I had a baby at 20 AMA!

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http://www.naturalhealth365.com/natural_childcare/mothers.html

but either way, proof isn't important to you here...

That's just an article that says older mother produces smart children.

Nothing about student parents in Mensa or Oxbridge.

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Reply 61

ChaoticButterfly

Original post by zippity.doodah

'kinda does...

Reply 62

tnetennba

Jesu some of these posts are so judgmental. Fifty years ago, 20 was the expected age for women to get married & have babies.

I personally could not see myself keeping a baby for at least 5 years from now. But you seem to have made the right decision for yourself in this situation, OP, so congratulations. From what you've posted, it sounds like you are happy :smile:

Question: Did you get noticeable stretchmarks? And have they faded since the birth?

Reply 63

Saralouise95

Original post by zippity.doodah

1) work *while on* welfare seemed like what you were implying...
2) she's not working either way so when this 20 something guy bails then she's going to become "that woman" who lives off of the backs of others because instead of getting qualifications when she could (e.g. 20~) she has to stay at home
3) if he's allowing this girl to have a child with him at 20 he can't be the sharpest tool in the shed

Pretty sure she said she was working part time whilst studying? She's also about to undertake a nursing degree where any student achieves help money wise and when qualified will have a steady, respected career. Is there really a certain age people have to get qualifications? Not everyone wants to go to uni at 20 and not everybody wants to go to uni full stop. If anything if you're not sure on a career path then its better to wait and matute and realise what you'd like to do. Having a child at 20 is not necessarily a stupid thing to do. It takes all sorts of people to make the world go round. Stop being such a judgemental ********.

To the OP, its nice to see somebody with their head screwed on properly and raising a child! I admire you for going to university whilst raising your daughter. I'm starting a nursing degree in September too, what branch and university? :smile:

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Reply 64

vickidc18

Original post by Wilsoncw1997

Are you planning to have another one?

Yes I love being a mum it's expensive so I'd only have 2 or 3

Original post by chukster97

How does it feel spending the best years of your life that you won't get back raising kids?

I don't see it like that, I'm not interested in clubbing or doing the "studenty life" I love being settled having my own little family, society tells me I shouldn't want to be a parent until I'm mid 30's or 40 because it's wasting my life no it isn't my life was rubbish before I had my daughter she's given me patience, love and an unbreakable bond, that no money or nights out could give me

Original post by ChaoticButterfly

Wow O.o

I guess that was stressful :tongue:

What made you decide to have the baby rather than terminate the pregnancy? (that seems like a harsh question now it is a tiny person :s-smilie:

)

I can't even comprehend the thought of being a parent right now.

Also do you ever get idiots judging you for being a young (by modern western standards) parent?

Yes I did think about termination but I watched the film "What to expect when you're expecting" on the plane when I was around 7 weeks pregnant the girl miscarried & I felt terrible for her (I know it''s a film) I then googled 7 weeks pregnant and it had a timeline of pregnancy and I knew I couldnt do it.

Original post by donutaud15

Well no one asked you. :rolleyes:

OP did you have pain relief during labour?
No nothing I didn't even try Gas & Air which I'm annoyed about!

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Original post by zippity.doodah

why would you ruin your life like that

Like I said It hasn't ruined my life it's made it 10x better

Original post by Amphiprion

Hows your vagina? Serious question :colonhash:

Just curious how a younger womans hoo hah deals with it.

I'm a year post partum now and everything is normal , I had stitches which hurt a bit but it's fine now I had sex 6 weeks post partum you might think having a baby changes things down there but its the same! I don't know if it's my age or w/e

Original post by zippity.doodah

My fiance turned 27 yesterday, has a masters in Maths from a Russell group university he's a senior data analyst earning 40k and we have a small mortgage of £380 a month we are lucky to be in a good position & I can further my education, I only receive child benefit of £20 per week which every couple with children receives.

Reply 65

donutaud15

Original post by vickidc18

Yes I love being a mum it's expensive so I'd only have 2 or 3

I don't see it like that, I'm not interested in clubbing or doing the "studenty life" I love being settled having my own little family, society tells me I shouldn't want to be a parent until I'm mid 30's or 40 because it's wasting my life no it isn't my life was rubbish before I had my daughter she's given me patience, love and an unbreakable bond, that no money or nights out could give me

Yes I did think about termination but I watched the film "What to expect when you're expecting" on the plane when I was around 7 weeks pregnant the girl miscarried & I felt terrible for her (I know it''s a film) I then googled 7 weeks pregnant and it had a timeline of pregnancy and I knew I couldnt do it.

Like I said It hasn't ruined my life it's made it 10x better

I'm a year post partum now and everything is normal , I had stitches which hurt a bit but it's fine now I had sex 6 weeks post partum you might think having a baby changes things down there but its the same! I don't know if it's my age or w/e

My fiance turned 27 yesterday, has a masters in Maths from a Russell group university he's a senior data analyst earning 40k and we have a small mortgage of £380 a month we are lucky to be in a good position & I can further my education, I only receive child benefit of £20 per week which every couple with children receives.

Gosh you're brave!! Don't think I can go through labour without pain relief?

Any advice to new parents?

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Reply 66

vickidc18

Original post by donutaud15

Gosh you're brave!! Don't think I can go through labour without pain relief?

Any advice to new parents?

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I was lucky most of my friends had forceps or a c section but I found labour quite a liberating process your whole body takes over I had been having contractions for 48 hours & I was feeling really tired towards the end but my birth partners were really supportive encouraging me and I forgot to ask for pain relief.

The only advice I can give is don't worry it does get easier, you learn as you go & don't be afraid to ask partner or grandparents for a break if you are feeling tired.

Reply 67

MylittlePlusle

Original post by ExMus

Everything living is sexual for God's sake.

Original post by ldsbabe

YouTube "natural birth" and tell me how sexy it is.

If something's got nothing to do with reproduction it's not sexual.

Birth isn't "sexy" to me, to others it may be though.

Reply 68

vickidc18

Original post by MylittlePlusle

If something's got nothing to do with reproduction it's not sexual.

Birth isn't "sexy" to me, to others it may be though.

Never heard of anyone getting turned on by one born every minute.

Reply 69

MylittlePlusle

Original post by vickidc18

Never heard of anyone getting turned on by one born every minute.

Yes, some people are into strange things.

Reply 70

donutaud15

Original post by vickidc18

Useful advice!

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Reply 71

zippity.doodah

Original post by wiccan2

That's just an article that says older mother produces smart children.

Nothing about student parents in Mensa or Oxbridge.

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it's called genes

Reply 72

210047

Original post by zippity.doodah

it's called genes

But you don't really have a proof. Just speculation.

To be honest I think you're just deliberately antagonising everyone.

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Reply 73

Gherk

How did you afford a house at the age of 20?

Reply 74

vickidc18

Original post by Gherk

How did you afford a house at the age of 20?

We saved for a deposit for 18 months and practically lived on nothing apart from the essentials.

Reply 75

username1039383

How old are you and your baby girl? :smile:

Reply 76

anonymouspie227

This is very interesting. I think it's pretty brave to create this thread.

I guess it's important to realise that different people have different plans in life and aspire to have different things.

I personally love babies and children, however i wouldn't want one at 20, it would
distract me from my career aspirations and i want to have little commitment/dependants before i spend years working and eventually
raising a child.

That's my personal choice, as is OPs choice to have her baby.

My question is- did your partner want you to have the child?

Edit: Holysmoke I just read your other thread about your family and ohs family not wanting you to go to uni because of your baby. But surely having a mum who got an education, and doesn't rely on the dad is the best kind of role model? Also, it's not like your life should be on hold just because you had a baby.

Loads of mums I know managed to raise their children (on their own) and pursue a career and live!!

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 77

Jubz1

Original post by vickidc18

Girl

Yes have been for almost 4 years

Just bought our first home, yes & our families are very happy. I'm starting my nurse training in september.

Sounds like you have a nice 'set up', good luck!

Reply 78

TheTechN1304

Original post by Stinkum

Personally, I think 30/40 is too old to have children. Ideally, I'd like to start a family in my mid-to-late 20s. But, considering your situation and circumstances, I can understand why you wouldn't want children at an early age. It's a fair point that you've made there.

What planet do you live on? 30/40 is when most people nowadays are choosing to have children. The days of having children in your early 20s are pretty much over (other than in the 3rd world, and in the case of the OP). Why would you want to waste the young years of your life raising children? Also, people in their early 20s tend to be less established and financially unstable, and the child will most probably have a ****ty upbringing.