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Is cheating always wrong?

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Reply 20

rmhumphries

This thread is not about the OP's gender. Please keep your posts on-topic.

Reply 21

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Ok, so my gripe is that I'm in a very long term relationship, but I want to know what having sex with others is like too, and by others I mean I want to have sex with members of both genders and just really enjoy it all. I love my partner (of the opposite sex) so much and, barring this would never do anything that would hurt them. I know they wouldn't want me to do this, and it's EXTREMELY unlikely that they've ever done so, but at the same time they want me to be happy and I'm not 100% fulfilled without being sexually experimental.

I don't want to leave them, but I also don't want to continue feeling a bit chastised in a monogamous relationship. I've cheated a lot before, but in the last 6-12 months I seem to have developed a conscious and can't bring myself to do it again. When I did do it before, I used to cry about it afterwards. Now, I'm feeling frustrated and convincing myself that if they never found out and it made me happier, would it be so bad?

Yes it would be appalling if they never found out! That is, if you didn't have the guts to tell him/her (your partner) afterwards! Honestly, if you do the dirty at least own up to it out of decency, so that they can find someone worth their emotional investment. I'm sorry, these sorts of threads infuriate me.

Yeah, so what, we all have urges as sexual human beings, but what separates cowards and decent human beings is that the latter have the tenacity to know what is right and wrong, and therefore admit to what they have done, or about to do.

What your talking about doing here is cowardice. You want to cheat on your long term partner with some other person, and make out that it's not such a bad idea that they find out "whatever they don't know can't hurt them".

This isn't about you, the whole thread seems to be focused on you and your needs, pandering to no1! It's okay for you to mess about because he/she won't find out and you'll be HAPPIER? Honestly....

You say you've cheated before, so you should really know how much hurt it causes a person, and should recognise the trail or destruction you've no doubt caused in prior relations. Furthermore, you should know how it feels, and learn the error of your ways, but clearly you haven't learned have you?

I'm utterly repulsed at this and disgusted quite frankly. Where are peoples morals?

Also, I hope the person you have in mind (that you want to cheat with) doesn't have a partner because that will make you a "home wrecker" as well as a cheat, equally if not more revolving.

Do yourself a favour, save your pride (or whatever is left) bow out of this relationship courteously and own up to the fact you were considering this.

He or she deserves so much more.

Reply 22

SophieSmall

It is wrong on so many levels, for a start you are completely ****ting on your boyfriends trust and he should dump you to be honest because you are a horrible girlfriend and quite clearly not a good and selfish person, the second is you are putting his sexual health at risk without him even being able to have a say in it. Even if you use condoms or dental dams with these people you are cheating on your boyfriend with there are still some STIs and STDs you can catch and if you pass those to your boyfriend you will become an even bigger scumbag.

Reply 23

Anonymous #2

Original post by SophieSmall

In complete agreement with this. I second this :smile:

Reply 24

honeybadgerkid

Original post by Anonymous

Ok, I know I asked for advice but condescend much? I'm older than you probably think and have been in a relationship for longer than you probably think. I've been cheated on and yes it sucked, but it sucked a lot less before I knew it had happened, and they (different person) seemed a lot happier when it was going on. I only found out because they told me, and never would have otherwise, so I would have still been happy in the relationship, and they'd have been happy cheating. My point was that if nobody gets hurt, is it really as wrong as people make out or is it just becausenof the entrenched monogamy brought about by religion and society that it's deemed morally wrong?

The problem with the argument that 'what they don't know won't hurt them' and therefore the cheating is okay because the other partner's lack of awareness means they're still happy, is that they aren't REALLY happy, are they? They're happy with what they THINK they have: a committed and functional relationship. But if you've cheated numerous times and feel the way you seem to feel now, then your partner is happy with what is essentially a lie. If you tell them the whole truth and they're okay with it, that's one thing, but while ignorance may be bliss sometimes, it's not fair or respectful to them.