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Get the impression many girls pass over me for the same reason

Just get the feeling many girls that are interested in me, i.e. eyeing me up tend to turn away from the possibility of a relationship with me (im a guy) for the same reason. The reason being I don't really have any friends/feel the need to hang around with anyone. To a lot of these women I get the impression this is a big deal. To me though it is just the way I am, its not really so much a choice, a lot of people can drain me, I find it exhausting sometimes and get quite tired and hence quiet. I'm ok with acquaintances and hanging around with the odd person for a while depending on how well I know them.

Thing is I get the impression this makes me a no go area for many women that I can tell are attracted to me. Just wondered whether the women on here would be put off by it?
Why would it be a big deal? I'm an introvert myself and prefer a few close friends to loads of aquaintences who I hardly know. I don't get it when people go out in massive groups - you don't even get time to talk to anyone :rolleyes:

Anyway OP I don't think anyone cares that you don't have many friends
I think it's probably because people tend to get a 'feel' for the person from watching them and how they interact with others, seen as you don't they don't know how you're like. Plus, people tend to assume those with no friends are boring, maybe that's why too :redface:
Reply 3
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Why would it be a big deal? I'm an introvert myself and prefer a few close friends to loads of aquaintences who I hardly know. I don't get it when people go out in massive groups - you don't even get time to talk to anyone :rolleyes:

Anyway OP I don't think anyone cares that you don't have many friends


I don't know just seems to be many of the women where there has been attraction have opted for another guy that I often get the feeling they are not as attracted to but see them as a better fit as they are more socialable, i.e have friends, better at interacting. So it kind of feels like a snub to me for not being good at this aspect of life, I would if I could but I can't. So I kind of get fed up of going round the same old circle that seems impossible to get out of. It's just something I feel many women devalue men a lot that aren't good on the social front and kind of look for a way of getting away from their feelings for you by seeking a more social guy even if they are not as attracted to him. It's kind of frustrating, kind of the way it looks to me anyway. I mean I probably do come across as pretty on my own and socially awkward/quiet at social gatherings.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know just seems to be many of the women where there has been attraction have opted for another guy that I often get the feeling they are not as attracted to but see them as a better fit as they are more socialable, i.e have friends, better at interacting. So it kind of feels like a snub to me for not being good at this aspect of life, I would if I could but I can't. So I kind of get fed up of going round the same old circle that seems impossible to get out of. It's just something I feel many women devalue men a lot that aren't good on the social front and kind of look for a way of getting away from their feelings for you by seeking a more social guy even if they are not as attracted to him. It's kind of frustrating, kind of the way it looks to me anyway. I mean I probably do come across as pretty on my own and socially awkward/quiet at social gatherings.


Depends on the woman - if she's like me she won't care, in fact, introverted guys are great IMO. I have no interest in a party animal.

But more extroverted women might
Reply 5
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Depends on the woman - if she's like me she won't care, in fact, introverted guys are great IMO. I have no interest in a party animal.

But more extroverted women might


Hmmm, think you could be right. Guess the thing us there often seems to be attraction to more extroverted women, not entirely sure why, maybe they come across as more vivacious, or they have something I don't, more extrovert, etc and vice versa. Again I don't really chose, its just where the chemistry often seems to be, an introverted woman would be easier for sure but they rarely seem attracted to me, although you wouldn't have to to be very introverted to look extroverted compared to me I think. The latest girl I have been interested in isn't an all out party type that some of them that have turned up, still she goes to parties here and there and is more outgoing than me. So don't know what to do really.
Original post by Anonymous
Hmmm, think you could be right. Guess the thing us there often seems to be attraction to more extroverted women, not entirely sure why, maybe they come across as more vivacious, or they have something I don't, more extrovert, etc and vice versa. Again I don't really chose, its just where the chemistry often seems to be, an introverted woman would be easier for sure but they rarely seem attracted to me, although you wouldn't have to to be very introverted to look extroverted compared to me I think. The latest girl I have been interested in isn't an all out party type that some of them that have turned up, still she goes to parties here and there and is more outgoing than me. So don't know what to do really.


Also are you sure these women aren't attracted to you? I come across as very extroverted but I'm actually not, a lot of people are surprised when they get to know me how "quiet" I am for lack of a better word, as they assume because I'm confident and friendly I'll be extroverted.

Have you spoken to this girl?
Get some friends somehow. Women generally like a man to have a social life .
Original post by bittr n swt
Get some friends somehow. Women generally like a man to have a social life .


We really aren't bothered.
Reply 9
Original post by Tyrion_Lannister
Also are you sure these women aren't attracted to you? I come across as very extroverted but I'm actually not, a lot of people are surprised when they get to know me how "quiet" I am for lack of a better word, as they assume because I'm confident and friendly I'll be extroverted.

Have you spoken to this girl?


I've spoken to her once, she was friendly and nice, she spoke for a little bit but because of the attraction there it wasn't real easy perhaps for either of us and she clammed up after a while. The fact that I was asking the questions and she wasn't made me think that maybe she was disinterested, but I'm thinking now that it seems that she's perhaps more shy even though she seems outgoing usually. Found that before with a girl that was apparently very party going and a bit of a motor mouth, didn't realise it at the time though, she didn't interact much with me, was what I would call extrovert and giving me looks so perhaps the last person you would expect to be embarrassed but it looks as if she was looking back. Also, know that she had, had sex with other guys, apparently, and probably would not doubt her there so idk maybe she was more used to guys coming onto her real string and going the whole way. Still in any case a reoccurring problem it seems. I probably don't come across as real confident but I'm not really a quivering mess either I can interact more easily on more work orientated or academic stuff or matter of fact stuff.

So, if introverted girls hide there feelings more than extroverted girls and perhaps don't even look at the guys they like then I'm not really sure what to do there to tell that they are interested?
Lol, man I feel so good about the fact I have no desire for a girlfriend when I see threads like these. The sooner guys realise they can have good lives without superficial validation from women, the better. No rat race for me :smile:

The simple fact is, OP, that women want a sociable guy because to them a greater social status, among both men and women, indicates a competitive potential mate. Women are very competitive amongst one another, so when they enter a relationship they always want to be sure that they've claimed that guy from someone else (to feel superior, you see). Of course they like any ascendance in social status they get too. Like all the other traits women prefer in men, wanting a sociable guy can be traced to wholly self-serving gain.

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(edited 9 years ago)

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