The Student Room Group

Introverts

I was remembering reading a book last year that I found very interesting, and I wanted to see everyone's opinions on the topic.

The topic was essentially introverts, how they are treated within society and the role they play.
There are different kinds of introverts and extroverts, but for now let's just stick with the two terms.

Extroverts tend to not understand introverts. They often mistake someone preferring their own company or not liking crowds for them having no social skills or being weird.
We live in a society which is Extrovert Ideal - the belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spot light. Someone who works well in teams and socialises in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual.
"Introversion - along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness - is now a second class personality trait.

Here's the thing. Some of our greatest ideas, art and invensions - from the theory of evolution to van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer - came from quiet people. Without introverts, we would be devoid of many important things in our society."

Should we value introverts more? Shouldn't we make being an introvert less of a thing to mock and find weird, and more of something that is not only acceptable but is supported.

Being an introvert isn't the same as being unsocial, rude, or weird. It is a legitimate personality trait, that we shouldn't have to suppress.

Ideas?

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Reply 1
Original post by Emaemmaemily
I was remembering reading a book last year that I found very interesting, and I wanted to see everyone's opinions on the topic.

The topic was essentially introverts, how they are treated within society and the role they play.
There are different kinds of introverts and extroverts, but for now let's just stick with the two terms.

Extroverts tend to not understand introverts. They often mistake someone preferring their own company or not liking crowds for them having no social skills or being weird.
We live in a society which is Extrovert Ideal - the belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spot light. Someone who works well in teams and socialises in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual.
"Introversion - along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness - is now a second class personality trait.

Here's the thing. Some of our greatest ideas, art and invensions - from the theory of evolution to van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer - came from quiet people. Without introverts, we would be devoid of many important things in our society."

Should we value introverts more? Shouldn't we make being an introvert less of a thing to mock and find weird, and more of something that is not only acceptable but is supported.

Being an introvert isn't the same as being unsocial, rude, or weird. It is a legitimate personality trait, that we shouldn't have to suppress.

Ideas?




*inaudibly mumbles in agreement*
Hear, hear [said in a drunk manner, having been drinking alone]
Although I don't agree with the statement on sensitivity, after all, these days people seem to be encouraged to be "offended" by anything and everything, therefore there is a need to be incredibly (by which I mean stupidly) sensitive about everything for fear of offending somebody who's opinion doesn't matter.
Original post by Jammy Duel
Hear, hear [said in a drunk manner, having been drinking alone]
Although I don't agree with the statement on sensitivity, after all, these days people seem to be encouraged to be "offended" by anything and everything, therefore there is a need to be incredibly (by which I mean stupidly) sensitive about everything for fear of offending somebody who's opinion doesn't matter.


That part was a quote from the book.

You could read it as sensitivity towards others though, possibly?

I agree, people do become offtended easily. But then I also see a lot of "man up" comments, and people taunting those who "can't take a joke" or "dont understand banter", which could relate to that particular comment on sensitivity?
Original post by Jammy Duel
Hear, hear [said in a drunk manner, having been drinking alone]
Although I don't agree with the statement on sensitivity, after all, these days people seem to be encouraged to be "offended" by anything and everything, therefore there is a need to be incredibly (by which I mean stupidly) sensitive about everything for fear of offending somebody who's opinion doesn't matter.



Original post by Emaemmaemily
That part was a quote from the book.

You could read it as sensitivity towards others though, possibly?

I agree, people do become offtended easily. But then I also see a lot of "man up" comments, and people taunting those who "can't take a joke" or "dont understand banter", which could relate to that particular comment on sensitivity?


Sensitivity is one of those words which when used no one really understands the intended meaning of.
Original post by Emaemmaemily
That part was a quote from the book.

You could read it as sensitivity towards others though, possibly?

I agree, people do become offtended easily. But then I also see a lot of "man up" comments, and people taunting those who "can't take a joke" or "dont understand banter", which could relate to that particular comment on sensitivity?

But I would say a lot of the time the "man up" style comments are as a consequence of being offended by everything. I wouldn't be surprised if these comments would be few and far between if we didn't live in a society where people are almost encouraged to be "offended" by everything, so when people claim offense it will be taken seriously. [Some of] the papers are just full of examples of these things (some being people writing about how offended they are, others at how stupid they are). One example I've seen is this: in a village nearby there is an annual scarecrow competition, as with many other places, and this year's theme was musicals. Somebody decided to put a figure of Jesus (I think it was on the cross), obvious Jesus Christ Superstar, and somebody made a complaint and the council made them take it down. So, who exactly was genuinely offended? A Buddhist? A Jew? An atheist? Or, much more likely, somebody who just wanted to kick up a fuss knowing that the council would pander to their "offended" little ass.

The author might also have meant it as empathy, but as Borkenhead said, it's really hard to know what they really mean, especially without better context.
I wasn't disagreeing with you, lol.

Anyway, it'll be interesting to see other people's views on this.
I'm an introvert, and it wasn't until starting work that I realised how much it was holding me back. At school you can get away with being an introvert, as you can be quiet in class and never put your hand up, but your intelligence will come through in homework, test results, and so on. At work your boss has many, many other things to do other than keep track of their employees, and you can't rely on having your good work noticed and appreciated if you quietly get on with it in the corner. You need to speak out, show what good work you have done, make an effort to stay in constant communication with the boss.... as it is then that they start to notice and reward you appropriately. This is where the extroverts have the advantage, and for me it was either quietly seethe in the corner about how hard done by I was, or it was up to me to do something about it and get over it and to adopt more extroverted traits in certain situations. I have to say forcing myself out of my comfort zone has helped immeasurably in other aspects of my life too.

More and more it is apparent that in an ideal world people won't judge a book by it's cover, but that realistically no one has the time to read the ****ing book so you have to do everything you can to sell it, and that's what the extrovert is best at. I don't think it does any good to say things like society should be more accommodating of introverts and that it should be encouraged.
Reply 8
Original post by Emaemmaemily
I was remembering reading a book last year that I found very interesting, and I wanted to see everyone's opinions on the topic.

The topic was essentially introverts, how they are treated within society and the role they play.
There are different kinds of introverts and extroverts, but for now let's just stick with the two terms.

Extroverts tend to not understand introverts. They often mistake someone preferring their own company or not liking crowds for them having no social skills or being weird.
We live in a society which is Extrovert Ideal - the belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spot light. Someone who works well in teams and socialises in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual.
"Introversion - along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness - is now a second class personality trait.

Here's the thing. Some of our greatest ideas, art and invensions - from the theory of evolution to van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer - came from quiet people. Without introverts, we would be devoid of many important things in our society."

Should we value introverts more? Shouldn't we make being an introvert less of a thing to mock and find weird, and more of something that is not only acceptable but is supported.

Being an introvert isn't the same as being unsocial, rude, or weird. It is a legitimate personality trait, that we shouldn't have to suppress.

Ideas?

Was the book Quiet?
Being an introvert and being an extrovert is a non- issue as long as you do stuff, a job or whatever, or want to do stuff that fits your nature. Everyone was to be successful in life and to make an impact on the world or to one's loved ones but people should do only stuff that's fits them or they should change their nature to fit their jobs. Its important not to do what society tells you to do but to do and want to do stuff that you think you could do well.

Its when we are forced to do stuff or want to do stuff that we are not designed to be able to do that we get disappointed and disillusioned in ourselves and thus develop an unhealthy inferiority complex. One should use natural freedom to dictate circumstantial freedom and thus fit the environment perfectly, like for any minority.
Reply 10
Apparently I'm a 'confident introvert'- I'm not afraid to be in the spot-light but I can spend time by myself without pining for someone to be with me and I wouldn't have it any other way. But the bit about being able to spend time by yourself is what introversion basically is which I see as a rather admirable trait
Reply 11
I find introverts infinitely more curious, intriguing and interesting than their extrovert counterparts.
Reply 12
FIRST OFF:
MY FOLLOWING POST INCLUDES A BREAKDOWN OF INTROVERSION. THIS WHOLE POST DOES NOT APPLY EVERYTHING TO EACH INTROVERT :colonhash:

This topic has sadly come up before, the other thread I remember was much more active than this though.

Introverts, whether they are or aren't, are seen as naturally shy people. Naturally shy people are generally insecure about something, or realize they don't relate, so they keep quiet and accept the corner or shadow. I'm sure sociology just from information I've come across can confirm that being an introvert can create social deprivation, and that can make their imaginations more powerful than their actions. Thus, introverts can be seen as weird, and they stay introverts.

Introverts also probably suffered a child trauma, not as tragic it sounds, but tragic ones as well. A simple trauma could be lack of socializing as a toddler when early social development is key 1-4 yrs old. Maybe they had no siblings, maybe they were the youngest by a decent age gap, maybe their parents were negligent somehow, maybe they didn't go to early school, maybe they had challenges, or are left-brained/left-handed and have a different/unique thinking process.

So as they get older, this uncomfortable situation ironically becomes a comfort zone and they fail to communicate well as older children/teens. An introverted adult might fail in the workplace or higher education will/can sense their duty to perform/prove oneself in their field of competence and over-compensates and might be seen as rude or socially unacceptable. :smile:
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by RoyalBlue7
Being an introvert and being an extrovert is a non- issue as long as you do stuff, a job or whatever, or want to do stuff that fits your nature. Everyone was to be successful in life and to make an impact on the world or to one's loved ones but people should do only stuff that's fits them or they should change their nature to fit their jobs. Its important not to do what society tells you to do but to do and want to do stuff that you think you could do well.

Its when we are forced to do stuff or want to do stuff that we are not designed to be able to do that we get disappointed and disillusioned in ourselves and thus develop an unhealthy inferiority complex. One should use natural freedom to dictate circumstantial freedom and thus fit the environment perfectly, like for any minority.


I think the issue is that, in a service based economy such as ours, more jobs favour extroverts, as they're based on winning clients and networking. The same thing applies to interviews, you have half an hour or an hour to tell someone as much as you can about yourself, if you're naturally more guarded and less inclined to throw yourself into social situations, that's not going to be easy.

My job involves a mix of social and solo work, with drinks evenings contrasting to hours spent drafting on your own in the office, but ultimately it is the people who are good at going to lots of drinks evenings that win us work, not those who are good at spending long hours drafting. I think the same is true of a lot of 'professional' jobs (teaching and medicine excepted).
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by ApeMob
Introverts are naturally shy people.Common misconception but no. The two things are very different. It's about where you get your energy and what drains you. I'm an introvert. Not very introverted, but towards that side of the spectrum. I couldn't give a flying **** what people think of me. Public speaking doesn't phase me, acting doesn't phase me, talking to people I don't know about subjects I don't care about doesn't phase me either, it's just that I find it exhausting. I would deal with the rest of your post but when your premise is faulty there's really not much point dealing with the conclusions.
Reply 15
Original post by Llamageddon
Common misconception but no. The two things are very different. It's about where you get your energy and what drains you. I'm an introvert. Not very introverted, but towards that side of the spectrum. I couldn't give a flying **** what people think of me. Public speaking doesn't phase me, acting doesn't phase me, talking to people I don't know about subjects I don't care about doesn't phase me either, it's just that I find it exhausting. I would deal with the rest of your post but when your premise is faulty there's really not much point dealing with the conclusions.


I refuse to respond to someone who is giving me a paragraph on one sentence I wrote, much more the first sentence.
Original post by ApeMob
I refuse to respond to someone who is giving me a paragraph on one sentence I wrote, much more the first sentence.


He could have quoted your whole post but there was no need, you based your whole argument around that sentence. You not responding is just a massive cop out

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Reply 17
Original post by ElChapo
He could have quoted your whole post but there was no need, you based your whole argument around that sentence. You not responding is just a massive cop out

Posted from TSR Mobile


This is completely irrelevant and no my whole post does not revolve around being shy :curious: I separated the post based on theses. Only the first paragraph is about being shy. :rolleyes:I literally felt his post disregarded everything I wrote. Problem? :smile:

He only quoted my first sentence. And his whole post revolves around my first sentence so I am right to assume he only regarded that part. So why talk to someone who did that, they don't know where I'm coming from fully?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by ApeMob
This topic has sadly come up before, the other thread I remember was much more active than this though.

Introverts, whether they are or aren't, are seen as naturally shy people. Naturally shy people are generally insecure about something, or realize they don't relate, so they keep quiet and accept the corner or shadow. I'm sure sociology just from information I've come across can confirm that being an introvert can create social deprivation, and that can make their imaginations more powerful than their actions. Thus, introverts can be seen as weird, and they stay introverts.

Introverts also probably suffered a child trauma, not as tragic it sounds, but tragic ones as well. A simple trauma could be lack of socializing as a toddler when early social development is key 1-4 yrs old. Maybe they had no siblings, maybe they were the youngest by a decent age gap, maybe their parents were negligent somehow, maybe they didn't go to early school, maybe they had challenges, or are left-brained/left-handed and have a different/unique thinking process.

So as they get older, this uncomfortable situation ironically becomes a comfort zone and they fail to communicate well as older children/teens. An introverted adult might fail in the workplace or higher education will/can sense their duty to perform/prove oneself in their field of competence and over-compensates and might be seen as rude or socially unacceptable. :smile:


I object! :tongue: I don't like labels but I do treasure time to myself and I like being alone and having space all to myself. I find it tiring sometimes when I have to constantly socialise 24/7.

I disagree that all introverts are shy and have self esteem issues which is a misconception. They're not shy, they just don't want to talk or don't feel like the need to contribute to a conversation etc. For example, I used to be really quiet in Biology because I wasn't interested in kissing up to my teacher's ass or debating the x Factor :rolleyes: It's not because I'm shy like some people assume, I just don't want to contribute. I choose to be quiet and not participate in boring topics, not because I'm scared or insecure.

And no, not all introverts have suffered from child trauma... That's a huge generalisation and untrue. As I mentioned above, there are many different reasons as to why introverts are the way they are. We like alone time and we're definitely not socially inept. :smile:
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Emaemmaemily
I was remembering reading a book last year that I found very interesting, and I wanted to see everyone's opinions on the topic.

The topic was essentially introverts, how they are treated within society and the role they play.
There are different kinds of introverts and extroverts, but for now let's just stick with the two terms.

Extroverts tend to not understand introverts. They often mistake someone preferring their own company or not liking crowds for them having no social skills or being weird.
We live in a society which is Extrovert Ideal - the belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spot light. Someone who works well in teams and socialises in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual.
"Introversion - along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness - is now a second class personality trait.

Here's the thing. Some of our greatest ideas, art and invensions - from the theory of evolution to van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer - came from quiet people. Without introverts, we would be devoid of many important things in our society."

Should we value introverts more? Shouldn't we make being an introvert less of a thing to mock and find weird, and more of something that is not only acceptable but is supported.

Being an introvert isn't the same as being unsocial, rude, or weird. It is a legitimate personality trait, that we shouldn't have to suppress.

Ideas?


I don't really think introverts aren't valued. I just think the term is used very derogatory nowadays, people call others introverts when really they aren't one. I'm classed as an introvert, but I can go out and socialise like an extrovert would :smile:

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