Steps to change my life? I'M READY!

Okay so a year ago today I was doing absolutely NOTHING with my life. No job, no money, no friends, no life.

Something inside me snapped and realized I needed to get things together so I got a job. It's **** but it pays me okay. Now I have a job and I go to the gym. I'm in the best shape I've ever been phsyically and mentally.

BUT, I don't have my social life sorted out. I need to make friendships. I'm buddies with a couple of guys at work, but there's no potential there for a deeper friendship (like seeing them outside of work) trust me on this, there isn't, so I need to look elsewhere.

The gym is pretty difficult to make friends in unless you join a class I guess. So....what are the best classes for friend making? OR, what are some cool ways to make friends outside of work if you work full time (30+ hours per week). Something on the weekend/evenings.

I'm trying to sort my social life out BEFORE I pursue getting into a relationship. I really want a relationship but logically, other stuff needs sorting before I look into online dating etc.

I feel like I've come a long way over the past year so now my next 12 month plan is a friendship group and a relationship - I know it sound so methodical but that the way I've got this far so feel I should keep it up.

Anyone have some advice on how to find friends in your twenties while working? I'm willing to give stuff a try!

Reply 1

The 4th Doctor

Original post by Anonymous

Okay so a year ago today I was doing absolutely NOTHING with my life. No job, no money, no friends, no life. Something inside me snapped and realized I needed to get things together so I got a job. It's **** but it pays me okay. Now I have a job and I go to the gym. I'm in the best shape I've ever been phsyically and mentally. BUT, I don't have my social life sorted out. I need to make friendships. I'm buddies with a couple of guys at work, but there's no potential there for a deeper friendship (like seeing them outside of work) trust me on this, there isn't, so I need to look elsewhere. The gym is pretty difficult to make friends in unless you join a class I guess. So....what are the best classes for friend making? OR, what are some cool ways to make friends outside of work if you work full time (30+ hours per week). Something on the weekend/evenings. I'm trying to sort my social life out BEFORE I pursue getting into a relationship. I really want a relationship but logically, other stuff needs sorting before I look into online dating etc. I feel like I've come a long way over the past year so now my next 12 month plan is a friendship group and a relationship - I know it sound so methodical but that the way I've got this far so feel I should keep it up. Anyone have some advice on how to find friends in your twenties while working? I'm willing to give stuff a try!

OMG this is so familiar...Are you of university age but not at university? And where abouts do you live? I lived in a very small town with an elderly population while doing a job and an OU course, so it was basically really difficult to make friends. I can suggest going out doing things by yourself is a good start, and this website might be useful. https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/ If you live somewhere small, I would DEFINITELY suggest moving or commuting to a big town or city. Keep an eye out for all kinds of social gatherings and events. Also expand your hobbies! Anything you've ever wanted to do, like a new sport or fandom, explore and find others, it's a great place to start.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by The 4th Doctor

Thanks man. Yeah, I finished uni last year and spent 12 months sitting about doing nothing..waiting for life to happen but now I'm chasing it. My friends all got jobs/went back to their home towns so I've just become friendless. I'm in a big city right now - I suppose there must be loads of people my age who are looking to socialize - it's just finding the right people who are gonna click with me and who I can click with. I think sports is the way forward for me personally, but I do like to kick back on my days off too - so maybe something low key and chilled out too.

Thanks for the link, I'll check that out. If you don't mind me asking - did you eventually make friends and how did you go about it?

Reply 3

The 4th Doctor

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks man. Yeah, I finished uni last year and spent 12 months sitting about doing nothing..waiting for life to happen but now I'm chasing it. My friends all got jobs/went back to their home towns so I've just become friendless. I'm in a big city right now - I suppose there must be loads of people my age who are looking to socialize - it's just finding the right people who are gonna click with me and who I can click with. I think sports is the way forward for me personally, but I do like to kick back on my days off too - so maybe something low key and chilled out too. Thanks for the link, I'll check that out. If you don't mind me asking - did you eventually make friends and how did you go about it?

Ah, I cheated slightly and went to uni. But if you've actually finished uni, there must be other people around in the same boat. My issue was that everyone I knew was at uni. Another useful link:http://www.meetup.com/ It's also tougher than it seems - if you're in the house you grew up in it's very difficult to motivate yourself to do things. Again, just try everything and anything possible in the area. You sound like you've got a much better chance of making a success of it than I had. PS what about friends from uni? Even if there are people you only half get along with, you can go out with those people and use them as a sort of springboard to meet new people.

Reply 4

democracyforum

Original post by Anonymous

join the army ?

Reply 5

arfah

Original post by democracyforum

join the army ?

I was gonna say that :colonhash:

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Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by democracyforum

join the army ?

To be honest I was genuinely considering that (or the RAF) but I have a real problem with authority figures and being told what to do. It's taken me a while just to get used to it in a pretty laid back civvy job so I think my personality would be a bad mix with military life. It's a shame since I love physical work and I'm focused/determined and hard working...I just have very little patience when people shout at me or speak to me in certain tones - I would get myself into too much trouble in the army.