The Student Room Group

Why can't females ask males to be in a relationship/propose?

Why is it that males always have to do everything? I mean I wouldn't mind being proposed to or asked to enter a relationship by a female...
(edited 9 years ago)
It depends on the species doesn't it? Naturally for humans, females are the ones that attract. (For most species of bird, the males do the attracting)

So for a girl to ask someone out, is a sign that she's not attractive in the first place eh?
(edited 9 years ago)
They can, they have, they do.
They do all the time.
Reply 4
Most men aren't pussies and have the guts to do the asking.
Like men sometimes women could be scared of rejection.

I asked my husband out but I don't think I could have proposed since he did it spontaneously and I didn't expect it at all.

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(edited 9 years ago)
Some do
Original post by Maker
Most men aren't pussies and have the guts to do the asking.


That's a rather bold statement
Original post by Maker
Most men aren't pussies and have the guts to do the asking.



Original post by EatAndRevise
That's a rather bold statement


If I asked out my boyfriend or proposed to him, I know he would feel rather emasculated. We have spoken about it in the past, and he feels that if the guy can't step up and take charge in this instance, and just waits for the female, it doesn't show much about his balls for the rest of the relationship/marriage.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by stargirl63
If I asked out my boyfriend or proposed to him, I know he would feel rather emasculated. We have spoken about it in the past, and he feels that if the guy can't step up and take charge in this instance, and just waits for the female, it doesn't show much about his balls for the rest of the relationship/marriage.


I think that's silly. Society has made males think that they have to always make the first move and things like that...
Men are naturally the stronger sex. So it is "unthinkable" for them to cry or even have mental health issues
Unfortunately it's what a lot if people tell us in society.
"The man must make the first move"
"Never initiate contact, if you do you look too keen"
"If he doesn't ask you out first he's not interested"

It's all so sad. Perhaps the guy is shy or wants to feel wanted, but because of what friends and family say you don't make a move.

There's also fear of rejection. That's huge.
Original post by MylittlePlusle
I think that's silly. Society has made males think that they have to always make the first move and things like that...


Correct, that society thinks this is the norm. Whether this is fair or not is something else.

It depends on the type of relationship you have and the type of people involved. For example, with regards to paying on a date. Some guys would love to pay and sees it as the polite chivalrous thing to do, other guys would rather go half to "see" if the girl would pay, but then wouldn't mind paying themselves. Some girls expect to be paid for, other girls (some of whom I know) would take offence if a guy thought they couldn't pay and suggested the 1950's style wife. Girls would want everything equal and some girls who would love to look after their husbands....me personally, I'm a bit of both, I would go to work and come back home and if I have time, would love to cook dinner for my husband. In turn he can take out the bins! I'm not one of those extreme feminist types, there's certain things I would like to do and certain things I would like him to do.

It literally depends on the people involved.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 13
Original post by EatAndRevise
That's a rather bold statement


I am 100% for female equality, I have a daughter and I want her to have the same opportunities and treatment as her brother.

However, I think initiating relationships is a test of a man's character, if he is not prepared to ask and risk rejection, I do not think he is worthy despite what other good qualities he has. A man needs to take risks if he is to get the most out of life, it might be a promotion or a bungee jump. Bravery might be associated with war but I would not want my daughter to be in a relationship with a coward and I would not want my son to be too scared to ask someone out he liked and respected.

Of course a woman can give hints and create a situation that facilitates initiation but the man really needs to step up and do the asking.
(edited 9 years ago)
Sure, women can also make the first move, as well as propose to a guy. But we all know that there certain traditions and societal norms that we are expected to continue to observe.

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