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Found out she has a boyfriend

A few months ago I started texting a girl who I met on my university's Facebook group. After only a couple days I'd realised I'd fallen for her quite badly. For the next month we texted almost every day, and as we got to know each other I only liked her more and more. Loads in common, lot of stuff planned for when university starts, Skyped a couple times. Conversation was easy and frequent, unlike any other girl I'd ever met before, and there was even some light flirting (or what I thought might have been flirting). After I graduated, I flew out to a university meetup that she was attending. It was a pleasant day all in all, and it was nice to meet her. After that, I texted her a compliment calling her cute and left her alone for a week while she finished school. The next few weeks consisted of me trying to talk to her and her saying not much in reply. I figured she was just busy as usual, so the other day I sent her a longish message asking how she had been and what she'd been up to. A few days later, and there was no reply, so I sent her another message. To my happiness, she replied, but then I read what she wrote. She said that she was busy with work and friends, which I had guessed; but also a boyfriend, who had never been heard of before. According to her Facebook, she is single. A few more messages later and I'm left feeling, from her tone, that she doesn't want to talk to me again at least until university starts. I feel so down about the whole thing, and the difference between how happy and confident I was when we were texting compared to now is depressing. It would seem that there is nothing I can do but wait for university to start and try and talk to her there. At this point, I don't even care if she doesn't like me back or if it would never have worked out, I just want to stay close friends.

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I've been talking this girl on a "forum" for months, I eventually skyped with her, cure my disappointment and annoyance when she wasn't as pretty as she was coming off. :/

Watch out!
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by fnatic NateDestiel
I've been talking this girl on a "forum" for months, I eventually skyped with her, cure my disappointment and annoyance when she wasn't as pretty as she was coming off. :/

Be careful is what I am trying to tell you.

Um, what? I met her in real life already. She's as cute in real life as she looks in pictures.
Original post by Anonymous
Um, what? I met her in real life already. She's as cute in real life as she looks in pictures.


Are you as cute as you are making out?

Also there is a fine line between being cute, being pretty and being hot :yep:

There are about 1000 threads with the same question you are initiating here..
Reply 4
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by fnatic NateDestiel
Are you as cute as you are making out?

Also there is a fine line between being cute, being pretty and being hot :yep:

There are about 1000 threads with the same question you are initiating here..

What? This is completely off topic. Did you even read my OP?
Reply 5
Avatar for ldsbabe
ldsbabe
15
Original post by fnatic NateDestiel
I've been talking this girl on a "forum" for months, I eventually skyped with her, cure my disappointment and annoyance when she wasn't as pretty as she was coming off. :/

Be careful is what I am trying to tell you.


How annoying are you??
Original post by Anonymous
What? This is completely off topic. Did you even read my OP?


Yes I read and no its not.

If you bothered to search this is the search facility there is already enough advice.

Also just putting MY opinion out there, being intent on her facebook comes off as stalkerish?

I don't know what you are expecting people to tell you, go and facebook her telling her you love her - or ring her up. jeezman..
Reply 7
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by fnatic NateDestiel
Yes I read and no its not.

If you bothered to search this is the search facility there is already enough advice.

Also just putting MY opinion out there, being intent on her facebook comes off as stalkerish?

I don't know what you are expecting people to tell you, go and facebook her telling her you love her - or ring her up. jeezman..

You clearly didn't. All I'm asking for is some advice on how to feel and what to do.
Same thing happened to me when I started university. Hot Girls often lead you up the garden path. They should announce early they have a boyfriend if it's obvious the way you see things. By the sounds of it she was reciprocating as well. Stupid girl.

Don't bother staying friends. Girlfriend or no friend, just end all contact with her. You'll be better for it. I'd rather be in a conflict zone than the Friend zone.
Original post by Anonymous
You clearly didn't. All I'm asking for is some advice on how to feel and what to do.


Don't you have any university work to be doing?

Original post by Eboracum
Same thing happened to me when I started university. Hot Girls often lead you up the garden path. They should announce early they have a boyfriend if it's obvious the way you see things. By the sounds of it she was reciprocating as well. Stupid girl.

Don't bother staying friends. Girlfriend or no friend, just end all contact with her. You'll be better for it. I'd rather be in a conflict zone than the Friend zone.


This guy has got it right.

And how.
I'm sorry, buddy. She doesn't seem interested in you now. Probably best to just move on.
Original post by Eboracum
Same thing happened to me when I started university. Hot Girls often lead you up the garden path. They should announce early they have a boyfriend if it's obvious the way you see things. By the sounds of it she was reciprocating as well. Stupid girl.

Don't bother staying friends. Girlfriend or no friend, just end all contact with her. You'll be better for it. I'd rather be in a conflict zone than the Friend zone.

I tried to make it not obvious, so despite the subtle flirting the topic never came up. That's why it was such a shock.
I would much rather have her as a friend than be a stranger.
Original post by Dima-Blackburn
I'm sorry, buddy. She doesn't seem interested in you now. Probably best to just move on.

I don't know if there was ever any interest. We talked about things to do and places to go together plenty, but it never came up that it would be as anything more than friends and I was fine with that because it still meant spending time with her.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know if there was ever any interest. We talked about things to do and places to go together plenty, but it never came up that it would be as anything more than friends and I was fine with that because it still meant spending time with her.


Hmm...so you like being in the friendzone?
Original post by Dima-Blackburn
Hmm...so you like being in the friendzone?

Maybe its because I've never been in a relationship before but I'm not desperate for one, it it happens it happens. If their company's nice then I wish to keep it.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know if there was ever any interest. We talked about things to do and places to go together plenty, but it never came up that it would be as anything more than friends and I was fine with that because it still meant spending time with her.


Jesus. We all (or at least most of us) know how this feels, and we sympathise. But really, you haven't fallen for her. Messaging that much is poisonous. It so readily leads to one or both parties feeling like it's more than what it is. Relationships can begin online, yes, but it's so much better for it to start in person. Real talking.

She clearly doesn't want that with you, and your 'close friends' line is such a friendzone cliché that I can't be the only one thinking you're a troll (do not respond to assure me you're not). Close friendship doesn't work when one likes the other more.

End communication with her. If you see her at uni, say hi, but get drawn into nothing else.


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How long has she been with her bf? It may even be a recent thing, which is why you didn't hear about him before?
Original post by stargirl63
How long has she been with her bf? It may even be a recent thing, which is why you didn't hear about him before?

I suppose that's possible, but why start a relationship the summer before moving to a different country for university?
Original post by Anonymous
I suppose that's possible, but why start a relationship the summer before moving to a different country for university?


I don't know. It was just a possibility. You don't know their dynamics.
Internet communications do seem to mess with people's emotions somehow. "Falling" for someone you never met does seem a bit strange but it happens a lot. Transitioning that to real life is very tricky. Less Skype and early meetings are the way forward. If it is a no go then move on. The "bf" from nowhere sounds like an excuse to me. Sorry.

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