The "Nice Guy" complex
So does anyone else find this nice guy thing really annoying? I'm not talking about guys that are nice, just guys who make a big deal about the fact that they're nice and think that because they are there is no reason for a girl not to go out with them. Just because a guy is nice doesn't mean that girls have to like him. In my opinion being nice should be a basic thing and not be treated as something that is exceptional and out of the ordinary. Girls don't owe nice guys anything.
What do you guys think?
What do you guys think?
Scroll to see replies
I've posted regarding this topic before - here's my opinion on it:
The "friendzone" and "nice guy syndrome" seem to go hand in hand. These guys act nice, not with the intent of being decent human beings, but purely to attract girls. If the girls don't have any interest in them, they get their panties in a wad and insist that they have been friendzoned.
Sorry, but as a female, I am not obligated to have sex with any guy who holds the door open to me. And by becoming friends with the guys who are nice to me, I am actually rewarding the nice behaviour. It's not like guys are being nice and I am being a bitch in return - I am actually acknowledging that these guys have been nice to me, and have decided that they are good people and we can be friends. That's where guys seem to fall short. They act nice for the purpose of sex, when acting nice most often ends in friendship. Does that mean you've been "friendzoned"? No! It means that the girl in question does not currently find you to be a suitable partner. She may not be attracted to you physically, she may be attracted to a different sort of personality, or she may just not want to date!
We live in a world where we change our actions based on what we want from other people. This tactic only works if you are clear about it - people won't fall at your feet knowing what you want without you saying. If I want to have sex with somebody, I flirt with them and make my intentions clear. If I want to be friends with someone, I am nice to them and ask them to hang out. If I need help from someone, I approach them and ask for help. Similarly, if a guy was flirting with me and making it clear that he was interested sexually, it means he wants a sexual relationship. If a guy was being nice to me and spending his time with me in a friendly way, it means he wants a friendship. If I guy asked me for my assistance, it means he wants my assistance. It's not that hard of a concept.
tl;dr, Don't bitch about the friendzone when you didn't flirt and express your interest to the girl in question. Your intentions were not clear. If they were, it means she isn't interested, and frankly, you're a **** for thinking that she owes it to you for being nice.
The "friendzone" and "nice guy syndrome" seem to go hand in hand. These guys act nice, not with the intent of being decent human beings, but purely to attract girls. If the girls don't have any interest in them, they get their panties in a wad and insist that they have been friendzoned.
Sorry, but as a female, I am not obligated to have sex with any guy who holds the door open to me. And by becoming friends with the guys who are nice to me, I am actually rewarding the nice behaviour. It's not like guys are being nice and I am being a bitch in return - I am actually acknowledging that these guys have been nice to me, and have decided that they are good people and we can be friends. That's where guys seem to fall short. They act nice for the purpose of sex, when acting nice most often ends in friendship. Does that mean you've been "friendzoned"? No! It means that the girl in question does not currently find you to be a suitable partner. She may not be attracted to you physically, she may be attracted to a different sort of personality, or she may just not want to date!
We live in a world where we change our actions based on what we want from other people. This tactic only works if you are clear about it - people won't fall at your feet knowing what you want without you saying. If I want to have sex with somebody, I flirt with them and make my intentions clear. If I want to be friends with someone, I am nice to them and ask them to hang out. If I need help from someone, I approach them and ask for help. Similarly, if a guy was flirting with me and making it clear that he was interested sexually, it means he wants a sexual relationship. If a guy was being nice to me and spending his time with me in a friendly way, it means he wants a friendship. If I guy asked me for my assistance, it means he wants my assistance. It's not that hard of a concept.
tl;dr, Don't bitch about the friendzone when you didn't flirt and express your interest to the girl in question. Your intentions were not clear. If they were, it means she isn't interested, and frankly, you're a **** for thinking that she owes it to you for being nice.
(edited 9 years ago)
I don't think they feel entitled as such , they simply cant understand why girls would rather be with a guy who doesn't respect them as much as they do.
Some girls fall for guys who treat them badly , play mind games , slightly controlling etc as this behaviour resonates with their self esteem and perhaps reflects the way they were treated by their father.
Im not a nice guy but just a little disturbed that some girls get turned on being treated like **** , spoken down to etc
It is possible to be nice and get girls though , as long as you have other things going for you.
Some girls fall for guys who treat them badly , play mind games , slightly controlling etc as this behaviour resonates with their self esteem and perhaps reflects the way they were treated by their father.
Im not a nice guy but just a little disturbed that some girls get turned on being treated like **** , spoken down to etc
It is possible to be nice and get girls though , as long as you have other things going for you.
Does this happen a lot? I think guys can tend to get branded with this uncomplementary term if they are a bit below average attractiveness and happen to be nice. Often they are just going about their business and trying to get a girlfriend. But do agree with you that no one has a right to date someone just because they want it a lot and friendzoned guys (and probably girls) can behave like idiots.
Original post by canadamoose
I've posted regarding this topic before - here's my opinion on it:
The "friendzone" and "nice guy syndrome" seem to go hand in hand. These guys act nice, not with the intent of being decent human beings, but purely to attract girls. If the girls don't have any interest in them, they get their panties in a wad and insist that they have been friendzoned.
Sorry, but as a female, I am not obligated to have sex with any guy who holds the door open to me. And by becoming friends with the guys who are nice to me, I am actually rewarding the nice behaviour. It's not like guys are being nice and I am being a bitch in return - I am actually acknowledging that these guys have been nice to me, and have decided that they are good people and we can be friends. That's where guys seem to fall short. They act nice for the purpose of sex, when acting nice most often ends in friendship. Does that mean you've been "friendzoned"? No! It means that the girl in question does not currently find you to be a suitable partner. She may not be attracted to you physically, she may be attracted to a different sort of personality, or she may just not want to date!
We live in a world where we change our actions based on what we want from other people. This tactic only works if you are clear about it - people won't fall at your feet knowing what you want without you saying. If I want to have sex with somebody, I flirt with them and make my intentions clear. If I want to be friends with someone, I am nice to them and ask them to hang out. If I need help from someone, I approach them and ask for help. Similarly, if a guy was flirting with me and making it clear that he was interested sexually, it means he wants a sexual relationship. If a guy was being nice to me and spending his time with me in a friendly way, it means he wants a friendship. If I guy asked me for my assistance, it means he wants my assistance. It's not that hard of a concept.
tl;dr, Don't bitch about the friendzone when you didn't flirt and express your interest to the girl in question. Your intentions were not clear. If they were, it means she isn't interested, and frankly, you're a c*nt for thinking that she owes it to you for being nice.
The "friendzone" and "nice guy syndrome" seem to go hand in hand. These guys act nice, not with the intent of being decent human beings, but purely to attract girls. If the girls don't have any interest in them, they get their panties in a wad and insist that they have been friendzoned.
Sorry, but as a female, I am not obligated to have sex with any guy who holds the door open to me. And by becoming friends with the guys who are nice to me, I am actually rewarding the nice behaviour. It's not like guys are being nice and I am being a bitch in return - I am actually acknowledging that these guys have been nice to me, and have decided that they are good people and we can be friends. That's where guys seem to fall short. They act nice for the purpose of sex, when acting nice most often ends in friendship. Does that mean you've been "friendzoned"? No! It means that the girl in question does not currently find you to be a suitable partner. She may not be attracted to you physically, she may be attracted to a different sort of personality, or she may just not want to date!
We live in a world where we change our actions based on what we want from other people. This tactic only works if you are clear about it - people won't fall at your feet knowing what you want without you saying. If I want to have sex with somebody, I flirt with them and make my intentions clear. If I want to be friends with someone, I am nice to them and ask them to hang out. If I need help from someone, I approach them and ask for help. Similarly, if a guy was flirting with me and making it clear that he was interested sexually, it means he wants a sexual relationship. If a guy was being nice to me and spending his time with me in a friendly way, it means he wants a friendship. If I guy asked me for my assistance, it means he wants my assistance. It's not that hard of a concept.
tl;dr, Don't bitch about the friendzone when you didn't flirt and express your interest to the girl in question. Your intentions were not clear. If they were, it means she isn't interested, and frankly, you're a c*nt for thinking that she owes it to you for being nice.
hahah jaysus youve been wanting to say that for a life werent yeh p
Original post by trustmeimlying1
hahah jaysus youve been wanting to say that for a life werent yeh p
Having accidentally "friendzoned" a great many "nice guys", yes, yes I have.
Original post by canadamoose
I've posted regarding this topic before - here's my opinion on it:
The "friendzone" and "nice guy syndrome" seem to go hand in hand. These guys act nice, not with the intent of being decent human beings, but purely to attract girls. If the girls don't have any interest in them, they get their panties in a wad and insist that they have been friendzoned.
Sorry, but as a female, I am not obligated to have sex with any guy who holds the door open to me. And by becoming friends with the guys who are nice to me, I am actually rewarding the nice behaviour. It's not like guys are being nice and I am being a bitch in return - I am actually acknowledging that these guys have been nice to me, and have decided that they are good people and we can be friends. That's where guys seem to fall short. They act nice for the purpose of sex, when acting nice most often ends in friendship. Does that mean you've been "friendzoned"? No! It means that the girl in question does not currently find you to be a suitable partner. She may not be attracted to you physically, she may be attracted to a different sort of personality, or she may just not want to date!
We live in a world where we change our actions based on what we want from other people. This tactic only works if you are clear about it - people won't fall at your feet knowing what you want without you saying. If I want to have sex with somebody, I flirt with them and make my intentions clear. If I want to be friends with someone, I am nice to them and ask them to hang out. If I need help from someone, I approach them and ask for help. Similarly, if a guy was flirting with me and making it clear that he was interested sexually, it means he wants a sexual relationship. If a guy was being nice to me and spending his time with me in a friendly way, it means he wants a friendship. If I guy asked me for my assistance, it means he wants my assistance. It's not that hard of a concept.
tl;dr, Don't bitch about the friendzone when you didn't flirt and express your interest to the girl in question. Your intentions were not clear. If they were, it means she isn't interested, and frankly, you're a c*nt for thinking that she owes it to you for being nice.
The "friendzone" and "nice guy syndrome" seem to go hand in hand. These guys act nice, not with the intent of being decent human beings, but purely to attract girls. If the girls don't have any interest in them, they get their panties in a wad and insist that they have been friendzoned.
Sorry, but as a female, I am not obligated to have sex with any guy who holds the door open to me. And by becoming friends with the guys who are nice to me, I am actually rewarding the nice behaviour. It's not like guys are being nice and I am being a bitch in return - I am actually acknowledging that these guys have been nice to me, and have decided that they are good people and we can be friends. That's where guys seem to fall short. They act nice for the purpose of sex, when acting nice most often ends in friendship. Does that mean you've been "friendzoned"? No! It means that the girl in question does not currently find you to be a suitable partner. She may not be attracted to you physically, she may be attracted to a different sort of personality, or she may just not want to date!
We live in a world where we change our actions based on what we want from other people. This tactic only works if you are clear about it - people won't fall at your feet knowing what you want without you saying. If I want to have sex with somebody, I flirt with them and make my intentions clear. If I want to be friends with someone, I am nice to them and ask them to hang out. If I need help from someone, I approach them and ask for help. Similarly, if a guy was flirting with me and making it clear that he was interested sexually, it means he wants a sexual relationship. If a guy was being nice to me and spending his time with me in a friendly way, it means he wants a friendship. If I guy asked me for my assistance, it means he wants my assistance. It's not that hard of a concept.
tl;dr, Don't bitch about the friendzone when you didn't flirt and express your interest to the girl in question. Your intentions were not clear. If they were, it means she isn't interested, and frankly, you're a c*nt for thinking that she owes it to you for being nice.
I think flirting and being nice are not mutually exclusive.
Original post by canadamoose
Having accidentally "friendzoned" a great many "nice guys", yes, yes I have.
ooohhh this wans a stunner lads
Get this often when I've turned someone down. Friends all like 'but he's a nice guy you're so mean'
Don't remember being nice being the only prerequisite for a relationship etc.
If I dated everyone who approached me who was just 'nice' then I'd have a lovely harem...
Also too much nice is a bit scary sometime o.o
Don't remember being nice being the only prerequisite for a relationship etc.
If I dated everyone who approached me who was just 'nice' then I'd have a lovely harem...
Also too much nice is a bit scary sometime o.o
Original post by Inazuma
Get this often when I've turned someone down. Friends all like 'but he's a nice guy you're so mean'
Don't remember being nice being the only prerequisite for a relationship etc.
If I dated everyone who approached me who was just 'nice' then I'd have a lovely harem...
Also too much nice is a bit scary sometime o.o
Don't remember being nice being the only prerequisite for a relationship etc.
If I dated everyone who approached me who was just 'nice' then I'd have a lovely harem...
Also too much nice is a bit scary sometime o.o
Probably a good thing.
A new guy for each day.
Original post by Zarek
I think flirting and being nice are not mutually exclusive.
I disagree. I don't flirt with people I am not romantically interested in.
Its true. I blame 90s Disney for making it out like girls respond sexually to all that rubbish.
But I don't think these guys should be attacked if they no longer want to remain friends with the girl after they have been rejected. Sure she does not owe him a relationship, but why does he owe her a friendship when he wants more?
But I don't think these guys should be attacked if they no longer want to remain friends with the girl after they have been rejected. Sure she does not owe him a relationship, but why does he owe her a friendship when he wants more?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by canadamoose
I disagree. I don't flirt with people I am not romantically interested in.
No, but might you not flirt and be nice to someone you are romantically interested in?
Original post by fat_hobbit
Probably a good thing.
A new guy for each day.
A new guy for each day.
Lol it would be fun. I could host a party with none of them knowing they are all part of my little harem >
muhahhaOriginal post by Inazuma
Lol it would be fun. I could host a party with none of them knowing they are all part of my little harem > muhahha
muhahhaOh my, I better stop giving you ideas...
Original post by Mr Smurf
Its true. I blame 90s Disney for making it out like girls respond sexually to all that rubbish.
But I don't think these guys should be attacked if they no longer want to remain friends with the girl after they have been rejected. Sure she does not owe him a relationship, but why does he owe her a friendship when he wants more?
But I don't think these guys should be attacked if they no longer want to remain friends with the girl after they have been rejected. Sure she does not owe him a relationship, but why does he owe her a friendship when he wants more?
No one mentioned anything about that in this thread. I think people are talking about the cases when the guy turns into a shameless prick as soon as they get rejected. Cutting a girl off when rejected isn't a prick move, it's sensible and the right thing to do for both parties.
Original post by Zarek
No, but might you not flirt and be nice to someone you are romantically interested in?
Sure I would. But my intentions would still be clear, as the flirting is in there.
Original post by Mr Smurf
Its true. I blame 90s Disney for making it out like girls respond sexually to all that rubbish.
But I don't think these guys should be attacked if they no longer want to remain friends with the girl after they have been rejected. Sure she does not owe him a relationship, but why does he owe her a friendship when he wants more?
But I don't think these guys should be attacked if they no longer want to remain friends with the girl after they have been rejected. Sure she does not owe him a relationship, but why does he owe her a friendship when he wants more?
Generally I don't think girls give a hoot if the guy doesn't want to be friends after rejection. That's why the friendzone is a humiliating place to be.
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