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Feel like I should end it but I can't...?

My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a year. Although our relationship has progressed abnormally slowly due to me being anxious, I think we had a special connection when we first got together. Now it's like everything has dampened down. I know this is normal after the initial "honeymoon period" is over, but he said it feels like we are in a rut now. It is my first relationship and I think I've fallen for him too hard. I think about him all the time, miss him a lot and don't want him to leave when we are together. It feels right when we are together, to me anyway, and a lot of people say we are good together. But I feel like he isn't very interested in me any more and doesn't make me feel special any more. I am not the sort of person who expects to be showered with gifts, in fact quite the opposite. But after being together for a year, he has randomly surprised me with something possibly twice and given me flowers once. I recently went on holiday for a week and don't think he missed me at all. All the contact we had during this time was "good morning". I went to see him at his work and help him close, then asked him to hang around for a little bit to chat and he jokingly called me a bitch for making him wait longer for his bus. Admittedly, he knows I don't like doing things like going out for meals etc., but he never takes me anywhere. He said he might be going to the cinema with his friend and asked if I would go if he was. He didn't go, but didn't mention anything about it until it was so late they would have already left. When we don't see each other, our conversation exists of basically only "hi, how are you?", and today it was actually just "hi" and he never replied after that. He says he loves me online but never says it to my face. I am arranging my own birthday plans because otherwise probably nothing much will be happening. A couple of people and my Mum have told me that he's no good for me. But because of the things I talked about, even the thought of breaking up with him hurts too much.

Reply 1

Kabulkid

how about talk to him....

Reply 2

NoonaMoona

I know it's hard to end your first relationship because you almost feel like it has to work or it'll be fine eventually but that's not always the case. Obviously we don't know the full story behind your relationship but from what I have read here, it looks like he's putting in the bare minimum effort into your relationship. To be quite honest with you, you deserve much better. I mean sure you can talk to him about how you feel and how your relationship is changing. But my personally if I was in your shoes, I would end it. If it doesn't feel right with someone, the relationship will end up becoming forced and neither of you will be happy in the long term. Good luck :smile:

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Reply 3

It's a Classic

If I genuinely loved a girl I would cherish everyday I had with her and made sure that I made her happy. The way you describe your boyfriend, doesn't seem positive at all. Overall I think it's an unhealthy relationship. It's understandable as this is your first relationship so you may have become incredibly attached to him but evidently he doesn't feel the same way towards you. You might not realise it but it could be because the two of you are just not clicking any more and the relationship has turned stale. Frankly, I agree with your friends and mum. Find someone that will value you. :h: