Considered attractive yet hopelessly single??

I'm unsure as to how to post this without sounding like a massive troll but basically since coming to uni, I've been made very aware of the fact that society seems to consider me very attractive; I'm usually referred to as 'the hot one' whichever circle of friends I am with and strangers often approach me to tell me I'm beautiful. I used to really struggle with self esteem and body confidence, and though I honestly still don't really get why I am rated so highly, I've come to accept that people see me that way as I'm told so often!
However, I have never had a serious relationship. (I'm 20 and female btw) I am not particularly loud but I am definitely not shy anymore, I can be very chatty. However, it seems all the attention I get is from guys who literally just want sex and that is all. It's made me wonder if I need to work on my personality or something as no one is interested in anything but sex, and, as a virgin, I don't feel comfortable having one night stands or fwb situations.
I'm a very active and sociable person, and I meet a lot of guys at uni/work/societies etc, yet every guy I meet seems to be only interested in me sexually, and not at all bothered about my personality. Am I doing something wrong? Or do all the genuine guys hide out somewhere I'm not going?!
I'm aware that this sounds like a massive troll post, probably and I've almost deleted it several times! But I don't know... I can deal with being single, as I have done almost all my life but I would really like to experience being in a relationship, I just don't know where to begin!

Reply 1

Genocidal

19

Troll much? Or deluded, I'm not quite sure.

Reply 2

cole-slaw

5

Original post by Anonymous

I'm unsure as to how to post this without sounding like a massive troll but basically since coming to uni, I've been made very aware of the fact that society seems to consider me very attractive; I'm usually referred to as 'the hot one' whichever circle of friends I am with and strangers often approach me to tell me I'm beautiful. I used to really struggle with self esteem and body confidence, and though I honestly still don't really get why I am rated so highly, I've come to accept that people see me that way as I'm told so often!
However, I have never had a serious relationship. (I'm 20 and female btw) I am not particularly loud but I am definitely not shy anymore, I can be very chatty. However, it seems all the attention I get is from guys who literally just want sex and that is all. It's made me wonder if I need to work on my personality or something as no one is interested in anything but sex, and, as a virgin, I don't feel comfortable having one night stands or fwb situations.
I'm a very active and sociable person, and I meet a lot of guys at uni/work/societies etc, yet every guy I meet seems to be only interested in me sexually, and not at all bothered about my personality. Am I doing something wrong? Or do all the genuine guys hide out somewhere I'm not going?!
I'm aware that this sounds like a massive troll post, probably and I've almost deleted it several times! But I don't know... I can deal with being single, as I have done almost all my life but I would really like to experience being in a relationship, I just don't know where to begin!

Being interested in you sexually and ONLY being interested in you sexually are completely different. Are you sure you're not mistaking the former for the latter?

and all adult relationships start with sex. If you're not ready for sex, you're not ready for a relationship.

Pm me

What's the point you're trying to make?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 5

OohBurn

8

Original post by cole-slaw

Being interested in you sexually and ONLY being interested in you sexually are completely different. Are you sure you're not mistaking the former for the latter?

and all adult relationships start with sex. If you're not ready for sex, you're not ready for a relationship.

What kind of conclusion is that? :lolwut:

If someone is not ready for sex, that doesn't necessarily equate to someone who are not ready for a relationship. Relationships don't always revolve around sex.

Reply 6

Crumpet1

19

Original post by cole-slaw

and all adult relationships start with sex. If you're not ready for sex, you're not ready for a relationship.

What a ridiculous thing to say. (And I'm speaking as a non-religious adult (a) whose relationships have NEVER started with sex, and (b) with friends who also behave in exactly the same way. For me and for many, sex is way too intimate to share with strangers.)

Original post by Anonymous

Am I doing something wrong? Or do all the genuine guys hide out somewhere I'm not going?!

The latter seems like the most likely explanation. Try joining a few clubs and societies in the new term, and expand your social circle. Maybe consider also that the kind of guy you're after is too shy to approach you because he thinks you're out of his league? You might have to take the lead and do the asking yourself if you find someone you like.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 7

vortex_199

11

I don't think you are trolling OP. However, people telling you that you are attractive is something many (probably most) young women can relate to. It doesn't mean that everyone who sees you considers you drop-dead gorgeous. Good friends will always tell you that you are pretty. Not in a delusional way but probably because they get to know you and it leads them to think so. Family friends will always be in awe of how 'beautiful' you've grown to be lol. There will be one or two guys who will think you are hot, but that doesn't mean that they are all crashing their cars to get a second look.

I think looks here are irrelevant. Maybe you are hanging out with the wrong crowd. Some societies attract 'the lads' of university. Maybe you come across as unapproachable. Sometimes this can happen if you aren't trusting, due to past experiences of guys just wanting sex.

Anyhow, you're only 20. Before you know it, I'm sure you'll be in a relationship. These things take more time for some than others.

Reply 8

Mauryan

12

Are you fat/chubby by any chance?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 9

iAmanze

18

Original post by Mauryan

Are you fat/chubby by any chance?

Posted from TSR Mobile

R0000000000000000000d!

@OP You should approach guys as equally as you want guys to approach you. Every guy you could like but let go is a potential successful relationship you're letting go. You should rope them in with your confidence to start the conversation and as you said, you're looks, them take the back seat and let them do all the work. Also, no sex until you both know a lot about each other, mainly him knowing about you then you can tie it all up with sex to bind it all together, let him know it's a reward for making you happy, not something he's entitled to.

Reply 10

Zarek

21

Get a bit of advice from your mates, they will have more insight than TSR. There must be something about your demeanour that leads to guys approaching you in a way you don't want.

Considered attractive yet hopelessly single??

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