I feel like a total loser and I don't know what to do.

I'm a 19 year old gay guy, and a second year student nurse. I love my job (I have to work for free in a hospital), and I'm starting a paid part-time job soon, as well as keeping going with this. I only have a couple of friends and they don't feel like enough. I used to have (and still do to a smaller extent, but it's still there), a drinking problem over the last two years which is still very hard for me to control (I'd never drink the night before going to work though).

I've had a lot of friends with benefits in the last two years who I'd go hang out with at their places, and go to bars and clubs with. I don't see them any more because they got fed-up with me working so much and being tired some of the time, as well as (probably) whatever other reasons that I don't know. They told me I was hot, smart, funny, a nice person, etc, but now they've all moved onto other guys. I've had sex with people who I'm not friends with (one-night stands, a few 'buddies' without being friends, etc), for satisfaction and to feel like people want me.

I'm sick of feeling over-worked, lonely and a loser. I haven't gone out at night for a couple of months, because the couple of friends I have don't like doing stuff like that. I feel like nobody understands me (yes, that old card), and that nobody really wants to know me. When I'm not at work, it always hurts; it drives me crazy. I cry, I have angry outbursts, I resent myself. I feel like I've messed up my life completely and I don't know what to do. The societies at my university are either total crap or non-existent, and the teaching staff are mostly rude and unhelpful.

I don't know what I hope to gain by posting, but I wanted to let it out. Thanks to whoever read this.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

Zarek

So, don't throw the baby away with the bath water. You're on track for a worthwhile, if very challenging, career with real prospects these days. You have some friends and you're getting your oats, at least occasionally. Many 19 year olds would long for this.

Manage your time, allowing space for both work and social activities. A good guy might sort you out too. If the alcohol is a problem seek some help to control it. Overall life can be good if you snap out of victim mentality, count your blessings and make your own breaks. Good luck.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zarek

So, don't throw the baby away with the bath water. You're on track for a worthwhile, if very challenging, career with real prospects these days. You have some friends and you're getting your oats, at least occasionally. Many 19 year olds would long for this.

Manage your time, allowing space for both work and social activities. A good woman might sort you out too. If the alcohol is a problem seek some help to control it. Overall life can be good if you snap out of victim mentality, count your blessings and make your own breaks. Good luck.

I am 20 and never had sex...I don't even care. Im gay and have no friends.. The thing you got to realise is, there are people worse off and you have dream job ahead of you, which is awesome!

I feel like a total loser and I don't know what to do.

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