The Student Room Group

Blackmailing my Dad...

About a month ago, I was going shopping with friends and my phone wasn't charged so my Dad let me use his. Whilst I was shopping he received a text that was fairly explicit. I was scared to look but I did and saw he was definitely cheating on my mum who he has been married to for 24 years. There were some photos of him and some women together (all ugly, and he totally downgraded, my Mum is beautiful)I took a screenshot of everything and sent it to my own phone along with these other womans numbers. In some way I was quite relieved it was several women rather than just one.

The day after A-Level results day my Dad took me out to a restaurant we always used to go to when I was little as a 'congratulations'. Whilst we were waiting for our food, I confronted him about it. He denied it at first until I showed him everything that I had sent to myself. He admitted that he has been cheating on my Mum for about 6 months with different women. I think it has obviously been a lot longer, but decided that part was irrelevant at this point. He told me that he would never do it again - obviously I didn't believe him, and he begged me not to tell my Mum - he was actually on the verge of tears. It made me feel very uncomfortable.

He said he would do anything for me not to tell her and for me to just 'forget anything happened' - I told him with no emotion in my voice that I would forget everything if he paid my accommodation fees for university and put £150 every month in my account until I graduate . If he defaulted on any of these things then I would tell her without hesitation. He happily agreed and we changed the topic.

This afternoon when I got home, there was a new laptop on my bed with £2,500 in an evolope - and a note signed by my Dad telling me that this wasn't included in our agreement. And it was at that point that my heart sunk, and I felt like I was betraying my Mum and that I was just as guilty as him. I hate myself quite a lot right now. Im sure my Mum would leave him if she knew what he was doing.

Is it wrong for me to accept these things in return for my silence? , Should I refuse to take anything from him and tell her ? or should I not tell her but refuse his pay offs? I'm not sure what to do, I feel bad, especially because my Dad is acting like nothing happened.
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
About a month ago, I was going shopping with friends and my phone wasn't charged so my Dad let me use his. Whilst I was shopping he received a text that was fairly explicit. I was scared to look but I did and saw he was definitely cheating on my mum who he has been married to for 24 years. There were some photos of him and some women together (all ugly, and he totally downgraded, my Mum is beautiful)I took a screenshot of everything and sent it to my own phone along with these other womans numbers. In some way I was quite relieved it was several women rather than just one.

The day after A-Level results day my Dad took me out to a restaurant we always used to go to when I was little as a 'congratulations'. Whilst we were waiting for our food, I confronted him about it. He denied it at first until I showed him everything that I had sent to myself. He admitted that he has been cheating on my Mum for about 6 months with different women. I think it has obviously been a lot longer, but decided that part was irrelevant at this point. He told me that he would never do it again - obviously I didn't believe him, and he begged me not to tell my Mum - he was actually on the verge of tears. It made me feel very uncomfortable.

He said he would do anything for me not to tell her and for me to just 'forget anything happened' - I told him with no emotion in my voice that I would forget everything if he paid my accommodation fees for university and put £150 every month in my account until I graduate . If he defaulted on any of these things then I would tell her without hesitation. He happily agreed and we changed the topic.

This afternoon when I got home, there was a new laptop on my bed with £2,500 in an evolope - and a note signed by my Dad telling me that this wasn't included in our agreement. And it was at that point that my heart sunk, and I felt like I was betraying my Mum and that I was just as guilty as him. I hate myself quite a lot right now. Im sure my Mum would leave him if she knew what he was doing.

Is it wrong for me to accept these things in return for my silence? , Should I refuse to take anything from him and tell her ? or should I not tell her but refuse his pay offs? I'm not sure what to do, I feel bad, especially because my Dad is acting like nothing happened.


Yes, it was very wrong :/
If I were you i'd give him a chance to come clean about the whole thing and if he doesn't you should tell your mum. Since you know about it you're apart of the secret too and the fact that he's actually giving into the blackmail is frankly pathetic.
Good Luck
Wait until your uni fees are paid. Then tell your mom.
It shows your father how bad of a parent he is, and what backstabbing example he has set his kids.


(sorry, I despise people who cheat)
Reply 3
I want to say I'd just take it.

But no, this is abhorrent. I'm sure you're not a bad person, OP. But what you did here, was completely wrong and immoral by any stretch of the imagination (obligatory 'imo')

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 4
Basically you are no different to your father (why expect more in a first place?!)...

You have trust issue in your family as a whole. How different you are from your father? Lying to your mother.

You never cared about your mother, you only cared about yourself, that's why you wanted money. You sold your mother's trust.

No man up,and keep your word with your dad till the end. Or cut it short, tell your dad to sort it out, and don't accept any more money or 'special gifts'.
Reply 5
Personally.. I'd keep the laptop and the agreement for accommodation, but give the £2500 back as it isn't necessary and that you would rather his word that this won't be repeated.
Reply 6
You're a big girl now. Rules only apply if you need them to. Seek the answer within. Not tripping on what these pussys say. Only you have your answers.
Original post by tsa1233
You're a big girl now. Rules only apply if you need them to. Seek the answer within. Not tripping on what these pussys say. Only you have your answers.


Why reopen a 5 year old thread ffs I got excited until I realised how old it is
This sounds like it could be a good movie thoughhhhh
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous__02
Why reopen a 5 year old thread ffs I got excited until I realised how old it is


Sorry. I'm new at this.
Reply 10
Original post by OR321
This sounds like it could be a good movie thoughhhhh


I was hoping there were more posts, I was getting into it.
Original post by Bio 7
I was hoping there were more posts, I was getting into it.

hahah went from the bmat thread to see that it is 5 years old ffs
Original post by Anonymous
About a month ago, I was going shopping with friends and my phone wasn't charged so my Dad let me use his. Whilst I was shopping he received a text that was fairly explicit. I was scared to look but I did and saw he was definitely cheating on my mum who he has been married to for 24 years. There were some photos of him and some women together (all ugly, and he totally downgraded, my Mum is beautiful)I took a screenshot of everything and sent it to my own phone along with these other womans numbers. In some way I was quite relieved it was several women rather than just one.

The day after A-Level results day my Dad took me out to a restaurant we always used to go to when I was little as a 'congratulations'. Whilst we were waiting for our food, I confronted him about it. He denied it at first until I showed him everything that I had sent to myself. He admitted that he has been cheating on my Mum for about 6 months with different women. I think it has obviously been a lot longer, but decided that part was irrelevant at this point. He told me that he would never do it again - obviously I didn't believe him, and he begged me not to tell my Mum - he was actually on the verge of tears. It made me feel very uncomfortable.

He said he would do anything for me not to tell her and for me to just 'forget anything happened' - I told him with no emotion in my voice that I would forget everything if he paid my accommodation fees for university and put £150 every month in my account until I graduate . If he defaulted on any of these things then I would tell her without hesitation. He happily agreed and we changed the topic.

This afternoon when I got home, there was a new laptop on my bed with £2,500 in an evolope - and a note signed by my Dad telling me that this wasn't included in our agreement. And it was at that point that my heart sunk, and I felt like I was betraying my Mum and that I was just as guilty as him. I hate myself quite a lot right now. Im sure my Mum would leave him if she knew what he was doing.

Is it wrong for me to accept these things in return for my silence? , Should I refuse to take anything from him and tell her ? or should I not tell her but refuse his pay offs? I'm not sure what to do, I feel bad, especially because my Dad is acting like nothing happened.


Original post by valar morghulis
Wait until your uni fees are paid. Then tell your mom.
It shows your father how bad of a parent he is, and what backstabbing example he has set his kids.


(sorry, I despise people who cheat)

Exactly he set the standard with his actions tbh.
The fact I can't rate OP because of PRSOM astonishes me... please update us after 6 years OP, you clearly still use the website.
(I only wanted to rate them because it's probably the most interesting read of the day)
Original post by Bio 7
It's because OP is anon.

oh... well that sucks. I thought it delivered it to the user behind anon, my bad. :creep:
Reply 15
Original post by 2_versions
oh... well that sucks. I thought it delivered it to the user behind anon, my bad. :creep:


TSR isn't quite that nice, repping is a bit annoying.

Latest

Trending

Trending