He's stopped contacting me

Hi,

I had been seeing this guy for just over 2 months (nothing too serious, although we've been friends for about a year) and literally, he just stopped contacting me. The last month we haven't really seen each other due to timing conflicts, but we still texted each day. I have often asked him if he thought our relationship was too complicated, and have never been too clingy. I have made it very easy for him to end it if he wanted to. But he has always insisted that he wants to continue, and he doesn't mind waiting.
Anyway about a week ago is when I had my last text from him, just saying good morning, and I texted back. I then texted him on Sunday but had no reply, texted him Tuesday -no reply, and again Wednesday - no reply (asked him if he wanted to meet up as I'm off work now for a few weeks), and finally on Friday but still no reply. I'm annoyed and worried. I know nothing too bad has happened to him (because I would've heard about it) but it is not like him to ignore me. Just so confused! The night before he sent his final text, he sent me a text asking if we could stay in touch when I go to Uni in September, to which I replied 'of course!'. Just doesn't make sense!
What should I doooo?! Texting seems pointless (maybe he lost his phone? But still no effort to contact me. I mean, he knows where I live) I don't have him as a friend on facebook, maybe I could add him and message him? I know where he lives but don't want to seem like a stalker by going round his house. I'm genuinely concerned about him!

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

Carnationlilyrose

Original post by charlotteLOL!

Hi,

I had been seeing this guy for just over 2 months (nothing too serious, although we've been friends for about a year) and literally, he just stopped contacting me. The last month we haven't really seen each other due to timing conflicts, but we still texted each day. I have often asked him if he thought our relationship was too complicated, and have never been too clingy. I have made it very easy for him to end it if he wanted to. But he has always insisted that he wants to continue, and he doesn't mind waiting.
Anyway about a week ago is when I had my last text from him, just saying good morning, and I texted back. I then texted him on Sunday but had no reply, texted him Tuesday -no reply, and again Wednesday - no reply, and finally on Friday but still no reply. I'm annoyed and worried. I know nothing too bad has happened to him (because I would've heard about it) but it is not like him to ignore me. Just so confused! The night before he sent his final text, he sent me a text asking if we could stay in touch when I go to Uni in September, to which I replied 'of course!'. Just doesn't make sense!
What should I doooo?! Texting seems pointless (maybe he lost his phone? But still no effort to contact me. I mean, he knows where I live) I don't have him as a friend on facebook, maybe I could add him and message him? I know where he lives but don't want to seem like a stalker by going round his house. I'm genuinely concerned about him!

Honestly? He's letting you down gently before you go away.

Reply 2

CAP31

Original post by charlotteLOL!

As he is not replying, call him and clear things up. The way I see it, he's moving on. You should do the same.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 3

charlotteLOL!

Original post by CAP31

As he is not replying, call him and clear things up. The way I see it, he's moving on. You should do the same.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Thanks for your responses! I can see where you're coming from, but yesterday I texted him saying something like 'if you want to end this it's fine, but could you let me know'. I really not the type to beg and be really clingy, maybe that's what he wants!
I will move on very easily if he wants to end it, it's just not knowing what's going on really irritates me haha.

Reply 4

charlotteLOL!

Original post by Carnationlilyrose

Honestly? He's letting you down gently before you go away.

Thank you for your response!

I get your point, but yesterday I texted him saying something like 'if you want to end it that's fine, but could you let me know?' Basically giving him a get out of jail free card!

Reply 5

RachelFiveee

From past experience just let it go, even though that is easier said than done. If you do not contact him then he will either realise he misses chatting to you and get in touch or you won't hear from him- if he hasn't answered the last few then don't text again. It sucks when this happens but rest assured he will be in touch if he wants, if he doesn't you will find someone else!

Reply 6

Carnationlilyrose

Original post by charlotteLOL!

I hope he has the grace to respond. However, if his actual words were 'stay in touch' I think he has signalled that he wants to put the relationship on a friendship basis, since it's not a very romantic phrase. I think it's probably just as well to be like this at this point in your life, because there're lots of new relationships waiting to happen when you get to university.

Reply 7

charlotteLOL!

Original post by RachelFiveee

Thank you

Honestly though, I wouldn't mind if he ended it. I sent him a text yesterday saying if he wanted to end it that's fine but could he let me know. It's just him ignoring me that annoys me! I need to go to his house anyway because I left some things there but don't really wanna see him if he's gonna be that immature haha
So random though how one day he asks me if we could keep in touch, and then the next day ignores me! Suppose that's just men for you!

Reply 8

RachelFiveee

Original post by charlotteLOL!

Thank you

Oh yessss i totally get you! Someone i was seeing earlier this year was so confusing, one day he would invite me to meet his family and the next nothing- repeat the cycle with different events and then being ignored. I figured it wasn't worth it in the end and told him i couldn't be bothered anymore and to not bother getting in touch again :P also been in the same situation as you when dating, i dont think it is done horribly, i think some blokes think that saying nothing is nicer (even though it isn't). I hate now it leaves you wondering what happened and all that, but its not worth it lol. You'll find someone who makes sure they stay in touch :smile:

Reply 9

MagicNMedicine

I know its frustrating when someone ignores you but you can't control it, and it only makes it worse if you start texting more to try and force a response.

Usually the ignore thing happens when someone wants to end something but isn't brave enough to say it. Some people are afraid of conflict and would rather just hope the situation goes away.

Reply 10

charlotteLOL!

Thanks for the replies. Unless he replies soon, I'll just have to accept that he's ignoring me so I can stop thinking about it!
Second problem:
I've left some things at his house. I would text him to ask if I could come round to get them or meet up so he could bring them to me but will probably get ignored. I could leave it a few days and then text him, or just take my chances and go straight round there when I know he'll probably be at home.

What do you think?

Reply 11

Carnationlilyrose

Original post by charlotteLOL!

Text first to say you will be coming to get your things at a certain time. Then go at that time, regardless of an answer or not.

Reply 12

Zechs

I don't actually understand why you feel it has to be the guy here who has to end this relationship. You have repeated this idea twice, you too can simply send him a message stating how you feel and ending it instead of repeatedly messaging him for a week.

I would have stopped at day two myself, if he is ignoring he probably simply wants to end it and is immature, unless maybe he is ill/ mobile lost who knows. Still he has made no effort to contact you, so I would not hold my hopes up, contact him stating you are coming round to pick up your stuff then if he is there at least you can end it face to face hopefully on good terms.