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My girlfriend dumped me because of my anxiety.

Will I ever find a girl to love me and deal with my anxiety?

Any girls out there find a timid, anxious guy attractive?

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Reply 1
Original post by Armin.
Will I ever find a girl to love me and deal with my anxiety?

Any girls out there find a timid, anxious guy attractive?


She's out of order for it
Reply 2
Original post by xmertic
She's out of order for it


Was that pun intended?


Or are you being generally sympathetic?
Perhaps it's best to deal with your seemingly extensive anxiety issues before seeking a committed relationship.
Reply 4
Original post by Armin.
Was that pun intended?


Or are you being generally sympathetic?


No, I think she's genuinely out of order for dumping you over something you might not be able to help right at the moment. A person shouldn't be dumped because they have anxiety
If it was based solely on that reason then she sounds like a bitch. There are plenty more fish in the sea who like quite, timid guys OP. :yep:
Reply 6
Original post by Birkenhead
Perhaps it's best to deal with your seemingly extensive anxiety issues before seeking a committed relationship.


It can be incredibly lonely as a person suffering from generalized anxiety disorder so you can't expect me to be alone forever. What if I never get "fixed"? I want children and grandchildren. :cry:


She knew I was dealing with anxiety nearly my whole life so I did expect her to stick it through. It came out of the blue she blindsided me with this, I'm so downcast and I was on the mend as well.


She told me that she needs to find someone who is more confident and normal.


What really hurt me the most is the word normal. I am normal. What is normal anyway? Normal is boring.


I deserve better than her.
I disagree on her dumping you and honestly you shouldn't beat yourself up, it's who you are and you should take your time and when a girl who likes you for you comes along, then things will be fine. Maybe you could work on your anxiety but that's up to you. One word of advice, don't rush the process. Take your time and find a girl who likes you for you.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 8
Original post by xmertic
No, I think she's genuinely out of order for dumping you over something you might not be able to help right at the moment. A person shouldn't be dumped because they have anxiety


Really? Anxiety is a big part of my life. I wouldn't expect someone to deal with it if they couldn't.

I don't blame her for walking out but it's just the way she did it. I've been getting better for her and I thought everything was great. She was obviously pretending, pretending for me though which might be compassionate but it's set me back in the long run.
Original post by littlejellybird
If it was based solely on that reason then she sounds like a bitch. There are plenty more fish in the sea who like quite, timid guys OP. :yep:


Why is she a bitch? Maybe she didn't have the mental fortitude to deal with it. Maybe it made him unattractive to her. Jeez, you don't have to go out with everyone because it's PC.

As someone mentioned earlier you obviously have to get your **** in order first.
Reply 10
Original post by Viva Emptiness
Why is she a bitch? Maybe she didn't have the mental fortitude to deal with it. Maybe it made him unattractive to her. Jeez, you don't have to go out with everyone because it's PC.

As someone mentioned earlier you obviously have to get your **** in order first.



This is just ridiculous tbh. You don't know what it's LIKE. You don't know what I had to deal with just to get to the point of actually maintaining a somewhat healthy relationship.

I will never have my **** in order because I'll never be cured I'll be "normal". She wants something I cannot give her and I don't blame her for leaving but why did she pretend for so long. We've been seeing each other for almost 12 months. It'll be our anniversary next week.
Reply 11
Original post by Mr...
I don't see the pun...



Anxiety disorder

He said she was out of order for it. Get it? Or am I being paranoid. :getmecoat:


Original post by littlejellybird
If it was based solely on that reason then she sounds like a bitch. There are plenty more fish in the sea who like quite, timid guys OP. :yep:



Thanks for the kind words cutie :smile:
Original post by Viva Emptiness
Why is she a bitch? Maybe she didn't have the mental fortitude to deal with it. Maybe it made him unattractive to her. Jeez, you don't have to go out with everyone because it's PC.

As someone mentioned earlier you obviously have to get your **** in order first.


I don't think it's right to dump someone just because they have some personal issues. We only know 1% of OP's story so all I'm saying is it's wrong for her to dump him if it's based solely on that reason, as I mentioned before. This is my opinion, you don't need to take offence.

Original post by Armin.

She knew I was dealing with anxiety nearly my whole life so I did expect her to stick it through. It came out of the blue she blindsided me with this, I'm so downcast and I was on the mend as well.


She told me that she needs to find someone who is more confident and normal.


Here, OP is stating she clearly knew he had anxiety and fine, if that was causing problems in their relationship then she has the choice to end it but to tell OP that she needs to find someone 'normal' is rather bitchy and unnecessary, don't you think?

Edit: I don't want to argue
(edited 9 years ago)
I used to have agoraphobia and I still have social anxiety, so I know what it's like. It may be horrible for you at the minute, but things must have been stressful for her. There's no point playing the blame game - You will only ever have a healthy and equal relationship when you make some progress yourself.

I'm not quite where I want to be yet, but I'm much better than I used to be. It is possible! Work on yourself and everything else will fall into place.


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Reply 14
Original post by qwertyking
I used to have agoraphobia and I still have social anxiety, so I know what it's like. It may be horrible for you at the minute, but things must have been stressful for her. There's no point playing the blame game - You will only ever have a healthy and equal relationship when you make some progress yourself.

I'm not quite where I want to be yet, but I'm much better than I used to be. It is possible! Work on yourself and everything else will fall into place.


Posted from TSR Mobile


I don't want to sound rude but why is everyone assuming that I'm bat**** crazy? I was on the mend and I have been dealing with it all quite well. I've come a long way from the anxious wreck I was this time 3 years ago.

She has been a big part of my recovery over the last year so I don't know how I will cope now that she is gone.


I'm going to give her a call in the morning to tell her everything on my chest. Do you think this is a good idea?


When she told me she wanted someone normal my judgement became clouded due to my anxiety so I didn't say much I only cried. She did her best to console me but I told her I wanted to be left alone.
Original post by Armin.

She told me that she needs to find someone who is more confident and normal.

I ****ing hate that. That just sounds so bad it wants me to kill a care bear.

My ex and I both suffered and are still battling with anxiety.
When I was with him, I thought I got over mine entirely, but at some point I think his anxiety triggered mine again as well. Even if he didn't want me to get close to him when he was anxious (and I am a naturally clingy person) I still felt like I wanted to comfort him, so he eventually had to deal with me caressing him even if he didn't want that xD. We even had sex when he was anxious, and that appeared to be a good chill pill for both of us >_> *coughs* truestorydon'tjudge


There are plenty of fish in the sea, indeed. But it has sharks too. Just be careful where you go fishing this time. She was clearly not worth the fuss.
Sometimes a partner can offer better comfort than a therapist, and it's true, not all the girls/lads are willing to become a shoulder to cry on for somebody. You got to find the one who has the time and patience to bare with your suffering. And even if it sounds like you're asking too much from somebody, there are people like that.

Also, my advice from personal experience would be that you should never let anxiety affect your partner. Show your partner that it affects you if you need comfort, but don't let your anxiety reach to them. When I was really anxious I would have attacked my ex by isolating myself from him. When he saw me in pain he wanted to help me by any cost, and I was basically turning my back on him. Add that with the fact that we were in a long distance relationship, and now I finally understand how he must've felt when his loved one 3000 miles away from him would cut every means of communication.:sad: Hurting him in the end only made me more anxious, so it was a never ending loop of pain.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by xmertic
No, I think she's genuinely out of order for dumping you over something you might not be able to help right at the moment. A person shouldn't be dumped because they have anxiety


Actually a person can be dumped for any reason. Just some reasons are ****ty than others.

In this case I can understand why Armin got dumped. But he will get over it and find another girl
Original post by Armin.
It can be incredibly lonely as a person suffering from generalized anxiety disorder so you can't expect me to be alone forever. What if I never get "fixed"? I want children and grandchildren. :cry:


She knew I was dealing with anxiety nearly my whole life so I did expect her to stick it through. It came out of the blue she blindsided me with this, I'm so downcast and I was on the mend as well.


She told me that she needs to find someone who is more confident and normal.


What really hurt me the most is the word normal. I am normal. What is normal anyway? Normal is boring.


I deserve better than her.


...and children deserve parents who are in a position to properly care for and nurture them; think of others. The fact that you're lonely as a result of anxiety isn't a good reason to be so desperate for a relationship - in fact isn't it likely that it will fail just like this and leave you even worse off? Surely you should be healthy enough to be alone comfortably before trying to enter a relationship?
How old are you OP, if you don't mind me asking?
Original post by Viva Emptiness
Why is she a bitch? Maybe she didn't have the mental fortitude to deal with it. Maybe it made him unattractive to her. Jeez, you don't have to go out with everyone because it's PC.

As someone mentioned earlier you obviously have to get your **** in order first.


This, if someone wants to dump someone because they don't want to be in the relationship any more they can, it doesn't make them a bitch.

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