The sensitive type (male) - a turn off?

Right I will keep this as brief as possible, so that I don't bore you. :smile:

Anyway, I have read numerous times on this forum that 'girls' dig for the guy that are sensitive, caring, considerate etc etc In other word, from my interpretation; they dig for the guy that likes to express his emotions.

I am the above type of guy. But I have found that in my experience that this seems to really off-putting for many girls. Even with the girls that say that they like this attribute in a guy.
Like for example, I have been in situations when I have had interest from girls, so instead of acting like the 'sensitive' guy; I refrain from expressing myself. Rather I just give them the illusion that I am carefree (which I am anyway), and let them talk away about whatever issues they may have. At this point, they seem to be so much more interested in me. I can only assume that this is because they want me to open up, and thus see this as a challenge;plus I am listening to what they have to say, rather then talking about myself.

The problem occurs after I finally give in and open up. I am quite modest, like I don't like to have an ego about things. I would be honest, like I would not be afraid in pointing out my flaws. I would compliment them if neccessary. Eventually, I have just found that they begin to lose interest, like they wont actively say it, but they would flirt less incomparison to before and are less likely to dish out compliments. At this point I get very very confused and so become very wary of doing this in this future; unless I am actually going out with the girl.

After being in a relationship, I find that girls are different then. Like they like to be with an 'expressive' individual. It's just during the pulling stage it seems problomatic.

If I was to derive a conclusion from the above. My theory is that being too "sensitive" could be a turn off because it could equate to "underconfidence" and "wimp" - I am neither.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

username47781

Alot of girls i know crave a guy who is sensitive and caring.

Reply 2

Joachim

Anonymous

My theory is that being too "sensitive" could be a turn off because it could equate to "underconfidence" and "wimp".

You nailed it.

Look, I'm not scared of sharing my emotions or feelings either since I'm about as metro as you get, but there are limits. Even girls have limits when it comes to emotions, although the limits are pretty far out for girls :P Thank you PMS :wink:

Just keep it sensible, don't get all creepy on her and tell her of you childhood traumas when your mother used to hide your toys or play around with the fusebox so you'd stop watching TV :wink:

Reply 3

Yahooey

The amazing Yahooey says there is a difference between a man who is comfortable expressing his emotions and an emo, girly man. Being open with your feelings and stuff is fine, it's when you start becoming emotional to the degree that a woman is that it's a turn off for most women. Remember, women already have one pussy, they don't need another.

The amazing Yahooey has spoken.

Reply 4

Harv616

Carl1982

Alot of girls i know crave a guy who is sensitive and caring.

When they find him they will get bored and go out with some prick who screws them about.

Reply 5

Joachim

BhArJ

When they find him they will get bored and go out with some prick who screws them about.

Oh My God so true!

I don't get it, I've experienced this multiple times.

Those girls are the kind of girls who end up marrying wife beaters and rapers and then staying with them.

Reply 6

Christina

I personally don't agree. My other half for instance is the exact description of what you are talking about. He is extremely caring and sensitive, however I don't get bored because these are only two of his traits and there is far more to an individual than just this. I prefer the sensitive type to the opposite as then generally they are more reasonable, prepared to communicate etc.
So for me I back the the sensitive ones!!

EDIT: I spose this is just some girls, and it is definitely not ALL girls.

Reply 7

fat_hobbit

Yahooey

This guy makes me laugh with his third person perspective.

Reply 8

Anthonyjm71

Christina

I agree l'm one of the more sensitve ones for sure. :redface:

Reply 9

Zafda

some extra sensitive guys come across as just friends, thats the problem with being sensitive, there is no clear line between under sensitive and over.
also some sensitive guys come across as gay, so if you're trying to impress a girl that isn't the best way around it.

girls always complain, i'm a girl and i do wonder why guys aren't sensitive enough or why they're so oblivious to the obvious, but i suppose thats why girls like guys.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Joachim

Oh My God so true!

I don't get it, I've experienced this multiple times.

Those girls are the kind of girls who end up marrying wife beaters and rapers and then staying with them.

Yes that is true in my experience. Like the guys that get all the girls at university are the guys that are the least sensitive; rather they are the contray;insensitive "players", who the girls moan about but at the same time fall for...

In other words, they would do what they want to do, rather then taking her feelings into account...

I just dont get it.

Reply 11

Daveinnorfolk

I've found that, being how i am people often thing on first impression i am gay. I am very 'arty' so use a lot of hand gestures etc without realising it, am very open emotionally and not scared of crying to anyone.. In others being feminine and caring definietly is a hinderance

Reply 12

Elusive

Everyone's different.

Some girls like the sensitive, caring type of guy, and some simply.. don't. They'd rather have the kind of guy who messes them about and such (treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen and all that =P)

I like someone who is 'open' and can express their feelings but then again, I couldn't be doing with an 'emo girly man', as someone so aptly described.

It's all down to personal preference. :]

Reply 13

Ross_j

Joachim

Just keep it sensible, don't get all creepy on her and tell her of you childhood traumas when your mother used to hide your toys or play around with the fusebox so you'd stop watching TV :wink:

spot on

Reply 14

Christina

I think it is just a case of be who you are and **** everything else.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Zafda

Well I have acted insensitive/overconfident before (just so I can see what reaction I would get) i.e. by talking about other girls (in regard on how your weekend went), but at the same time complimenting her too in a conversation. I have found that by acting like your so *sought* after, topped with an ego the size of everest, gives them the illusion that you are a good *catch*. At which point I find that I am more likely to get attention/compliments. This seems to be more acceptable in my experience anyway if you are trying to impress a girl then by being an 'emo-sensitive' guy. Which is just irritating, as they are likely to be much more level-headed and honest.

I hate acting over-confident, because it just isn't me. Not because what I say isn't true, but because I really hate boasting;a trait I despise.

Reply 16

Ross_j

massive difference between boasting and talking yourself up in my opinion.

Reply 17

amywalters

In personal experience, i'd say that I usually want the opposite of whatever the guy is. My current boyfriend is sensitive when i really really push him to the edge.

Generally i just have to know that he loves me and thats the way it is. I wish he was more sensitive and considerate, maybe just at times, but then if he was totally loving I wouldnt appreciate anything he did for me. It really stands out that when he buys me a huge birthday present, i then see he has put a lot of effort into it.

If, he was very sensitive, it'd be nice to get that caring feeling like he understands me, but then we'd never argue and never be able to push forward things in our own relationship - like overcoming our pasts, or if I have a problem with him and his emotional behaviour, there would be no scope to change.

I love him the way he is, and it drives me up the garden path when he doesnt think like me, but hes a bloke, and thats what friends are for. Be nice when its necessary, even if you notice that she wants attention, just avoid it, but then make it up to her afterwards. So def, a happy medium :smile:

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Ross_j

massive difference between boasting and talking yourself up in my opinion.

Your right; I was referring to the latter.

Talking yourself up is good, but just doing that because you want to give her a certain 'impression' is what I disagree with.

Reply 19

Ross_j

completely agree, i hate fake people. i'm a very confident person because i really like myself so i end up talking myself up quite a lot, but i'm not one of these people that wants to talk about me all the time, i like getting to know thoer people and seeing who they really are.