Extenuating circumstances form filled out by college for Cambridge application

I've always wanted to apply to Cambridge, and I am, as far as I know, capable of achieving highly enough in A2 to get there, as I was predicted A at AS, until a load of crap happened (see list below). So after I ended up with three B grades at AS, I emailed the college I have the most interest in at Cambridge to see whether with an extenuating circumstances form filled out, I'd still have a chance at interview. And they said yes!

The problem now is my college. Ever since I told a tutor that I wanted to apply to Cambridge, they've been hinting that I wouldn't make it, saying things like "Only 5 students in the history of the college went to Oxbridge", "what is it about Cambridge that you like?", "here's a list of unis that take C and D grades that have something almost close to something you said you kind of liked!" and my personal bug bear "you have to be realistic; you're not going to get the grades." I understand that sometimes you just have to accept that it can't happen, but I was so upset that the college seemed determined to stop me from even thinking about applying to a top university!

I know that it's going to be hard, but I'm prepared to work for the grades that I'll need if I get an offer. The thing is, if the college don't support my application, why would they fill out the form? And there's some circumstances they don't even know about! So how are they going to be able to fill it in?

The circumstances are:
- I was ill for a lot of the year, this is an AS retake year, and I was still ill last year and unable to attend at times due to physical sickness.
- I have caring responsibilities for my mother and younger sister, often meaning I have to cook in the evenings, wash clothes or dishes (not just chores; wash all of them, all of the time), help on public transport etc.
- I have had to take up work to alleviate financial burden on my family.
- At times I was unable to attend due to financial issues.
- I live about 40 miles from college, so I'm often out 7am to 7pm, exhausted when I get home, and still have to cook!
- Currently talking with GP, as it seems I may have had depression and or GAD plus ADHD, undiagnosed, throughout my two AS years.
- Whilst at college, my grandmother died and my uncle was diagnosed with Parkinson's. Twofold effect of having to go to America to help move him to assisted living and tie up the estate, therefore missing college time, and worsening of my mum's condition (her side of the family, obviously)

So I had a lot on my plate last year, which is part of the reason that I'm even being considered. Does anyone have experience or know what to do? Can they refuse to do it despite the circumstances? What if they miss something so I lose any place I might otherwise have been offered? I get a new tutor this year, so that might help, but they're always so negative about it, and frequently try and tell me that I don't have a hope in hell, just not in those words.

For anyone wondering, a lot of those have now calmed down or were sorted entirely. I plan to stay near college during part of the week on some weeks as the financial situation eases, I'm going to get diagnoses and any necessary treatment from the GP, the bereavement was a while back so my mum's feeling better and we've adapted some stuff at home so my mum can be more independent, plus my dad is feeling better. And my illness from last year is under control, so I'm in a good place to start the next academic year.

In conclusion; has anyone had to do that form? Do you get to talk to the person writing, see copies and generally make sure it's all said? Who writes it? Can they refuse? Any information will be much appreciated.

I don't have any experience with this specific form, but I just wanted to give you some general advice as it may take a while for someone with specific experience to come along.

If I were in your position, I would organize a meeting with whoever is going to be your referee at college (if you don't know this yet, then ask). Unfortunately, you are going to have to be very open with this specific person about your circumstances. This may be difficult for you but do remember that referees are going to hear all sorts of personal circumstances from students every year. I'm sure they'll be discrete and keep things confidential.

To this meeting, take along the email, and the form, as well as any proof you have of specific circumstances, especially those you haven't discussed with the college previously. It is likely to be a long meeting and could become upsetting as you are likely to need to talk through the circumstances and how everything is affecting you.

Do be aware that not every single one of the issues you mention would be considered extenuating circumstances in all cases, and the tutor may not think it is appropriate to put every single one on the form. Try to go in with an open mind, and listen to the points they put across- if you really disagree, go back to Cambridge and ask their opinion.

The ones I think that are least likely to be considered/most likely to be problematic-
-Having to work. Many students work for all sorts of reasons, including financial, and they aren't all considered to have extenuating circumstances. Is your paid work very time consuming compared to what a student would usually work, and can you show that all the hours you work are essential? It's something that's probably relevant to mention for the reference, but may not be totally appropriate for this form, depending on the circumstances of your work.

-Having a long commute on its own wouldn't be considered extenuating circumstances, although I can see why you've mentioned it in terms of painting an overall picture.

-Undiagnosed conditions can be hard to explain/evidence on extenuating circumstances forms. It would be a good idea to get a letter from your GP explaining the symptoms you have and how these affect you, as well as anything else they feel able to say in your support.

I hope your college prove co-operative, but all you can do is persuade them to fill in the form. I hope they will do it, especially as Cambridge have said your application would be considered. However, you may need to compromise and listen to their opinions about what they write, as well as be willing to answer any questions they may have.

If they are very unhelpful, then maybe you could ask if another suitable person (e.g. your GP) could fill in part or all of the form.

Finally, do consider places other than Cambridge. It is super competitive, and lots of fantastic applicants get rejected every year. I hope you get an offer, but you do need to research other options- if nothing else, you need somewhere to chose as an insurance choice. If you show that you are looking at a wide range of places, and trying to be realistic, you may find your college become more supportive. I don't think their attitude is good, but they are probably trying to be helpful in their own way.

Good luck with everything, and I hope next year is better for you.

I have considered other options too, and am looking at ones at the higher end, like York, and slightly lower, closer to the grades from this year, like Lancaster. I understand the need to look at other options, but I'm also really keen on this one!!!

I have to say, most of your extenuating circumstances are slightly contradictory and don't make very much sense. Not to put you on trial or anything but if a random er on the Internet can see fault with your circumstances, then a university will just discard them seeing them as false.

You comment on your family finances, saying that you had trouble studying as you had to undertake work to support your family, but you also say you went to America during the year to help sort out your Uncle's estate. If you can afford to fly to America then it seems that your finances are not as bad as they seem. There are also government benefits available for people with health situaltions, including carer's allowance, which you would have been able to get if you were a full time carer for family members.

You also say travelling to your college was hard as it was 40 miles away. Surely there would've been a college closer than 40 miles away as it's quite a distance to travel. For example, there are three different colleges within a 10 mile radius that provide a level courses, and two schools that also provide students with a levels.

You also say you were ill for a lot of the year, but you also say you were a full time carer. The way a university will potentially see this is that if you were ill, but well enough to care for other family members, then you would've been well enough to attend your classes, if your education is as important as you say.

Apologies if this may be hard to read, just telling you what it seems like to me. You may want to pick and choose what is written on the form, do it makes a bit more sense