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Should I let him?

Hello all. I'm afraid this is long but if you do read it please say something constructive :smile:

I was hoping on some advice on something.

This september I'm going to Bradford uni. I live in hertfordshire and my boyfriend lives in london so I'm moving away from family and even further away from my boyfriend. Now although as hard as it will be I know that we can make things work. We can arrange to see eachother for a weekend at least once a month, and although long traveling it should be fine.

However a while ago my boyfriend got offerd a job in manchester, just briefly and later on he was asked to consider it. Which he did kind of and decided to stay in London.

Now he got asked to think about it again and this time he thought abit more and relised he would be closer to me, making meeting up easier.

Now I love him to bits but I'm scared he will take this new job just to be closer to me which I don't want. Fine if the pay is better (highly unlikely) and or the benifits and perks are better but should I let him change jobs just to locate closer to me while I'm at uni?

I know it's his choice at the end of the day but I don't want him making a mistake because of me.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Well... All I can say is if he's moving JUST to be nearer to you, it's more or less a mistake. All sorts of things could happen and he might end up regretting it or blame you for his decision. Make it clear to him that you'd make maximum effort to see him on weekends if he's in London and that if he takes the job and you're in univ, the chances are you wont be seeing each other any more than that.

After that, let him decide.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

The job he would take in manchester would be similar work but he would have people to work with (not sure if it's with or for) therefore having more time as at the moment he sometimes works 11-12 hour days and thats just in the office. He also works when he gets home.

But it's the if we don't work his stuck in manchester and he hates that city and I don't want him regretting it or blameing it on me.

At the moment any conversations we have, emotions are high as his on holiday and miss eachother so much.

Oh if only things were simple.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Talk it out with him. Both of you need to clearly discuss the pros and cons together and reach a decision. It's really a big decision for him and he should have excellent reasons for making it. If the pros of being in manchester really matter so much to him, he'll stick to it. If not, you should at least try to convince him to stay in London. If he's still determined to come closer to you, bake him a cake.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Thanks. I have so much to discuss with him for when he gets back from holiday. I only want whats best for him and although being closer to me and seeing me more would be good for both of us I always worry what if we split.

Thanks for your help you've been great :smile: