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Is it because i'm Chinese?

In honest opinion, I'm not here fishing for compliments or sympathy, this is a genuine problem that I'm having and some genuine advice would reassure me.
I'm a British born Chinese girl, 5'3 and I wouldn't say I was ugly but I'm definitely not pretty - just below average.
So having been living in the UK for all my life, I've always been a victim of racial bullying that was until I got into university. I think being called 'chinky' n all the **** has literally lowered my self esteem. And I've always felt ugly next to my friends whereby guys always choose them over me like being partners or such. i was always the one left with no partner until a friend's would feel sorry for me and be my partner. I've never really had a boyfriend, been asked out or even kissed. I've tried internet dating, but realistically, I findthey don't work out. I have penty of male friends but I always find myself friendzoned or they end up liking my friend's. I am a sociable person but its like guys never ask for my number or show any interest. I'm already 20 so I'm beginning to feel like there's something wrong with the way I look. I'm fashionable, don't wear tonns of makeup, play games, watch anime, smart. I'm currently studying a respectable degree, I drink n all that but I've literally got nothing and its making me feel like ill forever be alone.
There must be a reason why I'm getting no guys. I'm not desperate, its the fact that everyone around me can easily get someone...I've liked a few guys but they just don't return the feelings and I know it can't be forced.

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Plenty of guys like Oriental girls are long as you are not the complete book worm type who puts no effort into your appearance. The same can't be said about Oriental guys. :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
In honest opinion, I'm not here fishing for compliments or sympathy, this is a genuine problem that I'm having and some genuine advice would reassure me.
I'm a British born Chinese girl, 5'3 and I wouldn't say I was ugly but I'm definitely not pretty - just below average.
So having been living in the UK for all my life, I've always been a victim of racial bullying that was until I got into university. I think being called 'chinky' n all the **** has literally lowered my self esteem. And I've always felt ugly next to my friends whereby guys always choose them over me like being partners or such. i was always the one left with no partner until a friend's would feel sorry for me and be my partner. I've never really had a boyfriend, been asked out or even kissed. I've tried internet dating, but realistically, I findthey don't work out. I have penty of male friends but I always find myself friendzoned or they end up liking my friend's. I am a sociable person but its like guys never ask for my number or show any interest. I'm already 20 so I'm beginning to feel like there's something wrong with the way I look. I'm fashionable, don't wear tonns of makeup, play games, watch anime, smart. I'm currently studying a respectable degree, I drink n all that but I've literally got nothing and its making me feel like ill forever be alone.
There must be a reason why I'm getting no guys. I'm not desperate, its the fact that everyone around me can easily get someone...I've liked a few guys but they just don't return the feelings and I know it can't be forced.


That is disgusting, sorry to hear about that :frown: Racial bullying is illegal, so do report it if it happens again as people shouldn't be able to get away with calling others words like that! They are scumbags, forget about them.

Is your social life going OK? How many friends/acquaintances etc. do you have at uni?

How do you style yourself/your hair/dress if you don't mind me asking? :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
In honest opinion, I'm not here fishing for compliments or sympathy, this is a genuine problem that I'm having and some genuine advice would reassure me.
I'm a British born Chinese girl, 5'3 and I wouldn't say I was ugly but I'm definitely not pretty - just below average.
So having been living in the UK for all my life, I've always been a victim of racial bullying that was until I got into university. I think being called 'chinky' n all the **** has literally lowered my self esteem. And I've always felt ugly next to my friends whereby guys always choose them over me like being partners or such. i was always the one left with no partner until a friend's would feel sorry for me and be my partner. I've never really had a boyfriend, been asked out or even kissed. I've tried internet dating, but realistically, I findthey don't work out. I have penty of male friends but I always find myself friendzoned or they end up liking my friend's. I am a sociable person but its like guys never ask for my number or show any interest. I'm already 20 so I'm beginning to feel like there's something wrong with the way I look. I'm fashionable, don't wear tonns of makeup, play games, watch anime, smart. I'm currently studying a respectable degree, I drink n all that but I've literally got nothing and its making me feel like ill forever be alone.
There must be a reason why I'm getting no guys. I'm not desperate, its the fact that everyone around me can easily get someone...I've liked a few guys but they just don't return the feelings and I know it can't be forced.

You sound very like one of my best friends from uni! I always liked her and found out that she liked me too. The reason we never started it was because I've always been worried about relationships. Especially when she's on my course! And eveybody knows that you don't crap where you eat! Not really advice, just a comment to tell you not to worry! Especially if you're putting yourself out there! You're only 20! That stuff can wait!

-Leo
Hi, I'm 22 yr old Indian guy and I've pretty much been through exactly what you just described so I know how you feel lol and how I changed it and am still trying to change things. I don't have time to write loads here at the moment because I need to go out but if you want someone to chat to properly then feel free to drop me a PM :smile:
Reply 5
My sister is Chinese and has had loads of white bfs, in fact, I used to see her every few months and there would be a different one each time, it was hard remembering their names.

Shes not even that good looking so why men are attracted to her is a mystery.
I don't think so, I like Chinese girls, and I think a lot of English guys do. I've tried it on with Chinese girls, and usually the girls seem intimidated, or a Chinese guy appears and cockblocks. To be fair though, I think most of these girls have been students from China, not British born Chinese.

Lots of people feel like you do, whatever their race. One mega simple thing I always say to girls in this situation is to smile, girls are ten times more approachable when they are smiling, you don't feel like you're risking a harsh rejection.
Reply 7
I honestly don't know if this counts as advice in any way, but I hope it helps at least slightly. My ex-girlfriend was Chinese, and she was great. One thing I found interesting after meeting her Chinese friends as well was that although she and most of her friends were British-born, like yourself, there were still some cultural differences which I honestly enjoyed.

I never went out looking for a Chinese girlfriend, since it never really crossed my mind as an option, but neither did I have to think twice about it when I met her since at the end of the day that's not what it boils down to.

I don't mean to offend anybody here, but she was much more loving, caring and fun than my British girlfriends. Maybe I hadn't picked right previously, but that's a different story altogether. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that some people are clearly closed minded when it comes to dating folks from different countries on that basis alone. That's beyond doubt and while it might seem unfair, they do have the freedom to make that choice. But don't think that purely because the group you hang around with at the moment might not be open to the idea of dating a Chinese girl that it's in any way a reflection of where your family comes from or your personality or looks or anything at all for that matter.

I'm not sure if this makes much sense, hopefully it does.

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Reply 8
Original post by Mr Smurf
Plenty of guys like Oriental girls are long as you are not the complete book worm type who puts no effort into your appearance. The same can't be said about Oriental guys. :frown:


It just concerns me that noone has actually approached me even though I'm always smiling and being nice. They're all looking at my friends who are white. I'm not a book worm, although I do study but I still party a lot. It could be my appearance. :/
Oriental guys are actually hard to approach in the UK. I'd prefebly prefer an oriental guy just to suit my parents likings but they're not as open.I'm in uni, i tried to talk to one but they're like really shy maybe its the lack of English that makes them like that. Or sometimes when I walk past a group of them, they'd just stare and I get intimidated.
Does your family approve of you dating a non Chinese boyfriend?
Original post by SallyTheKid
That is disgusting, sorry to hear about that :frown: Racial bullying is illegal, so do report it if it happens again as people shouldn't be able to get away with calling others words like that! They are scumbags, forget about them.

Is your social life going OK? How many friends/acquaintances etc. do you have at uni?

How do you style yourself/your hair/dress if you don't mind me asking? :smile:


Aww you cutie. Yeah, I literally have to pretend it doesn't bother me but it hurts. I haven't heard any racial comments in uni thankfully.

My social life is great. I literally try to talk to everyone. I'm in 2 societies and they're all friendly n all but majority of the guys I like usually have a gf. Not to be cocky or anything but I am quite popular on my course because I'm friends with nearly half the people on my course which has 140 students. I'm known to be friendly so I don't see where I'm going wrong.

My hair is black, long. I usually just leave it down and add a bit of volume to it. Makeup wise, I use bbcream, eyeliner, mascara, blush but I keep it all natural. My dress sense is more cutesy/sophisticated. So I like wearing cute skirts, matching it with cute blouses. Or wear dresses with tights. Ive actually changed a lot since high school. I think maybe its my looks that's letting me down tbh :/
Original post by guppygould
You sound very like one of my best friends from uni! I always liked her and found out that she liked me too. The reason we never started it was because I've always been worried about relationships. Especially when she's on my course! And eveybody knows that you don't crap where you eat! Not really advice, just a comment to tell you not to worry! Especially if you're putting yourself out there! You're only 20! That stuff can wait!

-Leo


Aww that's sweet. Thank you so much. I think all I can do tbh is just wait out for when my time comes.
I wish you all the best for your relationships! :biggrin:
Original post by Anonymous
Aww you cutie. Yeah, I literally have to pretend it doesn't bother me but it hurts. I haven't heard any racial comments in uni thankfully.

My social life is great. I literally try to talk to everyone. I'm in 2 societies and they're all friendly n all but majority of the guys I like usually have a gf. Not to be cocky or anything but I am quite popular on my course because I'm friends with nearly half the people on my course which has 140 students. I'm known to be friendly so I don't see where I'm going wrong.

My hair is black, long. I usually just leave it down and add a bit of volume to it. Makeup wise, I use bbcream, eyeliner, mascara, blush but I keep it all natural. My dress sense is more cutesy/sophisticated. So I like wearing cute skirts, matching it with cute blouses. Or wear dresses with tights. Ive actually changed a lot since high school. I think maybe its my looks that's letting me down tbh :/



we need a photo.
Original post by Anonymous
Aww you cutie. Yeah, I literally have to pretend it doesn't bother me but it hurts. I haven't heard any racial comments in uni thankfully.

My social life is great. I literally try to talk to everyone. I'm in 2 societies and they're all friendly n all but majority of the guys I like usually have a gf. Not to be cocky or anything but I am quite popular on my course because I'm friends with nearly half the people on my course which has 140 students. I'm known to be friendly so I don't see where I'm going wrong.

My hair is black, long. I usually just leave it down and add a bit of volume to it. Makeup wise, I use bbcream, eyeliner, mascara, blush but I keep it all natural. My dress sense is more cutesy/sophisticated. So I like wearing cute skirts, matching it with cute blouses. Or wear dresses with tights. Ive actually changed a lot since high school. I think maybe its my looks that's letting me down tbh :/


Yw, and thank you :smile: Your fashion sense and stuff sounds fine TBH. Your social life does too, although you could try joining clubs/societies you're interested in? (this is a really great way to meet guys and just make new friends in general).

I can't really see where you're going wrong, maybe try taking the initiative a bit more though if you do like someone? Do you know anyone who's single right now and whom you fancy? :tongue:
You do realise in the UK, tons of white guys, black guys and pretty much every race have a fetish for East Asian girls?
I have spoken to many guys and a lot of them have that fetish.

You are in the advantage. When you compare it to East asian men, they are at the bottom when it comes to attraction for females but for men, East asian girls are at the top.

Deny it all you want, a guy will give an East asian girl most of the time, a second look.
With East asian guys, most girls don't even look twice.
I have tons of East asian friends and trust me, this happens ;D.

Also you have East asian girls that don't date East asian guys, met quite a few at Uni.

My advice is, show them that you are interested and not try to be "friends".
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Mankytoes
I don't think so, I like Chinese girls, and I think a lot of English guys do. I've tried it on with Chinese girls, and usually the girls seem intimidated, or a Chinese guy appears and cockblocks. To be fair though, I think most of these girls have been students from China, not British born Chinese.

Lots of people feel like you do, whatever their race. One mega simple thing I always say to girls in this situation is to smile, girls are ten times more approachable when they are smiling, you don't feel like you're risking a harsh rejection.


Haha! Thanks for the advice :smile:
Trust me, international Chinese girls crave for British boys. LOL @ the cockblocking thing. I find it hard approaching Chinese guys cuz they're always in their own crew n when you approach them, your not really just talking to that one person, but the whole crew. I get intimidated :/
I feel ya...
Original post by imtelling
Does your family approve of you dating a non Chinese boyfriend?


They don't really mind tbh. If anything, they kind of tease me that I'll be husband-less when I'm older. I don't mind the race, im quite open about this sorta thing just aslong as I get along with that person. Looks just need to be average for me.
About the photo...its anonymous for a reason. Plus in a lil wary of posting photos on the internet. But I can pm it you so long as you give an honest opinion :/
Reply 18
Not at all :smile: I'm a black girl and according to every website and forum I am 'undesirable' and despite that I have white guys approach me alot.

You'll be fine :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
They don't really mind tbh. If anything, they kind of tease me that I'll be husband-less when I'm older. I don't mind the race, im quite open about this sorta thing just aslong as I get along with that person. Looks just need to be average for me.
About the photo...its anonymous for a reason. Plus in a lil wary of posting photos on the internet. But I can pm it you so long as you give an honest opinion :/


I wouldn't PM him your photo, he's posted a few questionable/borderline racist things before. :s-smilie:

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