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How do i break it to her??

personally if we are going to base the argument on gender, i think it is terribly sad for a woman to disagree with his post, but as i said earlier that is just my personal opinion and every has a right it whatever theirs may be. sorry but the OP is asking for advice, ie what other people would do in the situation, which is the same thing as what they think is right or wrong. Tis the point of asking for advice.

Reply 41

User69701

10

You have to just tell her. She will support you. She may be upset temporarily, but it will pass.

Reply 42

leah_0600

atomheartbrother

To express my opinion? That's sad? Or, more specifically, was it what I posted?

It may have come across as slightly patronising, I can see that now. I stand by what I say though and it was by no means arrogant.

Just ignore it atomheartbrother, i didn't think it was patronising at all... or arrogant

Reply 43

atomheartbrother

4

leah_0600

Just ignore it atomheartbrother, i didn't think it was patronising at all... or arrogant

Cheers for that :smile:

I shall take your advice too.

Reply 44

Purple

15

Anonymous

I thought maybe i could go to uni when the baby is older, do u think that would be possible? Do uni's accommodate for that sort of thing? How fair would it be on a young child if its mum is studying all the time.

Yes, it is perfectly possible. Or you could do a part time degree, but that depends on what degree you would be wanting to do, medicine etc would be more difficult.

There's no difference between going to a university when the child is 1/2 than going back to work like most mothers when the child is 6 months old. Anyway you have motivation to suceed for your baby :smile:

Reply 45

Anonymous #4

If you keep the baby you will have great difficulty in completing your education. If you drop out you will have poor prospects and probably end up in a ****ty job you hate whilst struggling to look after a baby. What job can you get without even A levels? Nothing decent. Your wages will be so low you'd struggle without a baby to pay rent and bills and food, but how will you raise the baby AND work AND pay for everything? It's not feasible!

Reply 46

fewasam

atomheartbrother

To express my opinion? That's sad? Or, more specifically, was it what I posted?

It may have come across as slightly patronising, I can see that now. I stand by what I say though and it was by no means arrogant.

It was very much intellectually and morally arrogant, insulting, entirely out of place and pathetic. I ****ing despair of this generation.

I'm not going to continue with this. Saddens me.

OP: good luck.

Reply 47

JamieInPompey

6

You have to think about what you want for the future. You can either have the baby and you can go to uni later in life. Or you can get an abortion and go straight to uni, but you may have a very big feling of guilt and regret. I know that because my ex girlfriend had an abortion and she said it was the most horrible thing she ever felt in her life. Life she was empty inside. But to be fair it is upto you and what you want to do. Good Luck

Reply 48

leah_0600

fewasam

It was very much intellectually and morally arrogant, insulting, entirely out of place and pathetic. I ****ing despair of this generation.

I'm not going to continue with this. Saddens me.

OP: good luck.

Intellectually arrogant?? huh? :confused:

Back to subject matter, I hope some of the advice given has helped you in some way OP. I totally sympathise with you but also believe it can be (and HAS been done) by many people remember. You're not alone, you have your mum and i'm sure you'll have your family's support. I hope you pluck up the courage to tell your mum soon because it will be a great weight off your shoulders!

Reply 49

Anonymous #5

my best friend had a baby at 17 and she's now getting ready to go to uni aged nearly 20. her son is the most adorable thing and i know she wouldn't turn back the clock even if she could. i had an abortion the year i was going to uni and its the worst mistake ive ever made.

Reply 50

Mattmoy_2000

9

Bringing up a baby at the age of (I assume) 17/18 is entirely feasable. Think how you'd feel if you aborted. I'm not going to moralise to you, but you've got to decide where your priorities lay. It's an unfortunate situation, but it's not the end of the world. You've got a lot of growing up to do over the next few days/weeks. Personally, I'd keep the baby and sod my degree (I'm halfway through an undergrad masters physics degree, but then again, also male.) Some things you can do in later life, like a degree/career, but some things, once gone, can never come back, like this baby.
Tell your mum, NOW (unless you've got a *****ing good reason not to, then tell someone else). If you know you're pregnant, there's probably not too long before you start showing anyway...

Reply 51

bunnycatkid

I can't talk to my mum about the tiniest things so I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. If there is anyone else you are close to (sister, aunty - someone your mum is also close to) who would be a bit more objective than your mum who probably still sees you as her baby, it might help to tell them first and have them with you when you tell your mum. she may be upset that you didn't go to her first but it would give you the courage you need. If that isn't an option either way your mum will get used to the idea and she will support you. For some reason I read all the information about people applying to uni with "dependants" and its perfectly possible and a lot of people do it. you seem really mature to have made your decision and even more so to be open to discussion, so good luck with it :smile:

Reply 52

FireDeuce

14

Anonymous

How fair would it be on a young child if its mum is studying all the time.

My mum started a degree when I was 4

Reply 53

so_this_is_sam

3

Just wanted to wish you luck with whatever you decide to do. Im not giving advice because in these circumstances you are the only one who can choose what to do. Good luck with everything xxx

Reply 54

b9muslove

1

Have you told the father? If he is sensible, he would support you

Reply 55

Anonymous #1

OP

I'm pretty sure he will want nothing to do with the baby, he's going to uni this year. Also we're not even going out it was just a one night stand. I will tell him obviously as he has a right to know, but i'm not expecting much.
Thanks everyone for the advice, i'v told my mum, just came right out and said 'mum i'm so sorry but i'm pregnant' god it was hard! and i'm currently hiding in my room while she is talking to my dad downstairs, she was really angry with me for not being careful, then she cried, but she says whatever i do she will support me. I hope i'm doing the right thing, but now my mum knows i know she will help me through it.

Reply 56

Anonymous #6

atomheartbrother

You should be proud of yourself for choosing to keep the baby. A lot of women in your position would choose the easy solution. It sounds like you are an educated individual and you have respect for yourself and the gift of life that you can give.

Sorry for going off topic here but i just wanted to stress that abortion isn't an "easy solution." It is an agonisingly difficult decision and people who chose to go through with abortions most often do so for the sake of the baby as they know they may not be able to give it what it deserves. On the other hand, many young mothers are incredible with their children and live very happy lives. I know this is irrelevant as the OP has made her decision, I just wanted to make a point regarding atomheartbrother's comment.

OP: i went through what you're going through and although telling parents seems like the most difficult thing, no matter what their reaction, i promise you will feel better for telling them. Good luck with everything.

Reply 57

Champagne-Dahling

10

Lady of the Lake

She'll respect you more for telling her, she's not going to cast you out or disown you you're her daughter and she loves you, plus she'll be made up about becoming a grandma!

Good luck and post pics,

Charlotte xxx :smile:

Ermm, am probably speaking on behalf of a fair few, in saying that if I found out my "virgin" teenage daughter was pregnant, (let alone from a one-night stand), the potential pleasantries of becoming a "grandma" wouldn't be at the forefront of my mind.... :rolleyes: