online sexual abuse

I was talking to this guy online, when i used to go to a chatroom to meet new people when i was feeling really alone.I usually dont trust people easily online.when i was seeking advice from people on the chatroom one guy was really nice and he gave me advice and stopped me worrying.i thought he was so sweet and was quite good looking.the next day i messaged him on the site again and just to say hi.he was really friendly again and i was just happy to have someone to talk to.over the days he yhen staryed to joke with me and i thought he was saying it to cheer me up.he then started to tell me how hot he thought i was, and i felt flattered.he then kept pushing the limit, he started asking me personal questions about how i look and u can guess whatother stuff.i was kinda shocked but i still told him as he kept on saying hot i was.evebtually he askes me to talk over webcam.i said yes even though i was quite shy.he just talked to me normally but seemed quitw lonely hinself and quite laid back.he was confident though and i just kwpt gling along with it.he thwn messaged me later telling mw what he wanted to do to me.i wasreally confused and didnt like it, if a guy said that to me in real life i would tell someone but i felt wmbarrassed telling anyone that i was talking on a chatroom.anyway it lead to me basically showing him myself online, and it became a regular thing, whenever i didnt do it he was really rude and acted like i was boring him.i ecentually camw to my senses and realise what i was doing for him was unfair as we not giving me any respect.i still feel like i havent got closure over it and still think about him daily wishing that he cares about me.worst thing is that im religous and have never ahown myself to anyone else.it makes me sick that hw acted thia way but i feel like i cant say anything to him because he doesnt care.i want to message him and say something about how disrespectful he was.i dont know whatto do.

Reply 1

Jo from AVA

Hi

Thank you for your post. I am really sorry to hear about what you experienced. It sounds like this guy was very clever at grooming you. By flattering you he made you feel like you wanted to talk to him more and then he was able to manipulate you into showing yourself to him. This is abusive and you are right he was absolutely not respecting you.
I am really glad that you do not talk to him any more. I understand your need to contact him and say how you feel, but I think it would be better for you not to have any more contact. He may try and manipulate you again, or may upset you further.
You are doing the right thing by talking about this and looking for support.
This is a really good site with lots of info about this and what to do. There are also some films that you may find useful:

https://www.thinkuknow.co.uk/14_plus/

I hear that you feel you need closure and you think about him and wished he cared, it may also be useful to have some counselling or talk to someone close to you about how you feel. Also think about how you will respond if anyone tries this again in the future.
I hope this helps.
take care
Jo

Reply 2

Jo from AVA

Try not to think about what he thinks of you. He was deliberately manipulative in order to get what he wanted. I doubt you are the only girl he has done this to unfortunately.
Please do not feel embarrassed. This was not your fault, have a look at the link I sent as i think it will help.
I understand about your family being religious and how they may react, although it is good to know you think they would be supportive. If you don't want to tell them maybe there is someone else or maybe the helpline i told you about?
You don't have to try to cope with this alone,
take care
jo

online sexual abuse

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