The Student Room Group

I don't want her to become a memory

-Met a girl who was over on a gap year from France.
-She planned on staying for another year.
-I went out with her a few times,
-Plans to stay for another year collapsed.
-We stop seeing each other, but remain great and close friends.

She left 10 days ago.
The first week with her gone, has been hell.
I can't describe the pain. I've never felt like this.
In the last few days though, I feel like I've started to begin to get over her. I'm not 'over her' yet, but I think that process had begun.

I'm not going through all her social media, I'm not obsessing about staying in contact, I'm not listening to songs that remind me of her, etc, etc...

Yet I still miss her. I'm scared. Scared she's becoming a memory. Scared that I will get over her.

She's the most beautiful and perfect girl I've met, why would I want to get over her?

I suppose I don't want memories. I want moments. I want to see her. I don't want to forget her. I don't want my strong feelings towards her to become indifferent.
I want her to be the girl that I love, not the girl that I loved.
Not somebody I used to know.

Does that make sense? Anyone else gone through these emotions?

Scroll to see replies

Ouch. Go to France.
Reply 2
Perhaps you should tell her how you feel, see if she likes you back, and would reconsider her plans. Good luck, I can sympathize!
Reply 3
Good luck
Reply 4
Original post by Sheepish153
Ouch. Go to France.


I'd love to, but it's not an option.
Reply 5
Original post by Aile
Perhaps you should tell her how you feel, see if she likes you back, and would reconsider her plans. Good luck, I can sympathize!

She does like me, she told me. But she clearly wasn't up for an LDR, which is fair enough (and I'm not sure I was either).

Original post by Thedesias
Good luck


Cheers.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
She does like me, she told me. But she clearly wasn't up for an LDR, which is fair enough (and I'm not sure I was either).

Why couldn't she stay for another year, if that's ok to ask? Or rather, why didn't she?
Reply 7
Original post by Aile
Why couldn't she stay for another year, if that's ok to ask? Or rather, why didn't she?


Because the company where she was interning at went bust, so she couldn't take up the option of another year.
So she went to, or is going to university in September. 4 year course.
Original post by Anonymous

I suppose I don't want memories. I want moments. I want to see her. I don't want to forget her. I don't want my strong feelings towards her to become indifferent.
I want her to be the girl that I love, not the girl that I loved.
Not somebody I used to know.

Does that make sense? Anyone else gone through these emotions?


Yeah, when you do finally get over her, you wouldn't care anymore. These emotions wouldn't exist!

Posted from TSR Mobile
These are the exact same feelings I currently have...(I'm still at the week 1 stage).

She's the most beautiful girl I've met and there's a huge spark between us, but she doesnt want a relationship for now as she's away on a foreign internship (although only for a month). The potential is certainly there and I just hope she reconsiders us when she's back.

For the time being though, I know if I just dwell on her I'll have the most boring summer so I'm just trying to meet new people to forget her although I know that I dont actually want to "forget" her. I just want to forget her for a month or so lol
Original post by LonelyPlanet
Yeah, when you do finally get over her, you wouldn't care anymore. These emotions wouldn't exist!

Posted from TSR Mobile

I know, but it's like when the Men In Black do that mind wipe thing...I don't want that! Lol
Original post by Anonymous
These are the exact same feelings I currently have...(I'm still at the week 1 stage).

She's the most beautiful girl I've met and there's a huge spark between us, but she doesnt want a relationship for now as she's away on a foreign internship (although only for a month). The potential is certainly there and I just hope she reconsiders us when she's back.

For the time being though, I know if I just dwell on her I'll have the most boring summer so I'm just trying to meet new people to forget her although I know that I dont actually want to "forget" her. I just want to forget her for a month or so lol


Lol mate your sorted, it's only a month! If nothing happens when she gets back, it's cause nothing was ever going to happen. If it does, then great!
Just make sure you make your feelings clear and actually ask her out.
Original post by Anonymous
-Met a girl who was over on a gap year from France.
-She planned on staying for another year.
-I went out with her a few times,
-Plans to stay for another year collapsed.
-We stop seeing each other, but remain great and close friends.

She left 10 days ago.
The first week with her gone, has been hell.
I can't describe the pain. I've never felt like this.
In the last few days though, I feel like I've started to begin to get over her. I'm not 'over her' yet, but I think that process had begun.

I'm not going through all her social media, I'm not obsessing about staying in contact, I'm not listening to songs that remind me of her, etc, etc...

Yet I still miss her. I'm scared. Scared she's becoming a memory. Scared that I will get over her.

She's the most beautiful and perfect girl I've met, why would I want to get over her?

I suppose I don't want memories. I want moments. I want to see her. I don't want to forget her. I don't want my strong feelings towards her to become indifferent.
I want her to be the girl that I love, not the girl that I loved.
Not somebody I used to know.

Does that make sense? Anyone else gone through these emotions?


It sounds like it's still very early days. If she meant as much to you as you described, I won't be surprised if it takes over a year to fully get over her, but time does pass and eventually you will forget her...
Original post by Anonymous
-Met a girl who was over on a gap year from France.
-She planned on staying for another year.
-I went out with her a few times,
-Plans to stay for another year collapsed.
-We stop seeing each other, but remain great and close friends.

She left 10 days ago.
The first week with her gone, has been hell.
I can't describe the pain. I've never felt like this.
In the last few days though, I feel like I've started to begin to get over her. I'm not 'over her' yet, but I think that process had begun.

I'm not going through all her social media, I'm not obsessing about staying in contact, I'm not listening to songs that remind me of her, etc, etc...

Yet I still miss her. I'm scared. Scared she's becoming a memory. Scared that I will get over her.

She's the most beautiful and perfect girl I've met, why would I want to get over her?

I suppose I don't want memories. I want moments. I want to see her. I don't want to forget her. I don't want my strong feelings towards her to become indifferent.
I want her to be the girl that I love, not the girl that I loved.
Not somebody I used to know.

Does that make sense? Anyone else gone through these emotions?


Wow that's deep man. If you want her that much you can make it happen you know.
Original post by Anonymous
Lol mate your sorted, it's only a month! If nothing happens when she gets back, it's cause nothing was ever going to happen. If it does, then great!
Just make sure you make your feelings clear and actually ask her out.


Tbh if you really do like her as much as you say, you won't entirely forget her. You'll forget her to a certain extent that it no longer bothers your life but you'll know that if you see her in person again, the feelings will come rushing back- which is actually a good thing.
Original post by Anonymous
-Met a girl who was over on a gap year from France.
-She planned on staying for another year.
-I went out with her a few times,
-Plans to stay for another year collapsed.
-We stop seeing each other, but remain great and close friends.

She left 10 days ago.
The first week with her gone, has been hell.
I can't describe the pain. I've never felt like this.
In the last few days though, I feel like I've started to begin to get over her. I'm not 'over her' yet, but I think that process had begun.

I'm not going through all her social media, I'm not obsessing about staying in contact, I'm not listening to songs that remind me of her, etc, etc...

Yet I still miss her. I'm scared. Scared she's becoming a memory. Scared that I will get over her.

She's the most beautiful and perfect girl I've met, why would I want to get over her?

I suppose I don't want memories. I want moments. I want to see her. I don't want to forget her. I don't want my strong feelings towards her to become indifferent.
I want her to be the girl that I love, not the girl that I loved.
Not somebody I used to know.

Does that make sense? Anyone else gone through these emotions?



OP, you are not alone. I am feeling exactly the same, except mine is at the second month stage. I went through this last summer and now I guess at least it would be at least a year or will never ever see him again. I am very scared that my memory will fade away too..therefore I make myself replaying my every moment with him every day but this kind of feeling just sucks. :frown:
Aaaw you sound so sweet
Reply 17
Original post by Anonymous
-Met a girl who was over on a gap year from France.
-She planned on staying for another year.
-I went out with her a few times,
-Plans to stay for another year collapsed.
-We stop seeing each other, but remain great and close friends.

She left 10 days ago.
The first week with her gone, has been hell.
I can't describe the pain. I've never felt like this.
In the last few days though, I feel like I've started to begin to get over her. I'm not 'over her' yet, but I think that process had begun.

I'm not going through all her social media, I'm not obsessing about staying in contact, I'm not listening to songs that remind me of her, etc, etc...

Yet I still miss her. I'm scared. Scared she's becoming a memory. Scared that I will get over her.

She's the most beautiful and perfect girl I've met, why would I want to get over her?

I suppose I don't want memories. I want moments. I want to see her. I don't want to forget her. I don't want my strong feelings towards her to become indifferent.
I want her to be the girl that I love, not the girl that I loved.
Not somebody I used to know.

Does that make sense? Anyone else gone through these emotions?


1. embrace the pain. its what makes life interesting.
2. contact her and try to arrange meeting her soon.
3. you care about her. but she may not be as in to you as you are into her. she might even have a boyfriend already.

life will break your heart over and over. but it will also give things so good that when you lose them it breaks your heart.

enjoy the roller coster of life
Original post by Anonymous
I'd love to, but it's not an option.


Skype.
Ugh, one of the worst parts of getting over someone is realising that you are getting over them. Means it's really over. Makes you feel like you want to do a sick.

It gets heaps better OP.

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