Am i perverted for fancying my teacher?
So i know this may sound pathetic but around six months ago i began having a crush on my Maths teacher, it started because i felt like i was struggling in maths so during break time i spoke to him about maybe moving me down to the middle set because at the time i felt like it was a little bit difficult for me, he started telling me that he doesn't think I'd need that and basically just started saying really nice things to me and i guess i was flattered, i was also going through some difficult stuff out of school so it was nice to hear someone say something nice to me.
Anyways, after that he began to tutor me during my break times to help me with my maths and i confided in him a bit about my home life and everything and he was really nice to me about it all and would make me feel better. After around 2 months my tutoring came to an end as I'd caught up with everything but i began to notice that i missed his company and stuff, we still spoke every now and again (maybe like once a week) but now that the summer holidays have started i know that i won't have anyone/him to talk to or confide in.
Yesterday i spoke to a friend of mine and basically told her everything and how i felt alone and was missing my teachers company and i told her how i felt and everything. She told me that i could speak to her about anything but then she said "it is kinda perverted that you have a crush on him through, he's 11 years older than you- it's so wrong"
This kind of offended me and made me feel ashamed i guess, it's not like we have a sexual relationship or anything, he's just been there for me when nobody hasn't and I've been flattered by it all. Since she said that I've been feeling really guilty and like I've done something wrong.
What are your guys views? Is fancying him totally wrong? Does it make me a bad person? Sorry about the essay
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Anyways, after that he began to tutor me during my break times to help me with my maths and i confided in him a bit about my home life and everything and he was really nice to me about it all and would make me feel better. After around 2 months my tutoring came to an end as I'd caught up with everything but i began to notice that i missed his company and stuff, we still spoke every now and again (maybe like once a week) but now that the summer holidays have started i know that i won't have anyone/him to talk to or confide in.
Yesterday i spoke to a friend of mine and basically told her everything and how i felt alone and was missing my teachers company and i told her how i felt and everything. She told me that i could speak to her about anything but then she said "it is kinda perverted that you have a crush on him through, he's 11 years older than you- it's so wrong"
This kind of offended me and made me feel ashamed i guess, it's not like we have a sexual relationship or anything, he's just been there for me when nobody hasn't and I've been flattered by it all. Since she said that I've been feeling really guilty and like I've done something wrong.
What are your guys views? Is fancying him totally wrong? Does it make me a bad person? Sorry about the essay
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There's nothing wrong with fancying a teacher - just don't act on it, for both of your sakes.
Ask Van Halen.
its not wrong at all as long as you don't act on it as the person above me says 
its pretty common actually esp amongst high school girls
its pretty common actually esp amongst high school girls
well, first things first, is he hot?
Normal amongst teenage girls lol
Well firstly you're friend is being daft, she really doesn't understand what perverted means, therefore no it's not prevented
Secondly it's not wrong to fancy him but just don't act on it
Secondly it's not wrong to fancy him but just don't act on it
Original post by Serena20
x
Well the most appropriate course of action now is to tell him so that you can be together.
I think it's normal, me and every other guy in my grade had a crush on our math teacher in 7th grade :P As long as it just remains a fantasy instead of becoming a reality it's all good
I had a crush on both of my maths teachers at school
This is not really evidence that it's not being perverted...but I'm certain it's very common.
This is not really evidence that it's not being perverted...but I'm certain it's very common.
(edited 9 years ago)
Nothing wrong with having a crush on someone older or younger than you. You can find anyone at any age attractive, whether it's their looks or presence and personality etc, it's not something you can help
I think during the summer break you will become used to not seeing him as much and eventually the feelings will fade. Just keep yourself busy to not think about him too much, otherwise you'll get upset/frustrated
Possibly you don't fancy him but see him as a friend because you were kind of vulnerable (not being rude) in your feelings and you were able to open up to him during a difficult time. You may be confusing it with a crush
And don't listen to your friend, she isn't able to think reasonably yet
I think during the summer break you will become used to not seeing him as much and eventually the feelings will fade. Just keep yourself busy to not think about him too much, otherwise you'll get upset/frustrated
Possibly you don't fancy him but see him as a friend because you were kind of vulnerable (not being rude) in your feelings and you were able to open up to him during a difficult time. You may be confusing it with a crush
And don't listen to your friend, she isn't able to think reasonably yet
I don't plan on acting on it, he's actually a really nice person so i wouldn't like him to lose his job- although I'm fairly certain that he doesn't like me that way anyway. It's just really hard discussing my problems with my friends because i find they can be really judgemental about stuff so it's easier to speak to someone else. I'm glad it isn't wrong though, ever since my friend made that remark I've felt like a bad person so it's nice to know it's pretty common thanks guys!
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thanks guys! Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Serena20
Anyways, after that he began to tutor me during my break times to help me with my maths and i confided in him a bit about my home life and everything and he was really nice to me about it all and would make me feel better. After around 2 months my tutoring came to an end as I'd caught up with everything but i began to notice that i missed his company and stuff, we still spoke every now and again (maybe like once a week) but now that the summer holidays have started i know that i won't have anyone/him to talk to or confide in.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Anyways, after that he began to tutor me during my break times to help me with my maths and i confided in him a bit about my home life and everything and he was really nice to me about it all and would make me feel better. After around 2 months my tutoring came to an end as I'd caught up with everything but i began to notice that i missed his company and stuff, we still spoke every now and again (maybe like once a week) but now that the summer holidays have started i know that i won't have anyone/him to talk to or confide in.
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I as a teacher would never tutor a girl 1:1 for this reason. I think there is always the risk of this sort of emotional attachment.
I quite like this answer:
http://life.familyeducation.com/teen/sexuality/41610.html
It seems your crush is based out of admiration rather than lust and says more about yourself than it does about him.
Original post by ArabianPhoenix
Normal amongst teenage girls lol
Original post by Secretnerd123
its not wrong at all as long as you don't act on it as the person above me says its pretty common actually esp amongst high school girls
its pretty common actually esp amongst high school girlsWould you say it's more common amongst teenage girls than boys?
Original post by Autistic Merit
I as a teacher would never tutor a girl 1:1 for this reason. I think there is always the risk of this sort of emotional attachment.
I quite like this answer:
http://life.familyeducation.com/teen/sexuality/41610.html
It seems your crush is based out of admiration rather than lust and says more about yourself than it does about him.
I quite like this answer:
http://life.familyeducation.com/teen/sexuality/41610.html
It seems your crush is based out of admiration rather than lust and says more about yourself than it does about him.
I just gave it a read
Yeah I'm really aware that i cannot act on it and that he doesn't feel the same way, i get that, that's why I'm not going to even tell him. I don't want to make him feel awkward and uncomfortable, and i certainly don't want to make his job any harder.
What do you mean by "says more about yourself than it does about him"?
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Original post by Serena20
From the article:
"You might learn some important things about yourself from your crush on this teacher. By identifying the things that you admire in this teacher, you'll see what qualities are important to you when you have opportunities to have romantic relationships with your peers. Please don't expect the boys your age to match up with this teacher in terms of their appeal or their maturity."
Original post by Autistic Merit
From the article:
"You might learn some important things about yourself from your crush on this teacher. By identifying the things that you admire in this teacher, you'll see what qualities are important to you when you have opportunities to have romantic relationships with your peers. Please don't expect the boys your age to match up with this teacher in terms of their appeal or their maturity."
"You might learn some important things about yourself from your crush on this teacher. By identifying the things that you admire in this teacher, you'll see what qualities are important to you when you have opportunities to have romantic relationships with your peers. Please don't expect the boys your age to match up with this teacher in terms of their appeal or their maturity."
I see.
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