I want to run away, I'm a Loner

I mean this in the nicest possible way, mate: get yourself to a doctor. Talk about low mood and stuff, they can help!

You really need to get some support and make sure as many people as possible know what you're going through. There must have been reasons your first two attempts at college didn't work and if you don't get any help with them, it's likely to just happen again. Although travelling might seem tempting, you only get free education until you're 19. If you come back from travelling with no money, no job and no qualifications, and not having resolved any of the problems that led you to go travelling in the first place, and then have to get a dead-end job where you can't afford to pay to go back to college, you're just going to be in an even worse place. It would be much better to get through college now whilst it's free. You can succeed with the right support.

Does the college you're joining know that you had poor attendance the first two times? Colleges spend a lot of money employing attendance officers, student support workers, etc. just for this reason. Make sure the college know that you might struggle with attendance and they will be able to support you. If you can't face going to a class for example, they might arrange for you to be able to go sit in the library or somewhere else on campus, so you can be at college but away from whatever in the class makes you not be able to face going. If you struggle to complete work or lose interest in the course, they might be able to keep you on track or break down the work so it's more manageable. But they can only support you if you tell them you need support.

I was struggling at work when I joined because I'm shy and have difficulty asking questions about things I don't know how to do. It was affecting my performance as I kept making mistakes. But then I just admitted to my manager that I have that problem. Because he knew, he was then able to make it easier for me, for example he now asks "any questions?" when I'm doing a task, to give me a prompt to ask questions and show me he understands. Basically if you admit that you need help, most people will be willing to help

I've done this so many times, it doesn't ****ING WORK, however of recent im going to a support group meeting other people with anxiety next month so i'll see how it goes

You need to see a counselor( possibly with your family), although at first you wont see a difference just keep going and eventually you will make a breakthrough. If you feel like a loner try joining a social club. As for your porn "problem" this is not an unheard of hobby and is something that you should also discuss with your counselor,that is if you do take my advise and get one, or you could just try slowly cutting it out of your life.

Im 14 and i would love just to runaway, your probly not anywhere near as bad as you think you are,hope your ok now anyway :3