The Student Room Group

Would You Date a Guy in the Army?

Basically theres this girl I've known for 3 years.
there's always been a bit of a nod and a wink between us during our friendship confirming we have chemistry.

But we've always been in relationships whilst the other is single or in a relationships too.

We've finally caught each other both single and theres been quite an explosion of chemistry between us. nothings come of it yet though.

I was going to join the Army which including training would be almost 3 years.

She said she doesn't want to get in a relationship with me because once she's with someone she likes them to be close by her. She didnt plan on having a partner who was going away for months at a time.
She's also worried about if we did officially get together and her feelings get even stronger that if something happened to me it would destroy her.

also I'm 24 she's 26 and we both want to have a family so we're getting on a bit n need to get settling down.

anyway. what would you guys do in her situation?

feel free to give advice if you like

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I'd say no.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Genocidal
I'd say no.


You have a fair point. It's not something I'd be particularly proud of. I just want the training.

but she's not too worried about that particular area.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Shaolin Punk
You have a fair point. It's not something I'd be particularly proud of. I just want the training.

but she's not too worried about that particular area.


Out of curiosity, why do you want the training?
Original post by Shaolin Punk
Basically theres this girl I've known for 3 years.
there's always been a bit of a nod and a wink between us during our friendship confirming we have chemistry.

But we've always been in relationships whilst the other is single or in a relationships too.

We've finally caught each other both single and theres been quite an explosion of chemistry between us. nothings come of it yet though.

I was going to join the Army which including training would be almost 3 years.

She said she doesn't want to get in a relationship with me because once she's with someone she likes them to be close by her. She didnt plan on having a partner who was going away for months at a time.
She's also worried about if we did officially get together and her feelings get even stronger that if something happened to me it would destroy her.

also I'm 24 she's 26 and we both want to have a family so we're getting on a bit n need to get settling down.

anyway. what would you guys do in her situation?

feel free to give advice if you like


I wouldn't mind having a relationship as long as we can get to talk once in a while through a letter or on the phone... My cousin is in a relationship with a army officer and they have been together for two years now and they are as happy as ever.

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I personally wouldn't like to date someone in the army. Wouldn't like spending months apart plus i don't really like the idea of being with someone who is in the army.

Must be a hard situation though, especially if you really like each other. I guess the best thing would be just to have a long talk about it, i'm sure there's loads of couples in the same situation. Many girls must have a problem with spending months apart from their partner.
Original post by anosmianAcrimony
Out of curiosity, why do you want the training?



I think I like the idea of being trained to be elite.
I feel very stale and stagnant and like I've grown weak behind a desk.
I miss having adrenaline rushes.
I think in the back of my mind I seek out some sort of mens right of passage. Perhaps its related to lack of a father figure? Regardless the desire is there.
I want adventure.

I also want to be trained in combat, war and defence. Like the idea of being a kind of Ninja. I've seen a lot of violence in my personal life and so protection and ability in that area has unfortunately taken up quite a large amount of my thinking and time.

I would like to take my training and work in private security teaching Citizens in the United States how to defend their homes and gun related theory n such.
Reply 7
No way. I wouldn't date a guy in the army. First I don't agree with what they are trained to do and what their job involves plus I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who is away for years or months at a time and sadly, might not even come back.
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(edited 9 years ago)
Well... :eek:
Reply 9
Original post by Shaolin Punk
I think I like the idea of being trained to be elite.
I feel very stale and stagnant and like I've grown weak behind a desk.
I miss having adrenaline rushes.
I think in the back of my mind I seek out some sort of mens right of passage. Perhaps its related to lack of a father figure? Regardless the desire is there.
I want adventure.

I also want to be trained in combat, war and defence. Like the idea of being a kind of Ninja. I've seen a lot of violence in my personal life and so protection and ability in that area has unfortunately taken up quite a large amount of my thinking and time.

I would like to take my training and work in private security teaching Citizens in the United States how to defend their homes and gun related theory n such.


Do you have any idea of what it is the Army - any Army - actually does?
honestly **** army men, never met a bigger bunch of scumbags in my life

my 2 cents
Original post by Malevolent
Well... :eek:


I would :smile: Long distance is a bitch though


Posted from TSR Mobile
If you wish to debate the ethics of what the armed forces do then you can have that discussion in the debate section of TSR, relationships is not the place for it. Thanks :h:
Original post by Devanshee
I wouldn't mind having a relationship as long as we can get to talk once in a while through a letter or on the phone... My cousin is in a relationship with a army officer and they have been together for two years now and they are as happy as ever.

Posted from TSR Mobile


yea being an officer is great.
sadly i wont get in as an officer cause I'm too old. by a month as well.

commando's dont get treated as well though.
Original post by Yasmin25
No way. I wouldn't date a guy in the military. First I don't agree with what they are trained to do and what their job involves plus I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who is away for years or months at a time and sadly, might not even come back.
Posted from TSR Mobile


This pretty much sums up my sentiments as well.
Original post by ~ Aquamarine ~
I personally wouldn't like to date someone in the army. Wouldn't like spending months apart plus i don't really like the idea of being with someone who is in the army.

Must be a hard situation though, especially if you really like each other. I guess the best thing would be just to have a long talk about it, i'm sure there's loads of couples in the same situation. Many girls must have a problem with spending months apart from their partner.


yea. we kinda keep having these up n downs of agreeing its not gonna work. then still having feelings and not being able to deal with being apart.
Original post by Drewski
Do you have any idea of what it is the Army - any Army - actually does?


yes. it was a playful description of the grim subject of being trained to kill.
Do not give up your career aims for a girl, you will regret it when the relationship fails and you're still sat behind a desk feeling weak and unfulfilled.
Original post by BullViagra
honestly **** army men, never met a bigger bunch of scumbags in my life

my 2 cents


I see. I gotta say I havent met many guys who have been in a combat role. most of the guys i've met were like engineers n medics n stuff.

what was your experience of em?
Original post by Shaolin Punk
yes. it was a playful description of the grim subject of being trained to kill.


It's also a wildly inaccurate and misleading description.

There's enough BS posted about the Armed Forces on these forums - from people who haven't got the first clue what they're talking about, who don't know what the training's like, who don't know what the rules are, who's only exposure to fighting is bad war movies and from people who don't live in the real world but instead inhabit some idealised utopia where everyone hugs bunnies all the time and they see no need ever for people to be ready to fight - that we don't need the people who actually do know what they're talking about to make it worse.

Their perceptions will never change unless they're actually given the facts.

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