Family making me feel guilty about going to Uni. (Unintentionally)
So my parents are divorced and I have just the one brother who has his own house with his wife and child. We've always been a close family and my Mum, Dad & Brother all live within 5 minutes of each other.
I currently live alternating weeks with either parent. So one week at Mums, one week at Dads and so on. They are both single so they kind of rely on me for company and someone to be at the house with.
I'm going to University this September and will be living a good 5 hours train journey away from home. On face value, my Parents are being very supportive saying it's great and everything but I can tell they're distraught that I will be leaving them on their own and I think they're also a bit scared.
They keep saying things like "I don't know what I'm going to do when you've gone" and "It's going to be so lonely here" and so on.
My Nephew who is 5 also said how much he's going to miss me and saying he doesn't want me to go.
I just need some advice/words of wisdom about this, I'm even having crazy thoughts of withdrawing my application and getting a job so I don't have to leave.
I know it will be the best thing I've ever done but the things they keep saying is making me feel so incredibly guilty to the point where I'm feeling like a horrible selfish person and getting myself upset over it.
Has anyone else felt like this?
I currently live alternating weeks with either parent. So one week at Mums, one week at Dads and so on. They are both single so they kind of rely on me for company and someone to be at the house with.
I'm going to University this September and will be living a good 5 hours train journey away from home. On face value, my Parents are being very supportive saying it's great and everything but I can tell they're distraught that I will be leaving them on their own and I think they're also a bit scared.
They keep saying things like "I don't know what I'm going to do when you've gone" and "It's going to be so lonely here" and so on.
My Nephew who is 5 also said how much he's going to miss me and saying he doesn't want me to go.
I just need some advice/words of wisdom about this, I'm even having crazy thoughts of withdrawing my application and getting a job so I don't have to leave.
I know it will be the best thing I've ever done but the things they keep saying is making me feel so incredibly guilty to the point where I'm feeling like a horrible selfish person and getting myself upset over it.
Has anyone else felt like this?
Don't feel guilty over this and certainly don't withdraw your application! You'll still be there on holidays and you'll be back in a few years and trust me the years go very fast. You're not a selfish person do not think like that, you're getting an education you're not swanning off to go live in Paris with a bottle of wine and a cheese board.
My mum tells me she misses me when I'm away at uni and while I know it must be sad for her that her youngest has flown the nest she seems me every few weeks or so so it isn't that bad and the summer is really long (too long) and she sees me all of then. The only thing I really feel guilty about is that I can't help her out around the house much any more (she's disabled) but she has other family to help with that and I can't let that affect my education. She knows I love her and I'll be back for some time in a couple of years when I finish uni.
My mum tells me she misses me when I'm away at uni and while I know it must be sad for her that her youngest has flown the nest she seems me every few weeks or so so it isn't that bad and the summer is really long (too long) and she sees me all of then. The only thing I really feel guilty about is that I can't help her out around the house much any more (she's disabled) but she has other family to help with that and I can't let that affect my education. She knows I love her and I'll be back for some time in a couple of years when I finish uni.
Don't withdraw your Mum and Dad will miss you of course but they understand it's for the best part from them you are probably pretty nevous about Leaving home it's a big change if it's not for you after the first term drop out
Original post by Anonn123
So my parents are divorced and I have just the one brother who has his own house with his wife and child. We've always been a close family and my Mum, Dad & Brother all live within 5 minutes of each other.
I currently live alternating weeks with either parent. So one week at Mums, one week at Dads and so on. They are both single so they kind of rely on me for company and someone to be at the house with.
I'm going to University this September and will be living a good 5 hours train journey away from home. On face value, my Parents are being very supportive saying it's great and everything but I can tell they're distraught that I will be leaving them on their own and I think they're also a bit scared.
They keep saying things like "I don't know what I'm going to do when you've gone" and "It's going to be so lonely here" and so on.
My Nephew who is 5 also said how much he's going to miss me and saying he doesn't want me to go.
I just need some advice/words of wisdom about this, I'm even having crazy thoughts of withdrawing my application and getting a job so I don't have to leave.
I know it will be the best thing I've ever done but the things they keep saying is making me feel so incredibly guilty to the point where I'm feeling like a horrible selfish person and getting myself upset over it.
Has anyone else felt like this?
I currently live alternating weeks with either parent. So one week at Mums, one week at Dads and so on. They are both single so they kind of rely on me for company and someone to be at the house with.
I'm going to University this September and will be living a good 5 hours train journey away from home. On face value, my Parents are being very supportive saying it's great and everything but I can tell they're distraught that I will be leaving them on their own and I think they're also a bit scared.
They keep saying things like "I don't know what I'm going to do when you've gone" and "It's going to be so lonely here" and so on.
My Nephew who is 5 also said how much he's going to miss me and saying he doesn't want me to go.
I just need some advice/words of wisdom about this, I'm even having crazy thoughts of withdrawing my application and getting a job so I don't have to leave.
I know it will be the best thing I've ever done but the things they keep saying is making me feel so incredibly guilty to the point where I'm feeling like a horrible selfish person and getting myself upset over it.
Has anyone else felt like this?
That's sad to hear, I'm actually in a similar position and my mum says the exact same things to me, and my dad just asks what day I'm going
•
Don't feel guilty and do not, no matter what, withdraw! My mother is actually trying to make me feel guilty about leaving the nest for Uni (London to Birmingham) but I know that this journey is one I must take
Of course they are going to miss you, but I'm sure they can cope without you. When you take out all the holidays, you are only in uni for 6 months of the year, and you won't be there forever. One day you are going to have to live your own life with your own family outside of your parents home. Unis is a good step to a bit more independence 
I was in a similar situation - only child, divorced parents, both of whom are still single, not much by way of family locally.
I'm sure your parents would be mortified if they thought you'd compromise your own education to keep them company. They sound like decent people who want the best for you, but who are just struggling with the entirely normal phenomenon of empty nest syndrome.
You'll be home for about 5 months of the year at uni because of the long holidays, and given a bit of luck they'll both find other things to do socially in their spare time.
Speak to them though - I'm sure that if they knew you were thinking of not going to uni / changing uni because of them they'd be horrified.
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I'm sure your parents would be mortified if they thought you'd compromise your own education to keep them company. They sound like decent people who want the best for you, but who are just struggling with the entirely normal phenomenon of empty nest syndrome.
You'll be home for about 5 months of the year at uni because of the long holidays, and given a bit of luck they'll both find other things to do socially in their spare time.
Speak to them though - I'm sure that if they knew you were thinking of not going to uni / changing uni because of them they'd be horrified.
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