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Controlling pyscho brother whom I hate: What to do?

At 27, he chose which university I went to by logging into my UCAS and making me change it. When I started my course, he was demanding that I should introduce him to my mates and that I should buy him expensive films with my student loans. He started writing my timetable so I should come home on time. There were instances where he would snatch the phone out my hand and relentlessly stalk my Facebook and text messages. He mentioned that if I went clubbing, he would bring my dad out searching for me and humiliate me. He would relentlessly berate my grades and would further start fights between me and my mother.

I am now 25 and have a hideous degree that I would have NEVER EVER have done in the first place, with virtually no job prospects. He still lives at home, unemployed, 32 and jobless, whilst controlling my mother, in the same way that my father controlled her before they were divorced. He sometimes keeps me locked out of the house in the pouring rain; Makes me come home at 12pm sometimes; Intercept my mail.

What should I do?

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What a nasty individual. You say that he is controlling your mother also. My advice would be to speak to your mother about it, and then if she agrees with the situation as you describe it, then what you should both do is confront him about it together.
Reply 2
You cannot...move out? or lessen contact with him?
Blow him up.
Reply 4
Original post by Phoebe Buffay
What a nasty individual. You say that he is controlling your mother also. My advice would be to speak to your mother about it, and then if she agrees with the situation as you describe it, then what you should both do is confront him about it together.


My mother supports him; Nothing I say or do will dislodge her love for that creature
Reply 5
Call a helpline
Reply 6
Oh can I ask what degree?
Reply 7
Original post by tilly789
Oh can I ask what degree?


Why?

And that's it in terms of advice?
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Why?

And that's it in terms of advice?


I gave my advice above. I dont know why asking what degree is a sensitive subject to you, im just asking questions which is what you do on threads, you said you have a degree thats not going to get you a job thats a very strong statement to make so that interested me. If you dont want to say its fine
Reply 9
Original post by tilly789
I gave my advice above. I dont know why asking what degree is a sensitive subject to you, im just asking questions which is what you do on threads, you said you have a degree thats not going to get you a job thats a very strong statement to make so that interested me. If you dont want to say its fine


BMedSc- Medical Science.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
BMedSc- Medical Science.


Thats good, dont know much about degrees but its a science and that should take you places. Sorry if you didnt want me to ask you about it. But take my advice about the helpline...seems like you've suffered enough
It sounds like your only option is to move out. Why don't you try and get a retail job or something similar so you at least have an income and can save to move out. Also I know someone who did medial sciences and after did a pgce and went into teaching. Maybe that's an option?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
At 27, he chose which university I went to by logging into my UCAS and making me change it. When I started my course, he was demanding that I should introduce him to my mates and that I should buy him expensive films with my student loans. He started writing my timetable so I should come home on time. There were instances where he would snatch the phone out my hand and relentlessly stalk my Facebook and text messages. He mentioned that if I went clubbing, he would bring my dad out searching for me and humiliate me. He would relentlessly berate my grades and would further start fights between me and my mother.

I am now 25 and have a hideous degree that I would have NEVER EVER have done in the first place, with virtually no job prospects. He still lives at home, unemployed, 32 and jobless, whilst controlling my mother, in the same way that my father controlled her before they were divorced. He sometimes keeps me locked out of the house in the pouring rain; Makes me come home at 12pm sometimes; Intercept my mail.

What should I do?


How did he even manage to get your UCAS password, as well as your Facebook password? How was he able to know what you did at university? Why would you give such information?

You shouldn't have let him control you. He ruined your career and your chances to go to the uni and do the course you wanted to do. But that's in the past now, and it wasn't your fault but his for being so controlling.

Why not start but asking him to stop being so controlling?
Sorry for the extremely late reply..

I have been neglecting TSR considerably.

How did he even manage to get your UCAS password, as well as your Facebook password? How was he able to know what you did at university? Why would you give such information?


I left sheets around and he had my phone which had access to my Facebook account at the time.

You shouldn't have let him control you. He ruined your career and your chances to go to the uni and do the course you wanted to do. But that's in the past now, and it wasn't your fault but his for being so controlling.

Why not start but asking him to stop being so controlling?[


I can't stand to be in the same room as him, literally. My mom keeps him in his room when I am there..
Original post by littleangel9914
It sounds like your only option is to move out. Why don't you try and get a retail job or something similar so you at least have an income and can save to move out. Also I know someone who did medial sciences and after did a pgce and went into teaching. Maybe that's an option?


I don't ever want to revisit that nightmare again, let alone teach in it..

Its just that he has left me jobless with a degree that I hate, and he thinks that he has done nothing wrong.
why dont you just move out?
Original post by moonriver96
why dont you just move out?


Read above..

The bastard left me jobless..
Kitchen knives
Original post by Code Carnivore
Kitchen knives


Is that you would if he did that to you?
Original post by Anonymous
Read above..

The bastard left me jobless..

How? A degree in medical science is good! btw, why did you listen to him in the first place? why didnt you tell him to eff off and do what you wanted to do at uni in the first place?

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