He wants FWB, I want a relationship?

Hi, title says it all really. We are both almost 18. Please give me some advice.

He is away for the whole summer so as a result, we are constantly texting and always say how we wish we were together etc. He is the nicest guy I know and I am very, very attracted to him. His texts make me so happy, put me in a good mood immediately. I let him know how much I like him and we always compliment each other.

I think I made a mistake though. I knew from the start of our friendship that he definitely was attracted to me physically and so I sext him a lot (nudes) as I know for sure 100% this will make him want me more. We talk about sex all the time and he also tells me how horny he is for me. (No judging please)

Having done this, I feel I've put just my body out there (which also probably gave the impression that I wanted no strings attached). So, I then told him I wanted a relationship and he told me he wanted to be 'friends with added benefits'. I didn't want to lose him so, I immediately agreed to this with no chase whatsoever.

When he returns from his holiday we are going to see each other obviously. We have never kissed or anything before, just been friends, so it's a clean slate and I can do what I want. He is expecting us to be friends with benefits. I guess I can just not touch him, try move onto someone who wants to have me as a girlfriend. Or, should I try and play hard to get and tease him so he wants me? (but, I don't want to bribe him into going out with me..). Or, I might just end up being his FWB. I just like him so much I would really do a lot for him. I've heard bad things about friends with benefits, and seeing I already like him I can see it ending awfully. Will a FWB situation really end up damaging me? How do I make him my boyfriend?

Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks a lot.

Reply 1

Reluctant Economist

Cut your losses now before you get seriously hurt.

Reply 2

consumed by stuff

If you play this game you will lose. Sending nude photos was a dumb **** move too, if you fall out I could be looking at pictures of you naked by the end of the summer.

Reply 3

Inazuma

A relationship will not happen if he doesn't want one.
Ask him if he would, else yes cut your losses and stop. It will never work if feelings are involved.

Reply 4

xOHarriet

DO NOT SLEEP WITH HIM.

Nothing hurts more than sleeping with someone you have feelings for who doesn't want you. Once you start sleeping with him you wont be able to stop because you hope he changes his mind, but he wont. Just please don't go there.

Reply 5

EllieC130

Get out of there. Seriously, if you think doing it will convince him you're worth trying out a relationship with, you're likely wrong. Stop now before you get in too deep. And make sure you get him to delete the nudes too.

Reply 6

mollyxrose

End it. You'll only develop more feelings by being FWB.

Reply 7

Peju

You shouldn't have sent nude pics to someone you aren't even in a committed relationship with. Its now gonna be out there so be prepared. I would advise you to leave him unless you want to become what many call a 'sidechick'. From what you stated, it doesn't seem that he is that into you or he would have put in extra effort. In my opinion, in terms of a long lasting relationship, its not worth it girl.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the responses. But I don't want to lose him, I think about him when I wake up, before I go to sleep and every thought in between. I sound ridiculous saying that... but it is sadly very true. I can't say I will only give him what he wants - my body - if he is my boyfriend, can I? All his best friends have girlfriends, I don't know why he doesn't want one.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Oh also, he attracts the most girls out of any guy I know and yet is still a virgin. So, the fact he wants to lose it to me makes me feel slightly wanted.

Reply 10

mollyxrose

Original post by Anonymous

You cant "make" anyone become your boyfriend. He either wants a relationship or he doesn't. In this case, he doesn't. Sorry to sound harsh but you should just cut all ties and move on. Being FWB will only hurt you and isn't worth it.

Reply 11

SophieSmall

OP you're naive and infatuated. Cut your losses now, it will hurt but not anywhere near as much as it will if you what you are planning.

Reply 12

A.H95

Back away slowly and never look back.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by A.H95

Back away slowly and never look back.

Posted from TSR Mobile

I have no idea how I'm gonna be able to do this

Reply 14

A.H95

Original post by Anonymous

I have no idea how I'm gonna be able to do this

Well, what I'd do in this situation is wait till he's back from his holiday and talk to him face to face and see if there is hope of a relationship. If not then I'd advise you to stop yourself getting involved in something you'll regret later.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by A.H95

Yeah I'll do this, at least there's a bit of hope. Thanks.

Reply 16

CJKay

Don't do it, OP, it doesn't work out. :frown:

Reply 17

Maker

Sometimes you will only really learn from your own mistakes rather than take advice to avoid them regardless how good it is.

So OP, try to have a relationship, if it does work out great, if it does not, let us know the gruesome details, life can be harsh.

Reply 18

Nerol

I've been is this situation several times, wanting a relationship with a guy who clearly wasn't interested in me as anything other than a shag. The most recent one is still going on, really.

The big one was with a guy I was totally smitten with. He was my best friend, and our little FWB thing went on for years. I managed to convince myself I was fine with things the way they were, but in truth, I wasn't at all. Looking back, this "relationship" was one thing that damaged me greatly. Anyone who has read my posts on here before will know I've suffered with depression, and I think that was one of the main things that caused it.

Don't get me wrong, we are still good friends now, and I would never let what happened between us affect that friendship. Now, I've got into a similar situation with another friend I met in Beijing, and we're actually moving in together in a place in Beijing next month, so I don't know how that will go.

I think my message here is if you do go through with a FWB thing, make sure the foundation of your friendship is strong enough to withstand it. Also, expect to get hurt and be let down, because I can almost guarantee it will happen. I don't regret my past decisions, I've always followed my heart before my head and I don't want that to change. Just be careful.