Personal Statement - International Tourism Management

Okay, so I'm sure there is about a million of these posts but I decided to just do my own so tada!

My question is 'What do you guys think of the following opening line for a personal statement for someone looking to study International Travel/Tourism Management...?'

The statement: I have been to Florida 19 times so far in my life, along with China, Egypt, India and many other places. This has caused me to have an interest in different cultures,, countries and, of course, travel.

I'm due to be part of the entry year in Sept. 2015 and despite it being a while until I have to reallt worry about this, I'm a bit overly organised :tongue:

Any advice, comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated :wink:

Reply 1

SlowlorisIncognito

16

The opening sentence is not really the most important part of your PS. I would say it is possibly a little bit chatty/informal, and perhaps a little bit wordy- remember you'll have a tight character limit on your PS.

It's probably better on focusing on getting all the content you need in the body of your PS before crafting the perfect first line. It's also important to show admissions tutors that you understand what the course is going to be about, not just that you enjoy going on holiday!

Also, do remember that anything which you post on a public forum could be used by other people in their statements, or picked up by UCAS plagiarism detection- therefore it's not a good idea to post word for word what you intend to write!

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

amylou12345

OP

6

Thanks for the advice and tip about the "not putting it word for word". I have a fairly good idea what I will write for the main body, I just want a good opening line so that I have somewhere to start from xx

Reply 3

Carnationlilyrose

18

Original post by amylou12345

Thanks for the advice and tip about the "not putting it word for word". I have a fairly good idea what I will write for the main body, I just want a good opening line so that I have somewhere to start from xx

You don't have to sent it away for ages yet (indeed you can't, for nearly a month) so get the rest of it done and wait for inspiration to hit you. Put in 'I want want to study event management because....' as a place marker and replace it later. It's always easier to introduce something that already exists than something yet to come.

Reply 4

amylou12345

OP

6

Original post by Carnationlilyrose

You don't have to sent it away for ages yet (indeed you can't, for nearly a month) so get the rest of it done and wait for inspiration to hit you. Put in 'I want want to study event management because....' as a place marker and replace it later. It's always easier to introduce something that already exists than something yet to come.

Yeah, I know I'm planning ages in advance, just wanted to get a rough draft ready so I have somewhere to go from when I head back to college next week! Thanks for the 'place marker' tip. I'll do that for now and hope inspiration hits me xx

Personal Statement - International Tourism Management

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