What's wrong with my head

I don't know where exactly this belongs, but I'm pretty sure it's to do with my mental welfare so I'll put it here. There is a problem with me and foreign things. Obviously I'm fine with foreign people, but even thinking about foreign places makes me feel weird or uncomfortable. I'm going on holiday with my family to Cyprus, and I am absolutely dreading it. Just thinking about the design of their buildings, the types of plants they have and the weather there just makes me feel so uncomfortable. I don't want to ruin the holiday, but it's two weeks long and I genuinely don't know if I'll last the entire time.  I've found that it's not even foreign places, sometimes just certain situations in my own country make me feel the same way - and when I say certain, I mean really, really specific things. Like yellow bricks, housing estates, streetlamps, and gardens. It kinda ruins things sometimes, because I just cannot feel comfortable when presented with these things. And in the build up towards the holiday, I have actually been having nightmares about being abroad, and I feel a bit scared when thinking about when I am actually going to be in another country. I suppose it could be that I've grown accustomed to certain conditions - clouds, rain, and a specific city environment...But then, I've been on holiday to Spain, Italy, France, Poland, etc when I was younger, and this feeling has only been getting more serious since then.  I have always gotten homesick when away from home though, not just for my family but for the house itself, I love it so much. So I can't do sleepovers. Could you imagine ever having a party with me? Not super fun. It also means it's been a nightmare trying to get a job. I really need the money, I know I do, but everywhere makes me feel too weird except for like two shops which aren't even hiring. It's really embarrassing. My friends are all getting jobs, and I can't explain to them why it's so difficult for me. I've looked at Xenophobia, and the one kind sounds about right (The cultural part, definitely not the foreign people part) but I really, REALLY don't want to be Xenophobic. There's so much hate about it, and I don't want to be a part of that just because I get a seriously weird feeling in reaction to certain things. I do want to know if it's an actual thing that other people experience, if not to help people around me to understand then at least to tell myself that I'm not crazy. Anyone know what else it could be? Thank you.

Reply 1

Ribbits

Hm.
Elements of what you've said remind me of my younger brother who has Asperger's Syndrome. I have only a laymans understanding of autism and it is different in every individual, but having highly specific interests and situations where they are comfortable can be a part of it. My brother found specific things made him really uncomfortable, like black and white films. He seemed to get better and find fewer things uncomfortable as he got older though. Also a big part of autism is social difficulty and as I say I'm no expert, what you have may be unrelated I just recognised the sound of your experience.

It is having a significant impact on your life and limiting you in what you want to do, so it is something you should take seriously. It might be a relatively little known or understood disorder - I didn't believe or realise Misophonia was a real thing, I thought it was just the way I was and I would have to suffer with it, until I happened across it because my brother's friend mentioned it and he thought it sounded like me so he told me. Normally self-diagnosing is very ill advised but this is a relatively simple disorder distinctive in it's expression that affects me extremely and it is 100% that I have it (although I can see that some people who don't have it might misunderstand what it is and think they do too because everyone finds certain noises irritating). My doctor hasn't even heard of it yet though, because it is so newly discovered but luckily for me a promising treatment method has already been developed that I can follow myself at home with just an MP3 player and some sound recordings I tampered with.

So, you should definitely seek medical advice - don't be worried about wasting their time, it is symptomatic enough to be limiting your life. Your GP might refer you for psychological assessment if they understand the issue to be serious enough. They will either know what it could be, or they won't; but if they believe it is a psychological problem still whatever it is they might be able to offer you some treatments that have helped people with issues similar in nature such as phobias, which may or may not work. It is definitely worth doing but be warned the waiting lists are long and learning to live with disorders takes time, so it won't help for this holiday - just your life in general.

What's wrong with my head

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