The Student Room Group

BPD and in a relationship.

When I was 15/16/17, I was very unwell mentally and have been through various disorders, treatments and therapies. I am now 21 and functioning fairly well, compared to how I used to be I am practically recovered.
I haven't been in a relationship for a long time as it always ended up destructive and messy.. (Which for anyone that knows anything about BPD, knows that is pretty normal!)
However, after a long journey of ups and downs, I am now with someone and we have been together for 2 and a half months.
We have known each other for a very long time and are very much in love.
He knows about me and what I've been through, but things keep coming up in my mind and I'm so scared it will finish us.
And at the same time it feels like half of me is willing it to end because I feel that's how this will all play out eventually anyway. I'm trying to talk myself through it and he's amazing at talking me through things... When I can eventually voice how I'm feeling to him. But seeing as that changes so much, one morning I'll wake up and want to cry feeling so distant from him and other times I feel so close and never want to let go.
I have been single for so long because being in a relationship is like going back a few years a go when every day was a constant battle with myself, no one was ever worth going through that again. But he is.
I would just love to talk to someone who is maybe in a relationship with someone coping with BPD or if there are any BPD sufferes out there who could lend me a helping hand?
Thanks, rant over.
:smile: x
Dw im sure shell need a good slap every now and then, you wont think twice.

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