Scared of Parents ! Advice needed :(

Well ****.
I'd have thought your dad would be more understanding, as he married someone from a different ethnicity and faith, same with your mum. But at the end of the day, it is YOUR life and who you get married to should be your choice,not theirs. If you haven't already, try speaking to them about how you feel. If all else fails,move out(easier said than done,but its what i'd do)
Good luck OP

Reply 41

Politricks

19

Original post by Roger1

You are only 17/18 and your parents are already thinking of your marriage. :eek:

What smiley would you use for someone who was married off at the tender age of 6?

Reply 42

Michael!

13

Forced marriage is illegal in the UK. You'd do well to remind your parents of that. You are not a Sikh, just because your mum is, doesn't mean you should do what she wants. DO NOT marry someone who you don't want to. This is YOUR life, not your mother's. You only get one chance at it and you need to do what makes you happy. If your parents don't accept it then that's their problem. You do not need them.

When you're 18 they can kick you out of the home anyway. But I'd suggest recording a conversation between you and your parents when you're discussing the arranged marriage. Then when you say, "no, I'm not doing that", if they kick you out then go to social services and play them the tape. Forced marriage is illegal and rightly so.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 43

Varius

Original post by simran1996

Hey guys!

I have a problem when it comes to my parents. My dad is a Englishman and is pretty much agnostic while my mum is a strict Sikh. They have agreed that I must marry a Sikh man and they tell me they have agreed to a arranged marriage on my behalf to someone in India.

Now I don't really feel attracted to that many Sikh guys which is where the problem starts. I've seen the guys picture and I'm not attracted to him at all. I just think the whole beard and turban rules are quite unhygienic. It's not something i would like at all.

I prefer dating white guys or even other brown guys who don't wear the turban and have a unhygienic beard, as long as they are somewhat attractive. They have told me that if I don't accept this then I would not be allowed to live in the home :frown:

Any advice would be appreciated :smile:

btw im im a non practicing Sikh :smile:

Your father is right,marry an Indian guy if you go with a white man you will suffer,your mother has no right to say anything because she's the women.Listen to the man of the house he has more wisdom than you.

Reply 44

SMEGGGY

21

Original post by James222

Put a spoon in your underwear if your forced to go to the airport. That will let security know your being taken under duress

Lol. Spoon in her ****. :facepalm:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 45

Ornlu

4

Simran, please read this:

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2583453

I hope it's useful, even if at least a little bit :redface:

Reply 46

rascar

1

Do you have any siblings, Aunts, uncles, grandparents on your father's side who you can appeal to/help share the burden with? Or even close friends with some influence?
A problem shared is a problem halved (sort of).

Given your background I can't believe there is no one who can stand up to your parents and say this is ridiculous. Does your Dad buy the arranged marriage is better argument? Even so this sounds forced, not arranged.

Reply 47

simran1996

OP

I appreciate every single post on this thread, my mother is not a hypocrite there is actually quite a long story which I am not comfortable sharing with the world right now.

But i appreciate you guys taking the time out to help me and offer guidance. I'm never going to call the police on them as i love them too much but I think the best way is to find someone in the UK when I go to university or I could move away after uni.

Il let you guys know how things turn out

Reply 48

morethanafeeling

6

Tell them, in no uncertain terms, to F off. Lol. Seriously, I thought the world was more developed than this BS! I, as a man, I'm definitely not a fan of the headgear. Your mother is being terribly archaic and forced marriage is illegal; you could persecute her and she'd likely get time. Best of luck with your situation. :smile:

Reply 49

ridwan12

12

Original post by donutaud15

I beg to differ.

OP I don't have any advice as I think people here have already covered what I would say. Just wanted to say good luck and be careful.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Well i'm speaking from an African point of view.

Reply 50

donutaud15

22

Original post by ridwan12

Well i'm speaking from an African point of view.

Then don't generalise with saying 'every parent'. It happens in some Asian families. I know since it also happened to me.

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 51

ridwan12

12

Original post by donutaud15

Then don't generalise with saying 'every parent'. It happens in some Asian families. I know since it also happened to me.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Sorry to hear that. I was just speaking generally from my personal circumstances.Maybe I should have reworded it to "most". I've justed edited it.

:biggrin:

Reply 52

Mick.w

18

Original post by simran1996

Hey guys!

I have a problem when it comes to my parents. My dad is a Englishman and is pretty much agnostic while my mum is a strict Sikh. They have agreed that I must marry a Sikh man and they tell me they have agreed to a arranged marriage on my behalf to someone in India.

Now I don't really feel attracted to that many Sikh guys which is where the problem starts. I've seen the guys picture and I'm not attracted to him at all. I just think the whole beard and turban rules are quite unhygienic. It's not something i would like at all.

I prefer dating white guys or even other brown guys who don't wear the turban and have a unhygienic beard, as long as they are somewhat attractive. They have told me that if I don't accept this then I would not be allowed to live in the home :frown:

Any advice would be appreciated :smile:

btw im im a non practicing Sikh :smile:

are you at uni? are you living with parents while at uni?