Men live in fear of teenage girls flirting with them

Encouraging teenage girls to flirt with older men isn’t just dangerous for them – it can destroy men’s lives too, says Martin Daubney

There was a predictable feminist backflash on Twitter yesterday when Tatler magazine published flirting advice for 13-year-old girls to cynically deploy on unwitting middle-aged men.

These “utterly irresponsible” and even “borderline criminal” teen tips encouraged pubescent girls to “flirt with friend’s dads” in return for life’s essentials, such as “s****y” holidays to St Tropez, or invites to “country weekends”.

Naturally, these bizarre, almost otherworldly, “social seduction techniques” were universally decried as “potentially dangerous” for young women.

But, tellingly, absolutely nobody spoke up about what it might mean for the men on the receiving end.

Sadly, we live in an age where the rabid, paedophilic paranoia surrounding Operation Yewtree stalks our land in a way that's reminiscent of how McCarthyism hunted out reds under the beds in 1950s Cold War USA.

I’ve written for the Telegraph before about how almost every aspect of the man-child interface has been blighted by the seeming omnipresence of paedophilia. And with every Jimmy Savile or Rolf Harris front-page expose, it’s getting worse.

That’s because, in today’s Britain, if a man is accused of being a kiddy fiddler he’s guilty until proven innocent, and even if he’s subsequently acquitted, the old “there’s no smoke with fire” rule applies.

A tiny minority of men are grotesque sexual predators who deserve to be jailed for a very long time. But the overwhelming majority – the rest of us – are not.

Yet men who work around teenage girls – and particularly teachers – live in constant terror of paedophilic allegations. For some, it can feel as if their lives are viewed through a constant prism of suspicion.

Research by Nottingham Trent and Bedfordshire Universities found that female primary school teachers still dramatically outnumber men, with fears that men will be falsely labelled as paedophiles hampering male recruitment.

I’ve spoken with many male teachers whose reputations and lives have been destroyed by pictures posted on social media by teenage girls who have deliberately set out to entrap them into looking like a “paedo”.

“Teacher trolling” is now a national pastime and some pubescent girls see capturing incriminating photos of “pervy” male teachers as a sport.

If captioned appropriately, a playground photo of a stray glance or innocent gesture can be disastrous. Posted to social media (or even used to blackmail), a compulsory suspension pending a full investigation is likely to ensue. In today’s schools, increasingly we are seeing that the power is with the pupils.

For this reason, we’re also seeing record low numbers of men applying to be primary school teachers – and record numbers leaving the secondary school profession altogether.

As a consequence – exacerbated by the rocketing numbers of single parent families that yesterday the Centre for Social Justice predicts will soar to 2 million by 2015 – we are witnessing an ever-expanding vacuum of strong male role models in young people’s lives.

The inexorable truth is that today’s teenage girls – and boys – are overtly sexualised way ahead of the legal age of consent, thanks mainly to the porn-seeped, Twitter-barraged cyberworld they live in.

We can moan about that all we like. But the genie is long out of the bottle.

Now, it’s what we teach youngsters to do with their sexuality that counts.

As well as relaying vital messages about their own safety, we need to add this: encouraging hormonal 13-year-old girls to flirt with older men isn’t just dangerous for them – it can destroy men’s lives, too.

It was interesting, and ultimately depressing that, amid the frenzied Teen Tatler-bashing yesterday, not a single female voice spoke out with that much-needed message. Perhaps the feminist assumption would be: "how dare these washed-up dads complain about the amorous advances of nubile, pubescent, sexually manipulative young girls? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, these fat, balding, washed-up losers are probably asking for it, right?"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/thinking-man/10967972/Men-live-in-fear-of-teenage-girls-flirting-with-them.html

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BUMP

There are times when I feel sorry for a man.

Just like you saw in Waterloo Road when Jess was at the nightclub and the teacher picked her up thinking she was 18. She had come on to him but didn't say her age. Things like that have happened in real life.

At my school a 23 year old male was a teacher and had a relationship with an 18 year old sixth former. He was forced to resignn but I felt sorry for him. He was a great teacher and it's only a 5 year difference. It's just the position he was in at the time. She happened to come onto him to.

It's unreasonable to expect the man to hold off a girl sometimes. Sometimes girls come on strongly and we know exactly what to do to get to a man's head.

BUMP

Interesting article.

I agree with you completely,I don't know how many times at school my friends have talked about how they are going to get a male teacher's attention through flirting. It's actually quite frightening, especially on school trips to swimming pools were they wear the skimpiest bikini,s ever.

Reply 6

the_lost_boy

I don't even want to think about girls this young having thoughts like that. This is so sad.

Reply 7

SophiaLDN

OP I totally agree with you.

I guess the uproar and 'guilty before proven innocent' in regards to those cases are because paedophilia is such a horrendous crime. I'm certain the response would be the same had Jimmy Savile/ Rolf Harris been a woman.

Original post by Madeline_H95

At my school a 23 year old male was a teacher and had a relationship with an 18 year old sixth former. He was forced to resignn but I felt sorry for him. He was a great teacher and it's only a 5 year difference. It's just the position he was in at the time. She happened to come onto him to.

It's unreasonable to expect the man to hold off a girl sometimes. Sometimes girls come on strongly and we know exactly what to do to get to a man's head.

You what? Now you're putting the blame on the girls. The teacher is in a position of trust. If he wanted to date her he should have quit his job before hand.

No, what's unreasonable is to think that a man cant control himself.

Reply 8

thatswhy

Solid post. This is why I stay away from anyone that is remotely jail bait

Reply 9

NathanW18

This is why I can't understand why any men would want to teach. You're directly in the firing line and if you're accused of anything, you're probably screwed. It's just not worth it. You're only really 'safe' as a lecturer at uni.

Of course none of the feminists spoke out about this message. It's not on their agenda.

Reply 10

MiddleUnderclass

Another reason why a Sharia Britain is the way forward. Only a total separation of men and women in public life will set us free and create a far more safer, cleaner professional environment.

Reply 11

rtj1211

I guess there is the case for single sex schools for a minority - ti's certainly one way where men could teach boys without the risk of what you describe. Presumably a minority of paedophiles might see that as a good place to teach?? One solution of course is to hire seriously promiscuous, highly attractive young males who can discuss in intimate detail how many women they have slept with in the past 3 years, since it would be most strange that they would be eyeing up 13 year olds if they were rogering themselves senseless with 24 year olds, wouldn't it?? The ones more likely to be targeted are those less successful with women, more shy, introverted etc. It doesn't mean they are gay, it doesn't mean they are paedophiles, it just means they haven't experienced success in relationships so much. For them, maybe teaching in single sex schools would be easier?? At least until they have become more successful in the adult relationship world??

Reply 12

DiddyDec01

Original post by MiddleUnderclass

Another reason why a Sharia Britain is the way forward. Only a total separation of men and women in public life will set us free and create a far more safer, cleaner professional environment.

Nope. If you want Sharia Laws in place, go to a Muslim country. I have heard they are lovely and hot.

Reply 13

Clip

Original post by MiddleUnderclass

Another reason why a Sharia Britain is the way forward. Only a total separation of men and women in public life will set us free and create a far more safer, cleaner professional environment.

Yes. When all else fails, start stoning people. Genius.

Reply 14

username1331498

Original post by MiddleUnderclass

Another reason why a Sharia Britain is the way forward. Only a total separation of men and women in public life will set us free and create a far more safer, cleaner professional environment.

Keep dreaming, if you want a country under Muslim influence, then go to the Middle-East.

Reply 15

dead101

Why should separation be necessary for a minority of cases?
You also get boys flirting with female teachers and all teachers have to do is report it - if they were doing nothing wrong then they wouldn't have a problem going to the head or whatever and saying it's making them uncomfortable.

The article you spoke about does seem very strange though I wouldn't let my teenage daughter read that if I ever saw it haha... Who even thought that was a good idea?

And men being accused of things they didn't do doesn't ruin their lives for ever it happened to my friend and he's doing quite well in life now, nobody even thinks about it now. I know it can but it doesn't always which is what some people try to make out.

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Reply 16

Antifazian

Men are not slaves to their sexual urges, they always have the option to say no.

Reply 17

Autistic Merit

Original post by Antifazian

Men are not slaves to their sexual urges, they always have the option to say no.

But sometimes a male teacher has done nothing wrong and their reputation is still ruined.

I agree wholeheartedly with the article as a male secondary school teacher who has to put up with a lot of **** from teenage girls and with this **** in particular being a major issue. Thankfully, I work at a good school who is able to discern, on the most part, genuine student complaints from the fake ones.

Reply 18

Clip

On point, there is a lot that TSR could learn from Tatler.

All the girls here who can't get jobs, or are moaning about the ones that they do have, or are terrified of Fresher's Week would do well to actually read something like Tatler, and perhaps understand why it is that they are on the losing side - bluntly because many have been indoctrinated by an anti-social arrogance that precludes anything other than formulaic educational achievement.

Reply 19

Autistic Merit

And on TSR alone I've received comments along the lines of "I wouldn't want you anywhere near my children" for the mere fact that I have made threads expressing concerns on teenage sexuality.