The Student Room Group

Arguing with brother, fed up of him hitting and threatening me!

Hi, I'm typing this cause I'm sick and fed up of my brother :frown:

I'm 18 and female, we've always argued in the past, I thought it was dying down and cause we've both grown since we were teenagers. Right well some info on my idiot of a brother.
He's 20, is at uni, thinks he knows it all, but can be very quiet, he's into death metal music, one of those people who is always in their room, hardly goes out, he's never had a girlfriend and his mates got one but he reckons he'll never have a gf cos they're a waste of time, blah blah. I just think he needs to grow up and think about the real world sometimes.
I've offered in the past to go to the pub with him, act as mates but he's just so horrid to me so i stay out of his way.

Anyway he's always threatening to kill me, and seriously scares me sometimes but I try and stay out of his way.
Just what happened today is a good example, a guy with a parcel (obviously something for him) came to the door and he was closest, i heard him moving around in the kitchen, anyway i'm busy writing a cv, i shout will you get the door, no reply. So i go sign for the package (bit peeved off) Anyway he appears as i shut the door and just clears off with his parcel. I said some slight remark about its your package and you can't even be bothered signing for it. So he starts shouting and condescending me, then hits me full on in the stomach with his guitar and pins me down and hits me with a chair! Getting me even more angry, I shout at him, but he hits me again and as if he has the right! Then he keeps threatening he'll kill me one day.

I'm sick and fed up of his pathetic isolated behaviour! I wish he'd just grow up and get on with people! He always has soemthing nasty to say about near enough anyone and he's been getitng on my mums nerves recently as well.
At least he is back to uni in a week or so, then i'll beable to get on without him around. I just hate him! It's no use talking to my parents cause they never believe me! I'd just like any advice on avoiding him? I do try but times like today, when the parcel thing, if I hadn't have got it he'd have done the same thing!
:frown: I'm just fed up, I thought he was growing out of being so pathetic. (Sorry just a bit of a long rant)

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Reply 1
call the police
That's assault dudette. Ring the police. Or a mental hospital.

Where were your parents during all this?
Reply 3
gianthead
call the police


Yes, that is going to help the situation isn't it? :rolleyes:
get a bf and tell your bf to beat him up
Reply 5
They're at work. I'm going out now cause I'm sick of being in the same house as him. No point with the police and all that, they never do anything anyway and it'd be more bother than it was worth.
It's happened before, he's never caused serious damage but its just something you could do without! I just wish i didn't have anything to do with him!
Because i'm on a gap year and trying to find a job, (and i really am trying) he just picks on me because of that aswell, saying I'm just sat on my arse doing nothing! I can't wait until he finishes uni and realises he'll have to go through all this ringing people and interviews and in the real world you have to be socialable and not everything fits into your little idea of the "real world"!
Reply 6
The most important thing is that your brother needs to see how serious what he is doing is. You need to make your parents aware of the situation.
With this level of aggression your brother really needs to get some help.
Reply 7
Firstly, you are right in ignoring the rash people telling you to call the police. I feel sorry for the police having to go to some many minor family disputes that could be sorted out in a much more grown up ways. Has nobody ever heard of loyalty, since when are people so quick to call the police on members of their own family? Although you say your parents won't listen, I think they are the only people who can curb his behaviour. You say he is getting on your mums nerves- I think you should take this opportunity to have a serious discussion with them about him. His behaviour towards you does sound unacceptable and if it is as serious as you make out they should have seen examples of it.
Reply 8
There's obviously something about life/people he can't deal with. I wouldn't bother asking him, you will just make matters worse. He'll learn the hard way that his behaviour makes his own life even worse. Maybe he'll meet some girl he likes and it will change his mind. That's what happened round here - a local kid was just horrible, hateful etc, then he got a g/f & changed !
Had the same problem, I just got stronger took up defence lessons and he stopped when he couldnt hurt me but i could him. Now we live in the same house apart from when im at uni, We dont talk not a word, if the door goes for him and he dont get it then the door dont get opened. To me he dont exist.
Thats not a good way to deal with your family, afterall they are still your family. You need to tell your parents maybe sit down with them and him and try and sort it out, before blanking him out of your life.
Anonymous
he starts shouting and condescending me, then hits me full on in the stomach with his guitar and pins me down and hits me with a chair! Getting me even more angry, I shout at him, but he hits me again and as if he has the right! Then he keeps threatening he'll kill me one day.


Sounds ill.
Get a mental health professional to talk to him.
Anonymous
Sounds ill.
Get a mental health professional to talk to him.


Why post anonymous? If you are embarrassed about what you are posting don't post it.
Student2000
Firstly, you are right in ignoring the rash people telling you to call the police. I feel sorry for the police having to go to some many minor family disputes that could be sorted out in a much more grown up ways. Has nobody ever heard of loyalty, since when are people so quick to call the police on members of their own family? Although you say your parents won't listen, I think they are the only people who can curb his behaviour. You say he is getting on your mums nerves- I think you should take this opportunity to have a serious discussion with them about him. His behaviour towards you does sound unacceptable and if it is as serious as you make out they should have seen examples of it.


He's beating her up and threatening to kill her, that doesnt sound like minor family dispute. Where's her brothers loyalty to her?
One time my Dad said he'd beat me up and I told him that if there was a mark on me I'd have his @rse in court for assault. Soon took the venom out of his threats that one.

It doesn't matter whether you are family or whatever, a crime is a crime. This fella sounds like a psycho and should be locked up, if he's making threats to kill his own sister then he's a danger to the rest of society.
I'm not trying to stereotype your brother but could he be taking drugs? That could be why he is so aggressive.
Reply 15
gianthead
call the police


****ing :ditto: this. He needs the shock to realise he can't get away with this.
Student2000
Firstly, you are right in ignoring the rash people telling you to call the police. I feel sorry for the police having to go to some many minor family disputes that could be sorted out in a much more grown up ways. Has nobody ever heard of loyalty, since when are people so quick to call the police on members of their own family?


In case you failed to read the first post, it says he hit her with a chair. If that were any other place and from any other person, that would be considered serious, and I don't see why it happening at home and coming from her brother makes it fine. You can't try and solve it in a grown up way when her brother is evidently totally unable to conduct himself in a mature manner.

As for loyalty, I don't see why there's any reason for being loyal to someone who doesn't inspire any loyalty in the first place. Why should threats and violence be rewarded with loyalty?
calling the police will make it worse.. ur brother will always hate u then, and have a real reason to argue with u and get into fights
ForumFreak
I'm not trying to stereotype your brother but could he be taking drugs? That could be why he is so aggressive.


In reterospect i would be suprised if he doesnt take drugs.
kick a real hard kick in the balls itl drop him like a nine pin and then he will know he cant pick on you, once you fight back bullies usually stop