Maintaining a long-term, long-distance relationship... Is it possible?

However, you should consider how people change at college - especially as you've only been dating a month or so, if she isn't with you all of the time she could change due to new friends or even find someone else... I know it's not something you want to think about but it could happen easily - and that's speaking from experience.
Where do you see this relationship going?

Hey! I got with my boyfriend when I was at the end of year 11, I'm about to start uni in September. I've been with him for almost 2.5 years and he lives 181 miles away from me the whole time we have been together we have only seen eachother a few times a year (half terms etc) and we talk everyday! Communication is really key and it sounds like you have that! Trust me it is possible (although difficult and sometimes frustrating) and if you can work through distance and making as much time as possible, even if little, then you will get through anything! Honestly it is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do but I would do it all again if it meant I would be this happy. My boyfriend is my entire world and I wouldn't change any of it. I think you just need to have small goals, look forward to seeing eachother and enjoy the time you have! No matter how things work out, it's for the best. But if you ever think you need to stop and it would be better any other way, then do say, that's very important, never bottle issues!! Good luck! x

A lot of people I know have managed to maintain long distance relationships with people who they can't see very often- my boyfriend lives 3 hours away from me during term time and we can only see each other once a month, but we've made it work. It's great that you two communicate with each other so much anyway because communication is so important.

There is no reason why a long distance relationship can't work out if both of you are committed enough to making it work and you both feel like the benefits of being in that relationship outweigh the drawbacks. This year you'll be fine and if you can get through the next two then you have freedom at uni to look forward to

Hi everyone,

So, I recently started dating this girl from my school and since we are both just about to go into Year 11 together, it got me thinking a little bit. I don't anticipate any serious problems occurring in the next year, and I am hoping that we will be able to enjoy ourselves and have a great time together. The only issue is this:

What happens after the year has ended? We don't get to meet up a lot (in fact, usually never outside of school due to strict parents on both sides) so school is the only place we get to interact apart from the occasional outing together (but this is very, very rare). I really want to maintain a long-term relationship, but how does it work through college. I mean, what happens if we go to different colleges and very rarely get to see each other? We talk to each other a lot on social media, so communication is definitely not a problem, but meeting and spending time together is central to any relationship. I understand the relationship would not necessarily be 'long-distance', but considering we would not really get to meet each other freely if we were to attend different colleges, it becomes almost long-distance.

It seems that we would both have more freedom when going into University, so we would definitely be able to see each other more often in University, but then the idea of long-distance comes in since it is very, very unlikely that we would get accepted into the same University.

I suppose my question is more just a request for any advice or opinion that anyone may have in regards to this. It would be great if someone could speak from experience, and I'd be more than happy to answer any questions that I may not have answered in this post.

Thanks

P.s. if anyone is wondering, this is the first girl I've ever dated and we've been dating for over a month now.

Well in terms of colleges I assume you'll still be living in the same city so not really long distance but I the strict parents comes into play. I would suggest you try to get your family use to her and you as a couple by introducing each-other or inviting her over for a movie at your house and you could do the same with her family if possible. If it works then your families will be more open to the idea of you hanging out and dating because when it comes to college you'll be able to hang out way more out of school because that won't be the case at school. As far as university goes I don't know, I wouldn't plan that far ahead just yet just enjoy each other as a couple and the future will come. I'm also concerned about UNi I've been dating my gf for about a year now and I'm hopefully going to UNi next year and we still don't have a plan for that

It's not possible.
Sorry.
End it.

Thank you so much for your post. In terms of letting our parents know about this, I suppose I should have mentioned this in the opening post but neither of us have been able to tell our parents about each other. The main reason for this is that we both come from very conservative backgrounds, where dating is not "allowed" as such. I suppose we are both going against our parents at this age, but I don't think telling them about each other is an option for us yet. We do, however, intend to introduce each other once we are old enough and are hopefully given more freedom and leeway, but I suppose that is still a while off. I take your point about the idea that we would still be in the same city, so meeting each other would not necessarily be as big a problem as I am perhaps making it out to be. There's also the fact that she lives about a 15 minutes walk away from my house, but of course, we won't be meeting at each other's house any time soon.

I'm happy for you and your girlfriend though and I wish you two the best of luck together. Good luck in University too

Thanks, well my family is quite conservative to (strict Christians), really I don't get to spend a lot of time with her except the occasional date at the weekend. My family sees my school work to be the most important thing so basically mon-fri I'm at home doing my school stuff but somehow we've made it this far

Hi everyone,

So, I recently started dating this girl from my school and since we are both just about to go into Year 11 together, it got me thinking a little bit. I don't anticipate any serious problems occurring in the next year, and I am hoping that we will be able to enjoy ourselves and have a great time together. The only issue is this:

What happens after the year has ended? We don't get to meet up a lot (in fact, usually never outside of school due to strict parents on both sides) so school is the only place we get to interact apart from the occasional outing together (but this is very, very rare). I really want to maintain a long-term relationship, but how does it work through college. I mean, what happens if we go to different colleges and very rarely get to see each other? We talk to each other a lot on social media, so communication is definitely not a problem, but meeting and spending time together is central to any relationship. I understand the relationship would not necessarily be 'long-distance', but considering we would not really get to meet each other freely if we were to attend different colleges, it becomes almost long-distance.

It seems that we would both have more freedom when going into University, so we would definitely be able to see each other more often in University, but then the idea of long-distance comes in since it is very, very unlikely that we would get accepted into the same University.

I suppose my question is more just a request for any advice or opinion that anyone may have in regards to this. It would be great if someone could speak from experience, and I'd be more than happy to answer any questions that I may not have answered in this post.

Thanks

P.s. if anyone is wondering, this is the first girl I've ever dated and we've been dating for over a month now.

Me and my girlfriend are in the same predicament for meeting up - due to living over 100 miles away from each other but we're managing. She's my first (and hopefully last) victim too. I mean girlfriend. I guess at the end of the day it's a case of: if you really love each other it'll work out - don't get me wrong it'll be hard work and the distance will drive you crazy, but if it's the right girl you'll get through it and it will be worth it

Once again, it's great to see an example of two people who have made it work against the odds. You give us all so much hope :') So, how did your parents react when you initially told them about your girlfriend?

I think this post has summed it up, in all honesty. I love the idea of "if it's the right one, then distance won't make a difference". I suppose it also works the other way too: "if it isn't the right one, then matter what you do, you'll never be fully happy with the relationship". I guess it's up to us to determine if we're right for each other over the next year Thank you for the enlightening post.

She wants to see me almost everyday, and that's not something I can mange and she doesnt understand. So I'm really happy for you because you're in a relationship with someone with as strict of a background so that'll really save you a lot of trouble explaining.

No problem man. But trust me: even if it is the right one it WILL be the single hardest experience of your life - you'll have sleepless nights crying over the fact she ain't there, if you see another couple it will remind you of her and it you will die a little inside when you see the couples. I hope it all works out for you.

I can imagine the struggle you must have faced. Parents can make life so much difficult at times I suppose I am very lucky to be in a position where my girlfriend understands the concerns regarding our parents since we're both in the same boat! I really do hope that it will change eventually in the future when I can finally have some more freedom.

Hmm, this seems to intrigue me a little bit. Excuse my lack of knowledge, but this is my first date so I have no experience whatsoever. I've been having some sleepless nights lately mostly because I've been missing her a lot but I've never really brought myself into a position where I've felt the need to cry over it considering we've been messaging practically daily. Is this something that develops later in a relationship? Any advice on overcoming these difficulties would be greatly appreciated

Yeah here's to the future right I hope you to have a bright and wonderful future together though. I know it's early days but being hopeful can't hurt right

Yeah, this does come later - once you realise she is the one the distance hits you hard but in the words of my favourite motivational speaker "life will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. But life ain't about how hard ya hit, it's about how hard you can get hit, how much you can take and keep moving forward." The way I like to calm myself down is to write raps, must do something you enjoy