friend zones
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Original post by ilem
All throughout your post.
So men who develop feelings for women don't want to have a more intimate relationship? Which means sex?
Original post by Wick3d
So men who develop feelings for women don't want to have a more intimate relationship? Which means sex?
Sex is very far from being the only thing that differentiates friendships from relationships.
Original post by ilem
Sex is very far from being the only thing that differentiates friendships from relationships.
Which I mention anyway, so what's your point?
When you approach a person to form a friendship, neither party should feel entitled to - nor expect - the relationship to go any further than a friendship. If I intend to date a woman, I make that sentiment known early on. If she rejects me - oh well. She's my friend, she doesn't feel the same way, and I accept that and move on.
As you can see...
Original post by Wick3d
Which I mention anyway, so what's your point?
As you can see...
As you can see...
Original post by Wick3d
You are thinking about it wrong - Women don't "friendzone" men. Men friendzone themselves. Friendzoning happens when men have unrealistic expectations about a relationship. They act friendly with woman they intend to bone, wrongfully assuming all friendships naturally ascend into romantic relationships. Then, when it doesn't, they get pissy and stop being friendly.
When you approach a person to form a friendship, neither party should feel entitled to - nor expect - the relationship to go any further than a friendship. If I intend to date a woman, I make that sentiment known early on. If she rejects me - oh well. She's my friend, she doesn't feel the same way, and I accept that and move on.
If I make friends with a woman, and later develop romantic feelings for her - same boat. I tell her. If it's mutual - great, we start dating and see where things go from there. If the love turns out to be unrequited - oh well. I feel sad for a minute, move on, and keep being her friend. Because she's my friend, not a potential sex partner that I'm nice to in the hopes I'll get sex.
The friendzone is a state of mind - not a state of being. The only way to be in the friendzone is to think you are in it, and place yourself there. You get "stuck" in the mental friendzone by not moving on when you are rejected. So yes, both woman and men can be "friendzoned". But more men pretend to be friends for sex than woman do.
When you approach a person to form a friendship, neither party should feel entitled to - nor expect - the relationship to go any further than a friendship. If I intend to date a woman, I make that sentiment known early on. If she rejects me - oh well. She's my friend, she doesn't feel the same way, and I accept that and move on.
If I make friends with a woman, and later develop romantic feelings for her - same boat. I tell her. If it's mutual - great, we start dating and see where things go from there. If the love turns out to be unrequited - oh well. I feel sad for a minute, move on, and keep being her friend. Because she's my friend, not a potential sex partner that I'm nice to in the hopes I'll get sex.
The friendzone is a state of mind - not a state of being. The only way to be in the friendzone is to think you are in it, and place yourself there. You get "stuck" in the mental friendzone by not moving on when you are rejected. So yes, both woman and men can be "friendzoned". But more men pretend to be friends for sex than woman do.
Points in bold. You fail to make the distinction between romantic and sexual attraction with an aim to present these people as some sort of shallow, sex-driven individuals with an entitlement problem. That is a huge oversimplification.
Original post by ilem
Points in bold. You fail to make the distinction between romantic and sexual attraction with an aim to present these people as some sort of shallow, sex-driven individuals with an entitlement problem. That is a huge oversimplification.
But people are shallow? We are driven by our most basic needs and sex tends to top the lot.
Original post by Wick3d
But people are shallow? We are driven by our most basic needs and sex tends to top the lot.
Haha fair enough. To be honest it's easy to get over it and remain friends when you're just after sex. Not so much when actual feelings are involved.
Original post by ilem
Haha fair enough. To be honest it's easy to get over it and remain friends when you're just after sex. Not so much when actual feelings are involved.
Emotions always complicate things. I just prefer to be completely honest and transparent, it helps with the healing process.
Original post by Wick3d
Emotions always complicate things. I just prefer to be completely honest and transparent, it helps with the healing process.
Definitely. Which is why I prefer to break things off in such cases as deep down I'm not truly after friendship after having developed feelings, and friendship just won't suffice.
Original post by Carpe Vinum
It really irritates me when guys complain about being "friendzoned". I'm sorry but a girl does not owe you anything, if you like her then she doesn't have to like you back. And when a girl says "I think we should just be friends", it's better than saying "ewwww no way in hell would that happen, stay the hell away from me".
This.
To quote Daniel Radcliffe, "I definitely think the idea of friend zone is just men going, 'This woman won't have sex with me.'"
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Colour Me Pretty
This.
To quote Daniel Radcliffe, "I definitely think the idea of friend zone is just men going, 'This woman won't have sex with me.'"
Posted from TSR Mobile
To quote Daniel Radcliffe, "I definitely think the idea of friend zone is just men going, 'This woman won't have sex with me.'"
Posted from TSR Mobile
A million times yes.
Original post by cole-slaw
But why would anyone want to "be with" a girl that doesn't fancy them anyway?
The whole concept makes no sense. You're either compatible, in which case you date, or you're not, in which case you don't.
The whole notion of rejection is the wrong way of looking at it. It either works or it doesn't.
The whole concept makes no sense. You're either compatible, in which case you date, or you're not, in which case you don't.
The whole notion of rejection is the wrong way of looking at it. It either works or it doesn't.
Not everyone who gets in a relationship is compatible anyway .
Guys get friendzoned because girls don't see them in a romantic light and visa versa .
Original post by blueskyblue
Not everyone who gets in a relationship is compatible anyway .
Guys get friendzoned because girls don't see them in a romantic light and visa versa .
Guys get friendzoned because girls don't see them in a romantic light and visa versa .
Any relationship is a dialogue that slowly and organically progresses towards a romantic attachment. If you get to the point where you think a relationship is on the cards but she doesn't, you can't have been listening very hard during the lead up.
The idea of being "rejected" just bemuses me. How could you have possibly misread the situation so horribly badly for you to be completely, spectacularly, wrong about whether or not a girl wants to date you?
Original post by Sofia D
Why do men hate being in friendzones with girls when they do not accept to date them
There's no such thing as a friend zone. And to protect our egos/ sense of pride.
Original post by cole-slaw
Any relationship is a dialogue that slowly and organically progresses towards a romantic attachment. If you get to the point where you think a relationship is on the cards but she doesn't, you can't have been listening very hard during the lead up.
The idea of being "rejected" just bemuses me. How could you have possibly misread the situation so horribly badly for you to be completely, spectacularly, wrong about whether or not a girl wants to date you?
The idea of being "rejected" just bemuses me. How could you have possibly misread the situation so horribly badly for you to be completely, spectacularly, wrong about whether or not a girl wants to date you?
Did you take relationshipology or something ? God you really come across so arrogant in your posts , you don't know everything so just chill . This is true for some cases but you can't speak for the world.
Original post by blueskyblue
Did you take relationshipology or something ? God you really come across so arrogant in your posts , you don't know everything so just chill . This is true for some cases but you can't speak for the world.
Sociology with some psychology including relationship studies, yes.
I don't know everything, no. I am just voicing my opinion on some depictions I see as being incongruous with both real life and academic research.
Ugh, I'm always in the friendzone. I do alright with guys, generally, but I guess I'm more friend material than girlfriend material. It is annoying sometimes, however it's not as annoying as developing feelings for a guy who is already your friend, because I think guys are generally much more reluctant to "un-friendzone" a girl, than if it were the other way around. I always fall for my friends and it drives me mad!
Translate "sex" into what it actually means which is "intimacy," "relationship" or "girlfriend." If a guy says "I can't get laid," what he is saying is "I'm afraid I'm not attractive to women," or he might be saying "I'm afraid I'll never know love, intimacy, have a family, or a wife." Men have no other language to talk about such things. If it were really about sex and sexual release, he'd just go see a prostitute. Ask yourself why any of these guys would even bother.
If a guy shows an interest in you, you are already validated. He can run along after you while you whine about guys you find more attractive than him and use him as an emotional tampon. But since the guy is typically saddled with the responsibility of initiating relationships, he is only validated when a woman consents to sex and intimacy. Do you not get that? How could it possibly be this difficult for you to put the shoe on the other foot? It's like it's totally beyond your imagination. Why is your validation morally superior to his? And who put men in this position, since it's not like they have any power over being saddled with the responsibility to initiate relationships. If they stopped, the species would die out.
If a guy shows an interest in you, you are already validated. He can run along after you while you whine about guys you find more attractive than him and use him as an emotional tampon. But since the guy is typically saddled with the responsibility of initiating relationships, he is only validated when a woman consents to sex and intimacy. Do you not get that? How could it possibly be this difficult for you to put the shoe on the other foot? It's like it's totally beyond your imagination. Why is your validation morally superior to his? And who put men in this position, since it's not like they have any power over being saddled with the responsibility to initiate relationships. If they stopped, the species would die out.
Original post by Nerol
Ugh, I'm always in the friendzone. I do alright with guys, generally, but I guess I'm more friend material than girlfriend material. It is annoying sometimes, however it's not as annoying as developing feelings for a guy who is already your friend, because I think guys are generally much more reluctant to "un-friendzone" a girl, than if it were the other way around. I always fall for my friends and it drives me mad!
Really ? Reallly ?
Girls are much more to be like "ohh I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship we have , you mean so much to me etc " granted guys will be the same most likely.
But with guys if you can them to sleep with you they will start to see you differently , and tbh that should not be that much of a struggle
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