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bisexual guy at uni, unsure what to do about it

I've known I'm bisexual for quite a few years but only accepted the label of bisexual this past year at uni.
I've told no one, not family, school friends or uni friends.
I have no idea who I should tell first or how to go about it. Most of my close friends would accept it, I have no idea if they'd expect it. However, I play rugby and I doubt they'd be as accepting, I wouldn't be banned but the comments etc. during socials and on training would be hard to take.
As you can probably guess I've never done anything with a guy, I've wanted to many times especially when going out.
I'm not exactly sure why I made this thread but I just needed to get it off my chest.
Original post by Anonymous
I've known I'm bisexual for quite a few years but only accepted the label of bisexual this past year at uni.
I've told no one, not family, school friends or uni friends.
I have no idea who I should tell first or how to go about it. Most of my close friends would accept it, I have no idea if they'd expect it. However, I play rugby and I doubt they'd be as accepting, I wouldn't be banned but the comments etc. during socials and on training would be hard to take.
As you can probably guess I've never done anything with a guy, I've wanted to many times especially when going out.
I'm not exactly sure why I made this thread but I just needed to get it off my chest.

Personally, I have found that whilst it is difficult to accept your sexuality at first and difficult to be honest about it, over time you gain the confidence to be more open. If you find a guy, for example, and it becomes more serious it can give you a large amount of confidence to be proud of who you love. Bear in mind also that you are not obliged to divulge your sexuality. There is a bit of a trend in the UK with "coming out of the closet" You don't really need to focus so much on that. I came out publicly with my relationship with a guy recently, but for many years before that I saw my sexuality and what I did in my private life as exactly that: PRIVATE. For now, have fun, don't be afraid to take opportunities. Of course, be safe and use protection, that's a biggy, but enjoy yourself and don't be afraid. Should you be asked about it by the societies/groups you are a member of, you don't need to answer them. It really is not relevant to the game of rugby. Just don't waste your years at uni worrying about what people may say if they found you have slept with a guy or kissed etc. Uni is your time for new life experiences as well as the education side of things. Best of luck :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
I've known I'm bisexual for quite a few years but only accepted the label of bisexual this past year at uni.
I've told no one, not family, school friends or uni friends.
I have no idea who I should tell first or how to go about it. Most of my close friends would accept it, I have no idea if they'd expect it. However, I play rugby and I doubt they'd be as accepting, I wouldn't be banned but the comments etc. during socials and on training would be hard to take.
As you can probably guess I've never done anything with a guy, I've wanted to many times especially when going out.
I'm not exactly sure why I made this thread but I just needed to get it off my chest.

The main and most important part of all this in my opinion is that you do not need to worry about publicly telling everyone you are bisexual. I don't know if it is just me, but its a pet hate of mine that people should have to "out" themselves. A heterosexual does not need to shout out loud "I like vagina! I like vagina!", therefore neither should a gay or bisexual person have to shout the opposite. Just take opportunities you personally want to take, know your boundaries, and don't feel like you have to make a public announcement about your activities.
Reply 3
Original post by sphereix96
The main and most important part of all this in my opinion is that you do not need to worry about publicly telling everyone you are bisexual. I don't know if it is just me, but its a pet hate of mine that people should have to "out" themselves. A heterosexual does not need to shout out loud "I like vagina! I like vagina!", therefore neither should a gay or bisexual person have to shout the opposite. Just take opportunities you personally want to take, know your boundaries, and don't feel like you have to make a public announcement about your activities.


So you think I should stop thinking about hiding it from people and just see what happens. If I meet a guy I like I should go for it and tell people after, when I have more confidence.
No its not relevant to the game but the socials side of things is what I'm more worried about, they're not exactly the most progressive of types and alcohol doesn't make them more accepting.
But I think having accepted it and got through first year I'll see what happens next year. If something does happen with a guy (which I hope it does) I'll take reactions from there.
When you came out recently did some close friends know already?
Original post by Anonymous
So you think I should stop thinking about hiding it from people and just see what happens. If I meet a guy I like I should go for it and tell people after, when I have more confidence.
No its not relevant to the game but the socials side of things is what I'm more worried about, they're not exactly the most progressive of types and alcohol doesn't make them more accepting.
But I think having accepted it and got through first year I'll see what happens next year. If something does happen with a guy (which I hope it does) I'll take reactions from there.
When you came out recently did some close friends know already?

Essentially just do what makes you happy. You don't need to do anything with a guy and then run off and say to everyone "I did this this this and this" Just keep your private life to yourself (apart from close friends of course who you know will be ok with it and probably ask 6000 questions) and sooner or later when you find something serious confidence will come. Try not to worry about what others will be saying. Let them talk. And yes quite a few already knew from when I told them previously and distant friends/acquaintances pretty much already knew I think. I'm not camp in the slightest, but people always wondered I think. No abuse though or anything, not many people have said anything about it. I think most people just accept that it is what it is. You will inevitably have a few people against it who will pass judgement but few will be your peers or younger people so no worries. Just go with the flow and enjoy what is your private life.
I agree! :smile:
If you need any more advice you can PM me or talk to me on anything. I'm happy to help :biggrin: good luck!
Reply 7
Why would you tell anyone? If i were in the same study group, work group, social group as you, i certainly wouldnt want to know about your sexuality. Its personal/non of my business and why would i be even interested?

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