How screwed am I this year?

Hi guys,

This year I took 4 AS levels - chemistry, physics, maths & further maths.

I have found the first 3 relatively straightforward to keep on top of, but I found further maths quite challenging, and it ended up taking a huge amount of my time outside of college so that I could reasonably keep up. This ended up 'starving' my other subjects out - for example, one week in maths I could get 100% on some homework, the next week it could be a C or D as I would have spent a lot of time going over further. I am by no means a superstar mathematician - I find that I'm slightly above average, and nothing more.

Come exam season, FP1 and M2 were giving me serious problems and I decided to work on them mainly so I could at least scrape a C in further. My first exam was FP1 and it seriously blew my confidence for the rest of the exam season, I couldn't believe how badly it went for me.

The week after FP1 I had my C1, C2, and unit 1 of chemistry and physics. In the past papers I was doing for these modules I was averaging at least 80% on them, so I did feel reasonably well prepared for them as I did at least the last 5 years worth of papers. Unfortunately the cluster**** with FP1 affected my confidence to such an extent that I started making really, really stupid mistakes on these exams, and given that the grade boundaries on these papers are high, I predict that I moved at least 2 grades down.

In addition I also took M2 in that week - it was by far the worst real exam I have ever taken in my life. I have never been in a situation where I had absolutely 0 idea about what to do. I couldn't even answer question 1 despite struggling through past papers (and usually getting a D at the end). I am expecting something like 10 UMS in this module.

The rest of my exams followed the same pattern - I just couldn't cope with them any more despite doing well on them in the past (again, 80% avg on past papers). M1, D1, unit 2 of chemistry and physics - all down the toilet due to the confidence issue.

I know some will ask - with 80% on past papers for maths, chemistry and physics, was I too lenient on myself? When I marked my papers, I followed a policy of 'if it's questionable whether I should get the mark, don't give the mark at all'.

I am aiming to apply for electronic engineering at uni next year, and I've looked at all the ones I want to go for (Southampton, Surrey, Bristol). They all ask for AAA, but this is now becoming a distant goal for me due to the poor exam season. Apart from results, I do other engineering related things (e.g. work experience, various projects), but after speaking to admissions tutors, they look at the grades first, then the statement if it's a borderline applicant (e.g. AAB instead of AAA).

Was I stupid to take further in the first place, in light of my maths skills, despite it being useful for the degree I wanted to take?

Given that my results are going to be piss poor now, what should I do given that I am aiming to apply for competitive courses and unis? Is there a way to spin a U in further maths to look more positive (I'm going to retake AS FM anyway)?

I am dreading having to retake year 12 as my parents will go absolutely ape, it wouldn't be a nice situation to be in. Would probably end up topping myself if it came to that.

The rather sad thing is, before all of this, I was on for pretty good grades (A-B) for everything but further, which was a C. It's pretty much all over now.