uni life-help

my parents will expect me to come home by 10pm every night. i really want to enjoy my freshers and clubbing etc

what can i tell them im doing, are there any societies that run at night or any lectures that take place late at night at unis - queen mary. i dont want to miss out

My parents are muslim too, and they wouldn't even let me stay out until 10! That's why I'll be moving out without them knowing. I can't let them control my life any more than they have been so I'm gonna be living on my own terms from now on and they can either accept it or not. Either way is fine as long as I don't waste my life trying to please them.

You can say that you have to get used to the uni and they have activities and stuff planned which means you'll have to stay very late and would be safer of you just spent the night at someone's place, or just beg them to let you go out and promise you won't drink or do any 'bad' stuff

i have no where to move out, i have tried reasoning with them before but its useless...my plan is to tranfer to another uni next year and tell my parents that i failed first year at qm so i had to move. i guess im stuck for another year

Dont worry about that you don't have to be living in uni halls to have a good social life - I'm gonna be living in private accommodation I both 4 other people and I haven't even officially booked the room yet! Plus, there will be loads of people dropping out (trust me) and a lot of people actually advertise free rooms to rent on TSR and other websites (just google it) throughout the year, mostly during the first couple of months, so it will all be new still and you can make friends with people. Also, if you go to freshers' events specifically for commuters and not in halls students (which are planned throughout the day) you can make friends with them and then rent a flat with them. Whatever you do, just make sure you'll be happy there's no point in going to uni if you're gonna hate your life there. Nonetheless, even if you decide not to move out and not be going on nights out (at least for this year) you'll still have friends from your course, societies, clubs etc so you won't miss out too much. Would your parents not let you stay overnight at a friend's place once in a while? (Mine didn't - not even when I was a kid and my friend was our NEIGHBOUR)

mateeee if i was allowed to have sleepovers there would be no problems at all, i would just lie to them and go to the club but like you they havent let me ever go to one all my life. i live about 50-60 mins away from the uni by tube, so they will never let me move out to live closer to the uni.

whats funny is that they want my 10 yr old bro to go to a islamic boarding school next year and its fine for him to be away from mum and dad but its not alright for me to stay at uni..............and im almost 19.

im not even muslim anymore but i havent told them and im scared to do so, ill defo wait till next year i think

You don't really have to tell them you're not muslim - just keep that to yourself so there's no chance of making things worse! And about moving out ... Whenever you're ready. You don't have to go to clubs and stuff to have fun - there'll be loads of people who aren't into that anyway!

they will probably disown me if i tell them i dont beleive in islam anymore. i feel so dependent on my parents. you know what my dad said to me the other day,i was watching youtube videos and he goes its 12am you should be sleeping, to which i replied i was watching a video on youtube..and he goes oh you have grown up now you think you can answer me back, dont forget youre living under my roof and im the head of the family, told me to turn it off and got really pissed...so i turned off the computer and went bed like i was a 6 year old. this is what i mean...i thought uni was going to be my ticket out of this hell hole but im not moving out anymore so thats that...

what kinda things do people do that dont go drinking or clubbing do at uni anyways?...thing is im an extrovert but im forced to behave like an introvert (no offence to anyone that is an introvert) so i cant hang out with people I LIKE and do thing I LIKE. if i dont get into my desired uni next year, ill just apply to transfer to a crappy uni where i can have fun and do my course at the same time.

i cant do this for 3/4 years straight, i will implode internally.

i know exactly what you mean ... my bed time is 10 o'clock!! One time my dad actually almost hit me when I was up by half ten. Just wait one more year and focus on getting those results so you can leave and never look back. I didn't get into my first choice of uni and went through clearing and going to nottingham trent (surprisingly good actually!) and I'm leaving next Thursday in the morning before anyone gets up. I made my deposit for accommodation today!! It's just one more year for you! Honestly, the best thing you can do is keep your head down and don't even speak to your dad (that's what I've been doing since I was 16). Whatever he says, I just say 'okay' and move on. Here's an article I read a couple of days ago ... It made me feel really good. You should read it

i know exactly what you mean ... my bed time is 10 o'clock!! One time my dad actually almost hit me when I was up by half ten. Just wait one more year and focus on getting those results so you can leave and never look back. I didn't get into my first choice of uni and went through clearing and going to nottingham trent (surprisingly good actually!) and I'm leaving next Thursday in the morning before anyone gets up. I made my deposit for accommodation today!! It's just one more year for you! Honestly, the best thing you can do is keep your head down and don't even speak to your dad (that's what I've been doing since I was 16). Whatever he says, I just say 'okay' and move on. Here's an article I read a couple of days ago ... It made me feel really good. You should read it

mann 10 o clock???he must be joking surely... i regret not rejecting qm on results day and trying for another uni thrpough clearinggg..sucks to be me.

atleast you have your ticket and can be off now, couldnt be happier for you my time will come soooon, if i havent done clubbing and drinking yet properly then im not really missing out am i (just this year) then i can be off to somewhere i like.

about the dad thing, my dad attacked me with a screwdriver just last year... he does not care about my well being if he repeatefly hit me in the head when i was younger..he used to ask me if i got bullied in school but guess what i didnt get bullied in school i got bullied at home already..forced to follow a religion i didnt want to and then get beaten for mistakes that i made.

you can enjoy your freedom nowwwww and if i was you i would deliberately party all night then be so hung over in the morning that i would skip my lecture the next day just becasue you can lool (dont miss too many lectures though hahahaa)

i read the article, shes fantastic and everything but i dont think i can just run away like that, atleast with uni you are going there for education and even our parents will understand that hahaha

i know now right, that woman in the article was pretty brave and I guess I do have it easier with student loans and uni. God I still can't believe I'm leaving in a few days! My whole life will be so different this time next year, you'll probably be in the same situation as me ... Preparing to leave and then actually enjoying your life!

And nd about the bed time thing? Yes I'm dead serious - I'm an 18 year old adult who has a bed time But not for much longer! Freshers week is in a couple of days and I'm gonna go CRAZY but then I wanna actually get my head down and do some work so I can graduate and have every possible opportunity and do whatever the f*ck I want

I can't believe what he did with the screwdriver ... My dad has punched and hit me but never with a weapon! If it gets serious don't hesitate to tell someone.

And for next year, get a part time or weekend job now if you can (I wasn't allowed to work ... So I have no money now and have to rely on a bank overdraft until loans come in) so you can save up money for the first few months of uni and the. You'll need to get a job there too so you'll never need him and can actually function on your own!

Funny thing is .. My parents actually think I'm repeating the year since I told them that I didn't get into my first choice and I never told them I went through clearing ... They'll have NO idea that I'm gonna be gone in 5 days now. Now that I'm actually writing all this, I can't believe all the crap we have to go through just to go to uni and have a normal life, when my friends are telling me their parents WANT them to go and be independent and enjoy their life and that they are even sending them money monthly to help them out ... That makes me jealous! But I guess well just have to be a tad more independent and when you think about it it actually makes you work harder for what you want. Just make sure you get decent grades this year!

hey hey, i have something important to tell you, for ages know my parents had doubted me about my "deen" their doubts have now been basically confirmed now. i was in the car with my dad and i started talking about apostasy to see what he thought about it but then the convo somehow got out of hand dont really know where it all went wrong but he started telling me ohh so you dont beleive in God anymore and da da da..when we got home he stormed out of the car and went to his room when he came in to the house. i am scared i really dont know what to do...should i 100% ignore him for a few days or should i go and say sorry

i wish i had parents like your friends who would let their children be so independent at a young age that they didnt even want to go uni for independence reasons. i also had a job interview at my local waitrose yesterday hope i get the job, i need to save up loads for next year...

I think it is so sad that this is happening in this day and age. It's also opened up my eyes that this isn't an issue that just affects Muslim girls. Good luck in your future endeavours and your going to love notts trent- I start on Friday too :-)


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