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My first date with this guy...please give advice

Ok so I hooked up with this guy last week when we were out clubbing. I already knew him vaguely and pulled him about a year ago, but this time we got really into it and he ended up fingering me and stuff. I do like him but I'm a little embarrassed to see him again, knowing that he knows me so intimately...
Anyway he's rang asking to meet up and we've got a date at 7pm on Wed. We're meeting in town and then he wants me to go back to his to "watch a film", I'm ****ting it, what if his family are there?? I'm tempted to just cancel but I'll probably regret it. I get nerves REALLY badly though, does anyone have any advice on how to calm myself down? What should we talk about?!?! Please help people.

Thanks loads.
xx

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Reply 1

Aeris

Anonymous

When he says "watch a film" he probably doesn't mean watch a film.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

What does he mean then? I certainly don't intend to sleep with him.

Reply 3

princessa

dont cancel! be happy that he seems interested in you and hasnt just humped and dumped you, its a good sign! he sounds like a good egg so just bite the bullet. it can be awkward especially if you are of a shy nature but give it a go, if you watch a film then you dont really have to say anything, if you want to make conversation say something about the film, comment on something going on between mutual friends, play a game or something. but he sounds like he likes you too so maybe he'll be making extra efforts to keep it going. i am petrified of spending time with people especially if i like them, in case i go mute and cant say anything but once youre there it is much fun, dont miss out on it. if his family are there just smile and say hi how are you, i doubt he'll make you sit at a formal dinner or something, you'd probably be in his room or something most of the time. as for being embarrassed about your last meeting dont be, you enjoyed it and he must have done as well, just be light hearted about it. and if you really get stuck for something to say you could always just do it again. or leave.

Reply 4

bunthulhu

Anonymous

What does he mean then? I certainly don't intend to sleep with him.

When he says 'film' he quite possibly means 'sex'. If he fingered you on the first (okay, second) time he met you, then he probably will assume that he has a chance of getting in there and is most likely going to try to get at least as far as the last time, if not further.

Reply 5

Aeris

At the risk of sounding like a parental figure, (Although I'm not. I'm young and vibrant...zzzz) If you haven't already slept with this guy, maybe you should just slow down and reconsider. If you're thinking of maybe starting a relationship with him, check your feelings because this doesn't sound like the way a healthy relationship begins. This guy sounds like he just wants sex. If you watch a movie alone with him in his apartment, that might put the wrong kinds of ideas in his head.

Much love,
Aeris

Reply 6

foxiroxi

Just go for it girl....Or maybe suggest going to the cinema, that way (hopefully) there won't be any sex!

Don't cancel though nerves. You will regret it and if he wants you as a girlfriend (and not just another notch on his bed post) he may give up and move on thinking you are not intrested.

Just don't say you will stay the night or maybe say you have to be home by a certain time?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

To put things straight....

It wasn't the second time I'd met him. I've known him a year, but mostly from text and msn chat - I've met up with him about five times in total.

I think he's a virgin so I don't think he expects sex....

Plus I'm really not a slag, please don't call me easy.

Reply 8

Squelchy

The fact that you've known him for a year really changes the whole situation quite a bit.

Yeah, he may well want a relationship with you in that case.

Reply 9

Princess_Charley

Squelchy

You might as well. He's already had his fingers in you, may as well let him go the whole hog, he already thinks you're easy.

Lol, put so romantically. Im also shocked you talked about getting fingered so bluntly. But aren't you worried he will think your easy now? Even though you have known him for a while. Im not saying your easy at all lol. I think alot of girls get that so unfair cos if this was a guy talkiung people would prob be callin him a stud lol.

Try playing hard too get, cos then you know if he wants you for one thing or not. Then also know if he wants relationship. Just see where things are going. enjoy where they are going. Your young so just see lol.

Reply 10

princessa

norelle

They do exist. Not that I'm easy or owt...

of course both types of guys exist, but i like to believe that only the minority are in the camp that thinks of girls as either a shag or a girlfriend, judging by how carried away you both get early on. maybe i am wrong and incredibly naive.

Reply 11

Creepy

Go with the flow, he's probably as nervous as you. If it gets too intimate tell him to back off. Take it easy, keep conversation flowing and you'll have a great time :smile:

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Why are you all so convinced he wants sex? He's a decent guy, who I've been mates with, and we're both 18 years old, so why is it such a bad thing that he fingered me?

Reply 13

username47781

Fair enough you got a date but i think you were very quick to get intimate i mean he fingered you well before the date. Now hes invited you round to watch a film which mostly likely points towards the fact he wants some nookie with you, its a classic guy thing to do, he might be decent but i suggest if you want this to work, take it slowly don't let him make you do anything you do not want to.

Reply 14

princessa

Anonymous

Why are you all so convinced he wants sex? He's a decent guy, who I've been mates with, and we're both 18 years old, so why is it such a bad thing that he fingered me?

ok my thoughts are he clearly likes you, he may want to continue an intimate relationship with you, with or without actual sex, we dont know because we dont know him. some people, rightly or wrongly, would make the assumption that being a randy 18 year old boy he wouldnt say no to sex and may think he has a chance of it with. doesnt make him a bad guy. you like him, and although a bit coy about it now, you got intimate with him and enjoyed it, doesnt make you a bad person. if you still like him i would see how it goes, meet up with him, you dont have to set the boundaries as soon as you meet and say "look im not going to have sex with you". if it comes up, if you do start fooling around with eachother again, then you should bring it up if youre not comfortable. but in your original post it sounded like sex wasnt even the issue, it was more about you dont know how you are going to fill awkward silences and stuff. if thats the case then definitely go, he does sound like a decent guy and too many people miss out on great relationships cause they are chickens. i am one of them.

Reply 15

princessa

Carl1982

oh my god this thread is touching some nerves, all my illusions about guys are being smashed to bits.

she said she's known him for a year, not that quick to get intimate.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

But I get so nervous! Enough about the sex thing....how do I calm my nerves when I meet him? I've missed out on relationships before coz I get so nervous meeting up one-on-one, it's really different in a club for some reason.

Reply 17

norelle

princessa

No no, I agree with you - my last three relationships have all developed from first-night sex. You're not naive at all (or if you are, so am I!)

Reply 18

Anthonyjm71

Aeris

yes agreed sensible advice.

Reply 19

princessa

Anonymous

i am rubbish in these situations too, i feel so much pressure to be funny or entertaining or something but really you just need to be yourself, which probably is entertaining/funny/cute whatever if you dont try too hard. its hard to get rid of nerves but you just have to work with them. i always find if im nervous am so keen to not be silent that i talk to much and just waffle and hopefully they see that and find it endearing and it breaks the ice and then all is well. and then gradually you get more and more comfortable with spending time with them. just pick something to focus on and use it as a talking point to start with, i always use cd collections, flick through their records and make comments. or something of equal non-importance, like a tv show we are watching or something. it doesnt have to be deep or wacky or anything, keep it light and it will be easier.