Worried about being alone...
I don't have any friends due to my solitary lifestyle but this is because I don't like talking to people. I find people are very self absorbed and therefore, talk about themselves constantly and what's the point being around people who don't as they're mostly likely 'ugly' and not worth my time. I would only talk to someone if they were attractive, so I at least gain some status and respect for my effort to formulate 'small talk' which I hate.
Now I see those around me forming friendships and having children. I never used to think about this 'family' malarkey but recently it's been occupying my thoughts more frequently. I never thought I would be one to have children because they're too demanding in most respects. I'd rather get a job and do what I want to do which is a lot of travelling but this is changing.
A part of me thinks that living alone is the worst possible life for anyone. People say they enjoy being lonely because they've been alone for so long that it is normal to them or they say it to retain their dignity by informing others that it was their choice to be lonely and not the choice of other people.
I'm worried about being one of these people by succumbing to the maw of loneliness where I live a lonely life and leave this world without leaving anything behind like children or a contribution of some kind where people will remember my name.
That being said, should I have children and a relationship, I don't think it would last partly because I'm quite a boring person. I prefer the company of the internet to real people and ironically I'm quite self centered because I think in terms like 'what would benefit me...' and 'I want' 'I need' etc but this is because I'm used to being alone!
Am I deluded or is being lonely a hard fact of life for some people like me?
Now I see those around me forming friendships and having children. I never used to think about this 'family' malarkey but recently it's been occupying my thoughts more frequently. I never thought I would be one to have children because they're too demanding in most respects. I'd rather get a job and do what I want to do which is a lot of travelling but this is changing.
A part of me thinks that living alone is the worst possible life for anyone. People say they enjoy being lonely because they've been alone for so long that it is normal to them or they say it to retain their dignity by informing others that it was their choice to be lonely and not the choice of other people.
I'm worried about being one of these people by succumbing to the maw of loneliness where I live a lonely life and leave this world without leaving anything behind like children or a contribution of some kind where people will remember my name.
That being said, should I have children and a relationship, I don't think it would last partly because I'm quite a boring person. I prefer the company of the internet to real people and ironically I'm quite self centered because I think in terms like 'what would benefit me...' and 'I want' 'I need' etc but this is because I'm used to being alone!
Am I deluded or is being lonely a hard fact of life for some people like me?
(edited 9 years ago)
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Original post by Pomum96
I think there are more and more people like you nowadays. We dont need to like everyone, but if you force yourself to mingle you might make a good friend, and a true friend is a very valuable thing.
Best advice ever.
Is this it. Really?
I know how you feel, sometimes when someone starts a conversation with me I'll try to talk as little as possible. Mainly because we're not talking about anything that I find important or that I enjoy conversing about. I spend most of my time in my room and I would currently choose this than going out with people. In school I never really had proper friends just because I couldn't never find that group which I clicked with. This lead to me not talking to anyone and becoming really scared of socialising with other people. I've seen counsellors but they just say I'm shy. But I know exactly how you feel. The feeling of not wanting to be alone. It's a big fear of mine, but I find it hard to overcome just because I can't find people that I enjoy being around. Also, why do you say 'ugly'
people are not worth your time?
people are not worth your time?
Psychopath much?
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Original post by reemaisthinking
How does this make you think of a psychopath?
Social Media is making us less social, I'd recommend taking a step away from the computer. It's not about status, or respect. Life is about 1 thing and 1 thing only. Happiness. If you are happy the way you are, crack on. But if you are unhappy, work on changing it, go outside, go to a gym, start slowly, dont just rush in head first, work into it.
I'm also worried about being lonely, specifically not having a girlfriend/wife one day. But the only way to change this is to be proactive. Try that.
I'm also worried about being lonely, specifically not having a girlfriend/wife one day. But the only way to change this is to be proactive. Try that.
Original post by Jakeh
Social Media is making us less social, I'd recommend taking a step away from the computer. It's not about status, or respect. Life is about 1 thing and 1 thing only. Happiness. If you are happy the way you are, crack on. But if you are unhappy, work on changing it, go outside, go to a gym, start slowly, dont just rush in head first, work into it.
I'm also worried about being lonely, specifically not having a girlfriend/wife one day. But the only way to change this is to be proactive. Try that.
I'm also worried about being lonely, specifically not having a girlfriend/wife one day. But the only way to change this is to be proactive. Try that.
I don't actually have Facebook. Does this make me a freak even by TSR standards? The reason why I don't have FB is because I don't have any friends to add but I also think it elicits a lot of jealously...
For a few days I THINK I'm happy with my life until I see someone who is happy but is living a different kind of life to mine. I then assess the similarities and differences in our life style and often come to the conclusion that theirs is better than mine for X reason. X is nearly always because they have friends or a relationship.
So having friends would make my happy but as I said, how do I get friends if I don't engage with social stimuli?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by QwerKiZ
I know how you feel, sometimes when someone starts a conversation with me I'll try to talk as little as possible. Mainly because we're not talking about anything that I find important or that I enjoy conversing about. I spend most of my time in my room and I would currently choose this than going out with people. In school I never really had proper friends just because I couldn't never find that group which I clicked with. This lead to me not talking to anyone and becoming really scared of socialising with other people. I've seen counsellors but they just say I'm shy. But I know exactly how you feel. The feeling of not wanting to be alone. It's a big fear of mine, but I find it hard to overcome just because I can't find people that I enjoy being around. Also, why do you say 'ugly'
people are not worth your time?
people are not worth your time?
Yes it is a terrible feeling!
By ugly people I mean people who take drugs or have some kind of mental illness.
Original post by QwerKiZ
How does this make you think of a psychopath?
Oh, just the beginning- the dismissal of people who don't want to constantly tLk about themselves to be 'ugly' and the desire to interact with attractive people to, at the very least, gain status.
Combined with the constant confusion between being alone and lonely.
Just a bit odd overall, the entire passage appears weirdly disconnected. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it.
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Original post by D.Wright
By ugly people I mean people who take drugs or have some kind of mental illness.
By ugly people I mean people who take drugs or have some kind of mental illness.
Sure you did
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Original post by D.Wright
Yes it is a terrible feeling!
By ugly people I mean people who take drugs or have some kind of mental illness.
By ugly people I mean people who take drugs or have some kind of mental illness.
I understand the drug part, but not the mental illness part.
Original post by D.Wright
I don't actually have Facebook. Does this make me a freak even by TSR standards? The reason why I don't have FB is because I don't have any friends to add but I also think it elicits a lot of jealously...
For a few days I THINK I'm happy with my life until I see someone who is happy but is living a different kind of life to mine. I then assess the similarities and differences in our life style and often come to the conclusion that theirs is better than mine for X reason. X is nearly always because they have friends or a relationship.
So having friends would make my happy but as I said, how do I get friends if I don't engage with social stimuli?
For a few days I THINK I'm happy with my life until I see someone who is happy but is living a different kind of life to mine. I then assess the similarities and differences in our life style and often come to the conclusion that theirs is better than mine for X reason. X is nearly always because they have friends or a relationship.
So having friends would make my happy but as I said, how do I get friends if I don't engage with social stimuli?
Find friends online? Meet them in real life?
Original post by QwerKiZ
I understand the drug part, but not the mental illness part.
I'm ok with mental illness provided it is not visible. If otherwise, it's ugly. It's my preference and if you don't like it then tough.
Original post by D.Wright
I'm ok with mental illness provided it is not visible. If otherwise, it's ugly. It's my preference and if you don't like it then tough.
Actually I take it back, psychopaths are much better at lying and blending/integrating into society. You're rubbish. A very interesting person though, if you behaved this way throughout school and such, I would have loved to see the reactions.
Where did you formulate these ideas?
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Original post by D.Wright
I don't actually have Facebook. Does this make me a freak even by TSR standards? The reason why I don't have FB is because I don't have any friends to add but I also think it elicits a lot of jealously...
For a few days I THINK I'm happy with my life until I see someone who is happy but is living a different kind of life to mine. I then assess the similarities and differences in our life style and often come to the conclusion that theirs is better than mine for X reason. X is nearly always because they have friends or a relationship.
So having friends would make my happy but as I said, how do I get friends if I don't engage with social stimuli?
For a few days I THINK I'm happy with my life until I see someone who is happy but is living a different kind of life to mine. I then assess the similarities and differences in our life style and often come to the conclusion that theirs is better than mine for X reason. X is nearly always because they have friends or a relationship.
So having friends would make my happy but as I said, how do I get friends if I don't engage with social stimuli?
But you're comparing you're whole life to someone's highlight reels. They show people what they want people to see. In reality, they have their problems and could even feel the same way you do.
Original post by reemaisthinking
Actually I take it back, psychopaths are much better at lying and blending/integrating into society. You're rubbish. A very interesting person though, if you behaved this way throughout school and such, I would have loved to see the reactions.
Where did you formulate these ideas?
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Where did you formulate these ideas?
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I don't believe I've expressed any ideas that are contrary to those expressed by most people. I'm sure the vast majority of people including you would not want to socialize with someone who's a drug addict or/and has obvious mental health problems. If you do, however, then touche, as you clearly are a psychopath.
Which idea offends you so?
Original post by QwerKiZ
But you're comparing you're whole life to someone's highlight reels. They show people what they want people to see. In reality, they have their problems and could even feel the same way you do.
Yes and this is exactly why I don't use FB.
Original post by D.Wright
I don't believe I've expressed any ideas that are contrary to those expressed by most people. I'm sure the vast majority of people including you would not want to socialize with someone who's a drug addict or/and has obvious mental health problems. If you do, however, then touche, as you clearly are a psychopath.
Which idea offends you so?
Which idea offends you so?
Socialising with mentally unstable people makes you a psychopath? Well then it must mean that everyone with a conscious is psychotic. Also, that's like saying: "Oh well, they're not as good as me so I can't talk to them." Also, drug addicts could be very controversial as many people could have started using in a time of depression and they are struggling to get out of it, and by you avoiding them could even damage them more.
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