The Student Room Group

should i stop trying with these girls?

im friends with a girl who ive known for a few years now but our friendship isnt at a place id think it would be after this many years. ive never been to her house but shes been to mine loads, ive never met her parents but shes met mine, that sorta thing. she has no reason to feel uncomfortable on her end, cos she has other friends over.

whenever we have conversations on fb or text, she replies to everything with one word or doesnt really engage. i know some people dont like texting, but when i see her talking to others online in comments shes different. i asked her about this, i said it makes me feel like ive done something wrong or shes mad at me, and she said this wasnt the case theres no problem, and she would try to make more of an effort. however i made the effort to start a convo and she kept replying with 'lol' that sorta thing... so it kinda seemed like right so ive told you this bothered me and youre continuing to do it? it made me think it was maybe on purpose cos id made her aware if bothered me...

i always make the effort, i feel like im trying my best, but it comes across like she just isnt really that bothered about me. we never really spend any time together any more, i havent seen her once this summer. with other friendships, after this long we'd have in jokes and be comfortable around each other and make an equal effort, however everytime we talk she acts like shes meeting me for the first time. shes very like passive aggressive and socially awkward towards me and i dont know why.

she also has a sister who ive met many times and i try to make the effort with her but she acts the same way. being very short and coming across like theres an issue. its coming to that point where i just dont even want to bother with them anymore. not completely ending the friendship but not initiating anything or inviting them anywhere.

theyre that way where they act like theyve got a guard up against me and dont wanna get close to me. no one else is like this towards me.. and they arent like this towards others either. i havent done anything to make them act this way. im not being arrogant or anything here but i get the impression that it might be they feel intimidated by me, like they maybe think im "cool" or whatever and instead of being friendly and open, its like they think ill act all weird and awkward.... i cant explain it.

i know you cant get along with everyone but if anyone has any ideas how you can get closer to someone and have a better friendship that would be great. she doesnt really share any personal info with me, like if something bad happened with my bf or that id go to a friend for advice and talk about it, but she doesnt do this with me. its like shes a closed book. i know you cant force these things but i just find it odd that she doesnt feel comfortable to tell me anything more than just "im good. you?" "my trip was good." "i had a good weekend"....
Seems to me like she ain't interested.
Reply 2
Original post by Paralove
Seems to me like she ain't interested.


i get that impression too :/
Original post by Anonymous
i get that impression too :/


From what you said it implies you want to be more than friends, or at least she gets that impression. I think she is trying to get rid of you through annoying you rather than saying something straight out. She isn't worth your time.
Reply 4
If its a few years and your saying you haven't got naked with her well then its clear you have just been filed in the LJBF drawer and clearly haven't realised it. Move on..
Reply 5
Original post by Paralove
From what you said it implies you want to be more than friends, or at least she gets that impression. I think she is trying to get rid of you through annoying you rather than saying something straight out. She isn't worth your time.


I'm a girl o.o and no I mean our friendship isn't that close as in we don't have in-jokes or talk about personal stuff which I do with other friends I've known for years, that way where you know they won't judge you or be like "eww why are you telling me about boys" type crap.
Reply 6
Original post by Limpopo
If its a few years and your saying you haven't got naked with her well then its clear you have just been filed in the LJBF drawer and clearly haven't realised it. Move on..


I'm a female and not romantically interested in her o.o

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