Things that happened in school which ruined my self esteem
Ok so a lot of stuff happened in school, I was quite a well liked girl, a lot of the guys started to fancy me and I was quite popular.This was all new to me and weird that so many people suddenly liked me.Anyway I had the best time of my life but a while later, there was this one guy who really liked me, he asked me out, I thought it was kinda silly to go out with him since we were both kids, so of course I said no.Little did I know that he was going to be so immature about it.Him and all his mates started harassing me everyday about it.They would swear at me in the lunch hall, laugh at me whenever I walked by, I remember that it made me start to loose my confidence and I couldn't understand why he was being so rude, as I rejected him in the nicest way possible ( I'm always polite to everyone).Anyway, soon him and his friends began spreading rumours about me.The whole thing just made me close up and I felt like I had alot of hater all of a sudden.I went really quite in school and I honestly started to hate myself.I couldnt make sense of the situation and although friends tried to stick up for me nothing really helped and I hated going to school.This happened ages ago but I still haven't got closure, I find it hard to trust people and certain people remind me of these people who used to hate me in school.My family always ask me what happened to me as they saw that I was once soo confident and happy and suddenly miserable all the time.Do you think I should talk to someone about this, I havent even talked to my friends or sisters about it properly.I duno I just feel like it something I need to make sense of.I repressed a lot of it, I decided to forget about the confident me and I just wanted to dissapear.This was one of the situations which contributed to my lack of confidence and anxiety today.Can anyone offer any words of advice?
I was bullied in school and had few friends and was never invited to parties or birthdays.
My dad was a bin man and my mom was a dinner lady whilst going to a school in a posh suburb. I kept getting into fight with kids who would pick on me meaning i had no friends
I never learned to socialise or appropriate boundaries between creep/being friendly/being cold.
I told myself it would he ok when i became a adult and got a job. But when you dont learn how to make friends time doesnt change that.
Now I come home everyday from work making £32,000 a year but all the money in the world wont erase memories from school or make up for 10 years of lost social skills or self esteem. I wasnt allowed to play football at lunch time and now i never can
My dad was a bin man and my mom was a dinner lady whilst going to a school in a posh suburb. I kept getting into fight with kids who would pick on me meaning i had no friends
I never learned to socialise or appropriate boundaries between creep/being friendly/being cold.
I told myself it would he ok when i became a adult and got a job. But when you dont learn how to make friends time doesnt change that.
Now I come home everyday from work making £32,000 a year but all the money in the world wont erase memories from school or make up for 10 years of lost social skills or self esteem. I wasnt allowed to play football at lunch time and now i never can
Original post by Anonymous
Ok so a lot of stuff happened in school, I was quite a well liked girl, a lot of the guys started to fancy me and I was quite popular.This was all new to me and weird that so many people suddenly liked me.Anyway I had the best time of my life but a while later, there was this one guy who really liked me, he asked me out, I thought it was kinda silly to go out with him since we were both kids, so of course I said no.Little did I know that he was going to be so immature about it.Him and all his mates started harassing me everyday about it.They would swear at me in the lunch hall, laugh at me whenever I walked by, I remember that it made me start to loose my confidence and I couldn't understand why he was being so rude, as I rejected him in the nicest way possible ( I'm always polite to everyone).Anyway, soon him and his friends began spreading rumours about me.The whole thing just made me close up and I felt like I had alot of hater all of a sudden.I went really quite in school and I honestly started to hate myself.I couldnt make sense of the situation and although friends tried to stick up for me nothing really helped and I hated going to school.This happened ages ago but I still haven't got closure, I find it hard to trust people and certain people remind me of these people who used to hate me in school.My family always ask me what happened to me as they saw that I was once soo confident and happy and suddenly miserable all the time.Do you think I should talk to someone about this, I havent even talked to my friends or sisters about it properly.I duno I just feel like it something I need to make sense of.I repressed a lot of it, I decided to forget about the confident me and I just wanted to dissapear.This was one of the situations which contributed to my lack of confidence and anxiety today.Can anyone offer any words of advice?
I suspect you might find it helpful to talk all this through with a counsellor. It sounds as though a part of you wants to rediscover the 'old' you, and working through what happened to you, and having an independent outsider reassure you that none of it was your fault, will hopefully help you to achieve that.
Have you gone to university yet? It is a great opportunity to start with a clean slate because nobody will know who you were when you were at school. Maybe look at joining one or two clubs and societies that really interest you. Finding like-minded people is always a confidence boost.
Perhaps consider taking a look at this website too: http://bullyonline.org/workbully/why_me.htm (this is the 'why me' page, but if you follow links around the website you will find lots of interesting information that might help you to identify what happened, why it happened, and how you can try to move beyond it).
Original post by Crumpet1
I suspect you might find it helpful to talk all this through with a counsellor. It sounds as though a part of you wants to rediscover the 'old' you, and working through what happened to you, and having an independent outsider reassure you that none of it was your fault, will hopefully help you to achieve that.
Have you gone to university yet? It is a great opportunity to start with a clean slate because nobody will know who you were when you were at school. Maybe look at joining one or two clubs and societies that really interest you. Finding like-minded people is always a confidence boost.
Perhaps consider taking a look at this website too: http://bullyonline.org/workbully/why_me.htm (this is the 'why me' page, but if you follow links around the website you will find lots of interesting information that might help you to identify what happened, why it happened, and how you can try to move beyond it).
Have you gone to university yet? It is a great opportunity to start with a clean slate because nobody will know who you were when you were at school. Maybe look at joining one or two clubs and societies that really interest you. Finding like-minded people is always a confidence boost.
Perhaps consider taking a look at this website too: http://bullyonline.org/workbully/why_me.htm (this is the 'why me' page, but if you follow links around the website you will find lots of interesting information that might help you to identify what happened, why it happened, and how you can try to move beyond it).
Yes I just feel that I lost so much of myself, and although my confidence has slightly improved recently, its not fully back to how it was before, I still find it hard to stand up for myself,I still question who I am after basically forcing myself to forget the old me in order to feel less traumatised by the experience , and I still question why all that bullying happened and what 'I' did wrong to make it happen.I find myself thinking if only I never said this or did that then all that wouldn't have happened and everyone would have still liked me.Yea I have been to uni, but honestly I still had these issues in my mind and just didn't have enough confidence to join much societies.I am hoping to now go abroad and do some volunteering but I hate it when I have these days when I go back in my mind feeling sad about who I use to be and who I am now.I want to sort this out before sarting a fresh new experience with a fresh mind.
And I believe what triggered my thinking about this stuff, was an old friend of mine who I visited recently, she started to talk about all the fights that happened with me in school, and it brought back alot of painful memories.Straight away I began to feel just as I did back then.Some poeple really don't understand how hard it is for me to talk about those things. Everytime I have a conversation about it I get really depressed and I go back to analysing what happened back then.I do think it's healthy to talk about it to my friends who were there to an extent as I can explain to them how I felt, but this didn't happen.My friend just kept pushing the subject saying ' you lost your confidence since those days, WHY' I didn't have an answer I thought it would be quite clear since I went through alot of physical and emotional bullying and there was no one there to help.I managed to move past this and didn't think about it that deeply until now having the conversation with my friend.Now I can't stop thinking about it.My friend just seems adamant to want the old ' strong me ' back.I don't know how to explain it to her.
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