This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

Why do girls with boyfriends sometimes lead on single guys?

First of all, disclosure I have female friends and I don't hit on all girls.

1. I met a girl at uni who I thought was very pretty, seemed to get on with in conversation. In fact, she seemed fairly flirty too. She's on a different course to me. She seemed to have only a few close friends and be more private. I think lots of people were too scared to talk to her as she was drop dead gorgeous. I was in a select few group of guys who got her number and the only one from my course. She played with her hair, and laughed and smiled with me a lot. She exchanged a few texts. One day she said let's meet for coffee too. In fairness I never asked her out or asked about a bf, but then way later on, I found out from someone else that she was engaged. Whaaat? I mean as well as being friendly, I was pretty forward with compliments about her, so I'm not sure why she didn't bring it up. I know there is no "taken" ring on every girl who isn't single, but I felt she was leading me on a bit!

2. One of my female friends is a feisty attractive spanish girl. I get on well with her, because I listen to her. Some of the others in my hall (including her friends) find her a little too talkative. Although I thought she was pretty, I didn't think of her in that way, just friends. I fancy a few girls in halls and she knows this. She seems to walk in a conversation I am having with my crushes and blanks the other girl, essentially interrupting proceedings! She only does this with hot girls.

3. The same girl in (2) seems adamant to block me meeting a crush I have on her course. I was told by three friends that this girl has similar interests to me. I saw a picture and she is beautiful! All 3 said that girl (2) should introduce her to me/vice versa. Girl (2) who up until this point was happy to discuss me meeting other girls, quickly changes the subject "No she's not his type". I was hoping crush girl would be invited to a party at halls (as she invited girl 2 and the others to her own birthday party), but nope. Two days later, girl 2 puts her bare feet on my crotch during a game of cards in public. She also sucks her finger suggestively at breakfast the next day from across the room!

4. As well as fantasising about meeting my crush, I now keep thinking about female friend girl 2. But... get this, I just found out from someone else that she has a long distance boyfriend!

I feel uncomfortable now as I wasn't trying to hit on a girl who was engaged nor enjoy a footjob from a girl with a boyfriend.

Does this happen often?!

(edited 9 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

SILHAM

It happens all the time, everywhere!! Anything to dig for compliments.

Reply 2

CryptoidAlien

She didn't lead you on, guys get the wrong impression. Some guys seem to think if a girl smiles at you she wants to get you in bed and take your shoes off.

Reply 3

nohomo

Original post by CryptoidAlien

She didn't lead you on, guys get the wrong impression. Some guys seem to think if a girl smiles at you she wants to get you in bed and take your shoes off.

Some guys are admittedly like that, but some girls blatantly lead people on, then laugh at them with a large group of friends when they show an interest :angry:

Reply 4

Freudian Slip

Smiling is leading someone on now...?

Goodness knows how I'm gonna break it off with those people I politely greeted today. :lolwut:

Reply 5

pshah2

Original post by CryptoidAlien

She didn't lead you on, guys get the wrong impression. Some guys seem to think if a girl smiles at you she wants to get you in bed and take your shoes off.

Haha i get your point. I was trying to be brief here. But our interactions included her touching my arm or a lot of texts, flirting both ways. She would compliment my appearance or walk with me to the tube etc.

As in it wasn't just smiling. If I'd known she was with someone, let alone moving toward engagement, then I would have been friendly, but not been so flirty

Reply 6

pshah2

Original post by Freudian Slip

Smiling is leading someone on now...?

Goodness knows how I'm gonna break it off with those people I politely greeted today. :lolwut:

Haha okay not just smiling, but she touched my hand, arm when speaking, she used to be really flirty.

Reply 7

pshah2

Original post by nohomo

Some guys are admittedly like that, but some girls blatantly lead people on, then laugh at them with a large group of friends when they show an interest :angry:

Agreed. Need to have a Is she single app that scans your vicinity and tells you who is single in the room.

Reply 8

Elitegamer95

Maybe they play games each other?
Maybe she's naive and doesn't know what she's doing?
Or maybe she gets a kick out of it?

What I do know is it's not gender specific and good communication skills wouldn't go awry.

Reply 9

rahulchopra30

1. They love the attention.
2. They are teasers - just love to tease guys as they get off on it.
3. To have a backup guy.
4. To potentially cheat.
5. They love to control men.

Reply 10

Joan5626

In all honesty, girls like it when guys pay them compliments. (this is coming from a girl just so you know) But just because we smile a lot around you, laugh at your jokes, pay you compliments and act polite around you, doesnt mean that we're leading you on. Some of us are just really nice and friendly ok? Notice I said "some".

Reply 11

rahulchopra30

Original post by Joan5626

Fair point. Not all girls or guys lead the others on.

But some of them, phew, they sure do get touchy, and laugh at your jokes and breast block you from other girls only to reveal as this girl as in OP's thread that they have a bf. I think these types like control, like to tease, and have little regard for the damage they leave in their wake as they find a back up.

Reply 12

#Ridwan

Because they're whores.

Reply 13

Joan5626

Original post by rahulchopra30

Yea I agree with you on that one. There are some girls who seek attention like that.

But I guess it's safe to say that we shouldn't just assume. It's always better to ask, like in this case, to have asked if she had a boyfriend, instead of just thinking that she doesn't because of how you two talk, interact etc.

Reply 14

rahulchopra30

Original post by Joan5626

But if a girl behaves in a flirty way like to OP, then I would have thought it should be brought up by the girl even casually, especially if she knows he's single.

Reply 15

pshah2

Original post by Joan5626

Totally understand that. Not every girl is like this. I have plenty of nice female friends like yourself who are fun. With this one though, she has been flirting in her banter, and also has put her feet on my crotch when sitting down sometimes. Also, I distinctly felt her move her toes a little whilst she did this. It was in public, so I didn't know what to do! She has also suggestively sucked her finger at me at breakfast from the other end of the table. And some of her texts, like 'hey sexy one' have got me confused. She has never mentioned a bf. I don't envisage her as a potential girlfriend, but her flirting and touching have got me aroused. I mean I keep thinking of her feet and her mouth.

What to do? Help!! Also why would she do this? I also just found out from a third party which I later confirmed with this girl's friends that she already has a long distance bf.

Original post by rahulchopra30

1. They love the attention.
2. They are teasers - just love to tease guys as they get off on it.
3. To have a backup guy.
4. To potentially cheat.
5. They love to control men.

Yeah I think this one is a teaser. Maybe she wants me as a backup.

I know another girl on my own course, who is flirty. I don't know if she is single, but I think of her a lot. We're friends at the moment. But see she isn't a controller.

This other one though is a bit crazy.

Reply 16

inachigeek21

Attention.
SOME girls are hardwired to be fun & flirty.
Admittedly many girls flirt with guys in my school, join the confusion club mate.
It's normal.

Reply 17

Ndella

Since they consider themselves attractive enough to get a boyfriend, the single guy is a backup man.

Reply 18

BarackObama

why do boys with girlfriends lead on single girls? Why do people cheat on their spouses? etc, etc.

People get bored. People feel trapped. A myriad of reasons.

When I used to do it, I did it because my boyfriend made me feel like **** and I did it to get back at him for doing the same.
(Thankfully we're much more mature now, but y'know, teenagers.)