paranoid/anxiety/panic 'Attacks'?!
I have been experiencing the following for about 6 months now and it has been getting progressively worse:
I'm not sure exactly what it is but I think I may have some sort of anxiety disorder.
It all started around Easter time this year when I was coming home from university on the train. I was sat on the train listening to my ipod as usual but the battery died and so I ended up just looking out of the window. All was normal until a group of 4 guys (probably around 18-22 years old) came aboard and sat on a four seater with a table, across from me.
I don't know why but my mind kept tuning into their conversation and I began to feel really paranoid. Every sudden movement startled me and furthered this paranoia. It was like I was on edge about anything and everything. It was an intense and frightening experience.
That was the first time I'd experienced paranoia/panic/anxiety (whatever it was) before. About a week into Easter when I was staying at my mums house I experienced a similar thing. My brother and his girfriend and my sister were also staying at the house during easter and so it was a full house for once.
Well, I woke up one morning and again, I don't know why but I began to feel paranoid. I could hear my brother and sister talking in the room next to mine but everything they were saying seemed to be negative things about me. I am pretty sure they were not talking about me or not talking at all - it could have just been the TV being on but my brain was just sending me paranoid thoughts.
Basically, these occurrences have been becoming progressively worse and more often over the past few months to which they have severely impacted my life.
I stay in the house most of the time as I'm afraid if I leave I may suffer another one of these 'attacks'. Any time I hear people talking in the next room I become paranoid they are talking about me - even worse, I end up listening in to every conversation to ensure that they aren't talking about me.
I miss 90% of my lectures at uni for the same reasons.
At uni I order all my food online because I'm afraid to go to the shops.
It has become so bad that I question trivial things about myself such as the way I walk as I'm paranoid people are laughing at how I walk and other silly things like that.
I experience other symptoms as well which I believe are linked; bad stomach (a bit like diarrhoea), I sweat and shake during the attacks, and I have noticed that I have a cloudy head - that is I find it difficult to think of things to talk about when people talk to me. I overheard someone saying it was like talking to a zombie as they wasn't all there (referring to me)
I'm afraid to go to the doctors and tell them about it all as I think they won't believe me or that they will just think I'm on drugs (which btw people think I am on due to my behaviour changing these past months, but it's because I haven't told anyone of the problems I'm having)
I need advice & support as I'm actually scared I'm going to have a mental breakdown if I don't get treated.
I'm not sure exactly what it is but I think I may have some sort of anxiety disorder.
It all started around Easter time this year when I was coming home from university on the train. I was sat on the train listening to my ipod as usual but the battery died and so I ended up just looking out of the window. All was normal until a group of 4 guys (probably around 18-22 years old) came aboard and sat on a four seater with a table, across from me.
I don't know why but my mind kept tuning into their conversation and I began to feel really paranoid. Every sudden movement startled me and furthered this paranoia. It was like I was on edge about anything and everything. It was an intense and frightening experience.
That was the first time I'd experienced paranoia/panic/anxiety (whatever it was) before. About a week into Easter when I was staying at my mums house I experienced a similar thing. My brother and his girfriend and my sister were also staying at the house during easter and so it was a full house for once.
Well, I woke up one morning and again, I don't know why but I began to feel paranoid. I could hear my brother and sister talking in the room next to mine but everything they were saying seemed to be negative things about me. I am pretty sure they were not talking about me or not talking at all - it could have just been the TV being on but my brain was just sending me paranoid thoughts.
Basically, these occurrences have been becoming progressively worse and more often over the past few months to which they have severely impacted my life.
I stay in the house most of the time as I'm afraid if I leave I may suffer another one of these 'attacks'. Any time I hear people talking in the next room I become paranoid they are talking about me - even worse, I end up listening in to every conversation to ensure that they aren't talking about me.
I miss 90% of my lectures at uni for the same reasons.
At uni I order all my food online because I'm afraid to go to the shops.
It has become so bad that I question trivial things about myself such as the way I walk as I'm paranoid people are laughing at how I walk and other silly things like that.
I experience other symptoms as well which I believe are linked; bad stomach (a bit like diarrhoea), I sweat and shake during the attacks, and I have noticed that I have a cloudy head - that is I find it difficult to think of things to talk about when people talk to me. I overheard someone saying it was like talking to a zombie as they wasn't all there (referring to me)
I'm afraid to go to the doctors and tell them about it all as I think they won't believe me or that they will just think I'm on drugs (which btw people think I am on due to my behaviour changing these past months, but it's because I haven't told anyone of the problems I'm having)
I need advice & support as I'm actually scared I'm going to have a mental breakdown if I don't get treated.
Scroll to see replies
Sorry that you are going through this, it does sound pretty scary especially seeing as it's all come on very quickly.
the really good thing though is that you still have insight into what is happening... Which means it will be easier for you to get help and get better.
Not sure if you are a guy/girl and what your age is, but maybe have a read of this page....it sounds like you could be in a prodromal phase or have developed an anxiety disorder... Either way you definitely need to speak to a doctor before it gets out of hand
http://www.adaptprogram.com/what-is-the-prodrome/
the really good thing though is that you still have insight into what is happening... Which means it will be easier for you to get help and get better.
Not sure if you are a guy/girl and what your age is, but maybe have a read of this page....it sounds like you could be in a prodromal phase or have developed an anxiety disorder... Either way you definitely need to speak to a doctor before it gets out of hand
http://www.adaptprogram.com/what-is-the-prodrome/
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry that you are going through this, it does sound pretty scary especially seeing as it's all come on very quickly.
the really good thing though is that you still have insight into what is happening... Which means it will be easier for you to get help and get better.
Not sure if you are a guy/girl and what your age is, but maybe have a read of this page....it sounds like you could be in a prodromal phase or have developed an anxiety disorder... Either way you definitely need to speak to a doctor before it gets out of hand
http://www.adaptprogram.com/what-is-the-prodrome/
the really good thing though is that you still have insight into what is happening... Which means it will be easier for you to get help and get better.
Not sure if you are a guy/girl and what your age is, but maybe have a read of this page....it sounds like you could be in a prodromal phase or have developed an anxiety disorder... Either way you definitely need to speak to a doctor before it gets out of hand
http://www.adaptprogram.com/what-is-the-prodrome/
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Sorry that you are going through this, it does sound pretty scary especially seeing as it's all come on very quickly.
the really good thing though is that you still have insight into what is happening... Which means it will be easier for you to get help and get better.
Not sure if you are a guy/girl and what your age is, but maybe have a read of this page....it sounds like you could be in a prodromal phase or have developed an anxiety disorder... Either way you definitely need to speak to a doctor before it gets out of hand
http://www.adaptprogram.com/what-is-the-prodrome/
the really good thing though is that you still have insight into what is happening... Which means it will be easier for you to get help and get better.
Not sure if you are a guy/girl and what your age is, but maybe have a read of this page....it sounds like you could be in a prodromal phase or have developed an anxiety disorder... Either way you definitely need to speak to a doctor before it gets out of hand
http://www.adaptprogram.com/what-is-the-prodrome/
Thanks for the link, I am a 23yr old male.
I'm beginning to get more worried after seeing the link.
copied/pasted the symptoms and deleted the ones I don't have, also added a comment to each.
Unusual Thinking
Confusion about what is real and what is imaginary (when hearing people talk say in a different room)
Suspiciousness or paranoid thinking (throughout most of the day)
Feeling that your ideas are or behaviors are being controlled by outside forces (not necessarily but I know they're silly thoughts/feelings I just can't stop them from appearing in my mnd)
Perceptual Disturbances
Sensitivity to sounds, easily distracted by background noises (yes every sound i hear sends me a paranoid thought that someone is talking bad about me)
Hearing things that other people don’t hear (again the pranoia links in with this)
Negative Symptoms
Wanting to spend more time alone (to avoid social interaction
Not feeling motivated to do things (this at least isn't true - I feel motivated to do certain things but actually doing them I find hard)
Trouble understanding conversations or written materials (I get easily distracted/can't concentrate for long)
Difficulty identifying and expressing emotions (big yes, I have developed a blank stare and have started having trouble even smiling at anything)
Disorganized Symptoms
Trouble with attention (as mentioned before)
Laughing at odd or inappropriate times (sometimes because when someone is talking to me my brain zones out and just hits me with paranoid/anxious thoughts and so I often don't know wht the conversation is about)
Problems with communication (a little bit)
Vague, racing or slow speech, difficulty staying on track or getting to the point (sometimes)
Mood Symptoms
Sadness, emptiness, or irritability (I only feel sad because of the symptons)
Loss of interest or pleasure (used to go out with friends a lot but now stay indoors and avoid social interaction)
Physical symptoms (tiredness, weight gain/loss, aches and pains) (shakes/sweats/bad stomach)
Elevated mood: excitement, feeling high or “hyper” Racing thoughts (yes when I think of something it starts an explosion of thought processes - this proves difficult to switch off at night)
Distractibility, talkativeness (yes)
Irritability (I feel bad on this one as I had a big argument with my dad as he forced me to go to a social outing and I strongly refused as I wanted to avoid the social bits, he kept asking me why I didn't want to go but I didn't want to tell him it was because of these anxiety attack things)
Anxiety Symptoms
Constant fear or worry (definitely)
Excessive social anxiety (++++definitely)
Panic Attacks (don't know how to describe them other then attacks of sudden fear)
Agoraphobia (fear of leaving home) (not a fear of leaving the home as such but a fear of leaving the home and other people being around in case I get paranoia)
Impairment in Functioning
Problems in relationships with friends or family (I avoid seeing my friends because I'm ashamed of my behaviour if I get an attack)
Also, is there anyway to talk to my GP or other medical professional over the phone and get treatment without going to the doctors office eg. get prescribed medicATION over the phone? I don't think I can cope with a face-to-face in all honesty.
Also, My mother has booked me in for loads of shifts at work up until I go back to uni. How can I tell her (and my boss) that I don't want to/can't work them all? Last time I was in work I suffered from a paranoid anxiety attack and it was a horrible experience because I felt like I couldn't escape from it until I finished my shift.
Nobody knows about all this btw as I haven't told anyone i aknowledge that I need help but at the same time I cannot face it all.
Also, My mother has booked me in for loads of shifts at work up until I go back to uni. How can I tell her (and my boss) that I don't want to/can't work them all? Last time I was in work I suffered from a paranoid anxiety attack and it was a horrible experience because I felt like I couldn't escape from it until I finished my shift.
Nobody knows about all this btw as I haven't told anyone i aknowledge that I need help but at the same time I cannot face it all.
Original post by shawn_o1
No, just no. Medication by itself will only make your condition worse. You have to interact with the people that are going to help you overcome this problem.
I said as an example medication over the phone.
Personally from what I've read online I would like a CBT to help me long-term and some medication such as benzos for the short term to help me through other attacks.
I'd still want it all done online or by phone though.
Forget the online/phone doctor thing because it just will not happen. Remember, the fear and anxiety you have about doing something is always worse than what ends up actually occurring.
I have a mental illness and have been in both situations where I've had horrific panic attacks on the way and in the actual doctors room. I've also been at points where I'm so unsocial at home because of my anxiety that I've been dragged to the doctor by my mum, after that I just did it myself.
half the battle is booking the appointment and sitting in that chair.
i reckon you should tell someone close to you what's going on. Who do you feel closest to at the moment? The other thing I would do is just print off that list you've just made, make it a bit easier to read and bring it to the doctors. If you get stuck for words you can read off the sheet or hand it to him.
There is nothing to be ashamed of, gps see this sort of stuff constantly. But I know from experience the hardest thing is getting up and helping yourself before it's too late. Good luck
I have a mental illness and have been in both situations where I've had horrific panic attacks on the way and in the actual doctors room. I've also been at points where I'm so unsocial at home because of my anxiety that I've been dragged to the doctor by my mum, after that I just did it myself.
half the battle is booking the appointment and sitting in that chair.
i reckon you should tell someone close to you what's going on. Who do you feel closest to at the moment? The other thing I would do is just print off that list you've just made, make it a bit easier to read and bring it to the doctors. If you get stuck for words you can read off the sheet or hand it to him.
There is nothing to be ashamed of, gps see this sort of stuff constantly. But I know from experience the hardest thing is getting up and helping yourself before it's too late. Good luck
Original post by Anonymous
I said as an example medication over the phone.
Personally from what I've read online I would like a CBT to help me long-term and some medication such as benzos for the short term to help me through other attacks.
I'd still want it all done online or by phone though.
Personally from what I've read online I would like a CBT to help me long-term and some medication such as benzos for the short term to help me through other attacks.
I'd still want it all done online or by phone though.
ps the basic reason they won't do the phone/internet thing is because of suicide risk and mental health. Imagine if they consulted you and heaven forbid you ended your life soon after....they can be stuck off as it's too easy to lie, etc, over the phone concerning intent to do so...the only thing I've ever been able to do this way is order repeat prescriptions BUT only when I'm stable and every 6 months they usually want to see you in person to check on you. It's the safest way really.
Original post by Anonymous
ps the basic reason they won't do the phone/internet thing is because of suicide risk and mental health. Imagine if they consulted you and heaven forbid you ended your life soon after....they can be stuck off as it's too easy to lie, etc, over the phone concerning intent to do so...the only thing I've ever been able to do this way is order repeat prescriptions BUT only when I'm stable and every 6 months they usually want to see you in person to check on you. It's the safest way really.
not going to lie, I am feeling physically ill just thinking about going to see my GP.
Original post by Anonymous
not going to lie, I am feeling physically ill just thinking about going to see my GP.
it is scary but mental health is not uncommon and your GP will have seen it all before, I would really advise being honest with your mum and perhaps she could come along as support? as others have suggested write down everything you're experiencing so if you have trouble getting it out you can give your GP the paper, there is absolutely 0 chance of this being done on the phone so try and just think of it as one scary thing (GP) or another scary thing (work + life with your difficulties)
I need help, I have to go to work this evening but I don't think I could do it without having another attack (I think where I work is a trigger)
What can I tell them to get out of it without mentioning my anxiety ? My mother works there too so she'd know if I didn't go in, what could be a viable excuse?
I'm not planning on missing loads of work but I don't think I'm able to cope without seeing my gp first which I can't do until Monday / Tuesday as they aren't open at weekends!
What can I tell them to get out of it without mentioning my anxiety ? My mother works there too so she'd know if I didn't go in, what could be a viable excuse?
I'm not planning on missing loads of work but I don't think I'm able to cope without seeing my gp first which I can't do until Monday / Tuesday as they aren't open at weekends!
You need to see a doctor. The doctor will most likely refer to a counsellor/psychotherapist. If it has a neurological basis (neuro-hormonal imbalance), then he may suggest some anti-anxiety meds.
My girlfriend has an anxiety disorder. Going to see the doctor, and getting medical attention, has helped her an awful lot.
My girlfriend has an anxiety disorder. Going to see the doctor, and getting medical attention, has helped her an awful lot.
Bump please I need an excuse before my shift !
Nevermind with the excuse now, I text my mum asking her to phone work for me but she didn't reply (she's at a christening so I think her mobile will be on silent)
took me an hour to build up the courage to phone work, I told them I wasn't coming in due to personal reasons but I was told that my boss may phone me asking what the reason is but I guess I'd just tell him the truth.
Also, pushing towards telling my mother About my anxiety when she gets home as I need some kind of support as it is getting worse.
took me an hour to build up the courage to phone work, I told them I wasn't coming in due to personal reasons but I was told that my boss may phone me asking what the reason is but I guess I'd just tell him the truth.
Also, pushing towards telling my mother About my anxiety when she gets home as I need some kind of support as it is getting worse.
How did you go with your mother? I wouldn't advise skipping too much work as it will become a habit, and each time you actually go in will become scarier and scarier...please just go to the doc! It's honestly not as bad as you think it will be...and if you have an attack, who cares? Its a medical condition and he most definitely won't think you're weird etc
I'm sorry that you feel this way. I can understand what you're going through.
For years I had anxiety issues, although not as severe as yours. There were certain situations I could handle sure as going to work because I liked it and was usually on my own. I didn't have any friends at school but I did have a comforting boyfriend.
Like yourself, I was too afraid to go to the GP. I was paranoid that they would lock me away in a mental health facility so I suffered through it instead. I became suicidal.
Earlier this year, I became absolutely sick to death of feeling the way I did; suicidal, self harming, paranoid, anxiety attacks etc. So I booked the appointment at my GP.
I was very emotional when explaining it all to him, but he was completely professional about it. He did not put me on medication at this point. However he did put me on the waiting list to start CBT. The only trouble with that is that the waiting list was huge. I wasn't even on the waiting list, I was waiting to be on the 6 month waiting list. So I left not feeling sure if I accomplished anything.
I was at university at this point and I confided to one of my lecturers about it, and long story short they wanted me to take a year out (it was a nursing course so there was a risk of patients). I absolutely refused, it was the only thing that kept me going.
Somehow they managed to bump me up the list for CBT. I found the therapy very helpful, to the point that I discharged myself after only a few months. It completely changed the way I thought about myself and others. I can walk down the street confidently now without thinking someone is talking about the way I dress, how my hair is etc. I would recommend it but please keep in mind the long waiting list, at this point you will need to start seeking your own help.
I was put on medication a couple of months ago because my heart rate would sit at 220-250 bpm whilst I was on placement (60-90 bpm is the normal rate). I was prescribed propranolol and it worked in slowing my heart rate down and I didn't feel panicky. Unfortunately, I forgot to take my medication one day on placement and long story short I've now been taken off my uni course.
My advice to you would be to see your gp, u understand what you're going through. Only you can help yourself. Notify a family member, they may be more understanding than you think. For the mean time if you decide to go with CBT, make a list of achievements you want out of all this i.e. being able to go to the shop, doing a shift at work. And work on these, just a little step at a time, there is no need to push yourself further than you need to and keep a diary of your progress, you'd be surprised at how far you come on your own.
I really hope that everything works out for you, I'd hate to be back feeling like it. Going to the gp was the best decision I made.
You can do it
Posted from TSR Mobile
For years I had anxiety issues, although not as severe as yours. There were certain situations I could handle sure as going to work because I liked it and was usually on my own. I didn't have any friends at school but I did have a comforting boyfriend.
Like yourself, I was too afraid to go to the GP. I was paranoid that they would lock me away in a mental health facility so I suffered through it instead. I became suicidal.
Earlier this year, I became absolutely sick to death of feeling the way I did; suicidal, self harming, paranoid, anxiety attacks etc. So I booked the appointment at my GP.
I was very emotional when explaining it all to him, but he was completely professional about it. He did not put me on medication at this point. However he did put me on the waiting list to start CBT. The only trouble with that is that the waiting list was huge. I wasn't even on the waiting list, I was waiting to be on the 6 month waiting list. So I left not feeling sure if I accomplished anything.
I was at university at this point and I confided to one of my lecturers about it, and long story short they wanted me to take a year out (it was a nursing course so there was a risk of patients). I absolutely refused, it was the only thing that kept me going.
Somehow they managed to bump me up the list for CBT. I found the therapy very helpful, to the point that I discharged myself after only a few months. It completely changed the way I thought about myself and others. I can walk down the street confidently now without thinking someone is talking about the way I dress, how my hair is etc. I would recommend it but please keep in mind the long waiting list, at this point you will need to start seeking your own help.
I was put on medication a couple of months ago because my heart rate would sit at 220-250 bpm whilst I was on placement (60-90 bpm is the normal rate). I was prescribed propranolol and it worked in slowing my heart rate down and I didn't feel panicky. Unfortunately, I forgot to take my medication one day on placement and long story short I've now been taken off my uni course.
My advice to you would be to see your gp, u understand what you're going through. Only you can help yourself. Notify a family member, they may be more understanding than you think. For the mean time if you decide to go with CBT, make a list of achievements you want out of all this i.e. being able to go to the shop, doing a shift at work. And work on these, just a little step at a time, there is no need to push yourself further than you need to and keep a diary of your progress, you'd be surprised at how far you come on your own.
I really hope that everything works out for you, I'd hate to be back feeling like it. Going to the gp was the best decision I made.
You can do it
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
How did you go with your mother? I wouldn't advise skipping too much work as it will become a habit, and each time you actually go in will become scarier and scarier...please just go to the doc! It's honestly not as bad as you think it will be...and if you have an attack, who cares? Its a medical condition and he most definitely won't think you're weird etc
Well my anxiety kept flaring up so when my mum came home I went to bed and pretended to sleep because she came home asking why I didn't go to work.
Then I planned on telling her this morning but she came into my room and said in a forceful, aggressive tone "Why didn't you go into work yesterday?!", which then made my anxiety heighten and so I couldn't tell her and ended up on the defense saying "I have my reasons, leave me alone". I guess I find it hard to talk about even with my own mum.
I did phone the doctors though but they were fully booked of appointments and so I have been put onto the cancellation list in case someone cancels their appointment today. If I can't get an appointment today I am going to just book the earliest available one.
Wish me luck...
Original post by Anonymous
Well my anxiety kept flaring up so when my mum came home I went to bed and pretended to sleep because she came home asking why I didn't go to work.
Then I planned on telling her this morning but she came into my room and said in a forceful, aggressive tone "Why didn't you go into work yesterday?!", which then made my anxiety heighten and so I couldn't tell her and ended up on the defense saying "I have my reasons, leave me alone". I guess I find it hard to talk about even with my own mum.
I did phone the doctors though but they were fully booked of appointments and so I have been put onto the cancellation list in case someone cancels their appointment today. If I can't get an appointment today I am going to just book the earliest available one.
Wish me luck...
Then I planned on telling her this morning but she came into my room and said in a forceful, aggressive tone "Why didn't you go into work yesterday?!", which then made my anxiety heighten and so I couldn't tell her and ended up on the defense saying "I have my reasons, leave me alone". I guess I find it hard to talk about even with my own mum.
I did phone the doctors though but they were fully booked of appointments and so I have been put onto the cancellation list in case someone cancels their appointment today. If I can't get an appointment today I am going to just book the earliest available one.
Wish me luck...
See how many people on this thread care and have similar experiences! As hard as it may be you have to get it through to your brain that it's bl00dy hard but you can do it.
Re the doctors: Every morning from now start calling them half an hour after they open. Most people, if they need to cancel, will call first thing. That way you'll get in their face and eventually get an appt. Your mum is probably worried about you and lashing out. You could write it down to her?
| I really like your way of expressing the opinion and sharing the information. |
This is really nice post keep it up| 16singhar | http://www.16singhar.com/ |
| fast-weight-loss-tips | http://16singhar.com/fast-weight-loss-tips/ |
| green-tea-weight-loss | http://16singhar.com/green-tea-weight-loss/ |
| most-important-health-tips | http://16singhar.com/most-important-health-tips/ |
(edited 9 years ago)
