Moving away from my girlfriend for University?

Hi everyone! So I've been accepted on to a undergraduate course for English and Creative Writing at Plymouth University and I couldn't be more excited to make the move up there! :biggrin:

The only problem is, my girlfriend of almost 7 months is staying in our home town in Cornwall to continue her diploma in college.
Although it only takes 2 hours to get between Cornwall and Plymouth on public transport, I worry that because of money and the fact that we will both be busy with education and our own lives, we will not see eachother as much as we do now (at least 5 days out of the week we spend together).
Does anyone have any tips on how to survive a relationship with this distance? How do we both cope with being miles away when were used to being close? Thank you :biggrin:

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Reply 1

lightergait

Hello there! I am girlfriend to a 4 year relationship of which the majority was long distance! Nice to meet you :biggrin:

My boyfriend moved from Northern Ireland to an English university last year and he was still 3 hours away from me on the train, and it was actually okay. Depending on how strong your relationship is with your girlfriend (me and my boyfriend are marrying each other, we weren't letting each other go) I would say you can do it! The first couple of months of university I did find myself distancing a bit because he was rarely able to talk and always going out and meeting new people (I was still in college at this point so my life wasn't as busy) but after he settled in we got to talking more and eventually we saw eachother loads in the holidays and then perhaps every other weekend or so! We Skyped most nights and actually this didn't help him because it stopped him from going out with his friends a lot and he became a "No" guy. We easily could have turned out as strong had we seen each other less and spoken less, because I think a good relationship is about balance. Your girlfriend should matter to you as much as anything else in your life - the healthiest way to live in a relationship is so that you have enough other aspects of your life that if you lose one part of it you can fill it up with another part. Whilst my relationship looked like it did on the left below, it is now starting to look like the right below, but I love him even more than I did then! (Image doesn't seem to be showing :frown:

click the link!)

Anyway! If you want to private message me to ask some more questions (since I've probably been about every long distance relationship circumstance possible) feel free to, but my main advice here will be to stick by each other but not to expect loads of time from each other. Allow yourselves to spread your wings and fly and disappear for a while whilst you're getting used to new surroundings and a new life, and then when you're ready fly back to the nest for a little "us" time :wink:

She doesn't need to be your whole to BE your life.

Much love! <3

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

HollyAnn999

Original post by lightergait

Hello there! I am girlfriend to a 4 year relationship of which the majority was long distance! Nice to meet you :biggrin:

click the link!)

She doesn't need to be your whole to BE your life.

Much love! <3

Thank you for the advice! :biggrin:

Me and my girlfriend definitely have a close passionate relationship, she is like my best friend as well as my partner. We often talk about marriage and children and our future together. Looking at that image I'm definitely more like the one on the left, my family and education and everything else mean a lot but my girlfriend tends to through no fault of her own, occupy more then half my mind, time and heart.
Maybe uni and the distance will help me to prioritise my mind and help me be more independent from my partner?
Thank you again for the reply! :biggrin:

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Reply 3

lightergait

Original post by HollyAnn999

Thank you for the advice! :biggrin:

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Yes! Exactly. Independence is what you need, but I think some people mistake independence for not needing a partner. I once read in a great book "You cannot love something you need. People do not love water. They do not love shelter. But when you want something, with all your heart, you cannot help but to love it endlessly." But if you're moving to university really really do sit down with her and talk about how you're not going to spend as much time talking, even on the phone etc., but that she needs to give you time to settle in :smile: