mum again, and if she refuses, she will just go (her words).

So my question is, how realistic is this? I mean she lives in the UK, and her bf lives in Turkey. Will it work out between them? I mean they both love each other but still I just don't see it happening personally but I won't say that to her.

Reply 1

Coke Or Pepsi

Just back off dude. Don't be a home wrecker…

Original post by DnzBond

Reply 2

MrKappa

She's in a 4 year 'relationship' with some random Turkish guy that she's only met once? Yeah, i can totally see that working out for her.

Reply 3

A5ko

I reckon you should give her a scrap of paper with your number on it, then occasionally Skype her whilst sleeping with other people.

Reply 4

tearteto

treading on a bloke's toes here. Not cool.
If you want to get over it, i've found just isolating yourself from this person works, no contact whatsoever. after a few months you should be clear (it worked for me, not sure how well it will for you).
Don't wait for these next 2 years just to wait for this unlikely relationship to succeed or decay, find a new group of people, have fun - look elsewhere.

Reply 5

DnzBond

Original post by MrKappa

She's in a 4 year 'relationship' with some random Turkish guy that she's only met once? Yeah, i can totally see that working out for her.

Exactly what I'm thinking. So how do I get her to realise this?

Reply 6

MrKappa

Original post by DnzBond

Exactly what I'm thinking. So how do I get her to realise this?

Show her this http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2653975/My-Turkish-love-rat-left-pregnant-heartbroken-A-models-tale-holiday-romance-gone-horribly-wrong.html

Sadly, she won't think that you're trying to help and if you confront her about this you run the risk of losing her as a friend.

Reply 7

uberteknik

Original post by DnzBond

Exactly what I'm thinking. So how do I get her to realise this?

You cannot. She has to make her own mistakes. If she loved you, she would be with you not him. But as she wants to be with him, you already have your answer.

Why do you want to be second best?

Unfortunately, she also sounds rather naïve and immature.

Advice: forget it and get on with your own life or it will consume you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. So go fishing, you never know what else you might catch.