GF mad at me for not getting her anything for her birthday?

Her birthday was 2 days ago, and along with a few of her closest mates we organised a surprise party for her. She's really shy and has told me in the past that she doesn't like surprises, but regardless we went ahead with it.

I bought her a bottle of her favourite drink, and we decorated this whole room for her in her favourite colour light blue ...

We surprised her at 10 pm, she was all smiles and obviously quite embarrassed about being the centre of attention.

I then spent the whole 2 days after it with her.

She's mad at me because she didn't get a card like "I did for your birthday" and I didn't make the mix tape either.

I told her I was sorry that I didn't get her anything, but that I didn't forget about her birthday ... she then tells me I wasn't bothered about it and showed that I didn't care.

I told her that I really enjoyed the football she got me and the cards, but what I really cared about was her.

So now I don't know what to do?

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Reply 1

katiiiiie

To be honest I don't see why she is angry at you, I think it is the thought that counts and obviously you thought about her by arranging a party and spending a lot of time with her. She is overreacting.

Reply 2

Inazuma

Was going to yell at you just by the title, but seeing as you organised a party which is far more effort than buying a football I disagree with her.
Also cards are only useful as kindling nowadays..

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by katiiiiie

Well she doesn't want to talk anymore now ... so this is going to have to wait till she messages me.

Reply 4

Lil08

I think it's very superficial & ungrateful of her. You're the one that should be mad, for not appreciating what you did for her.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Inazuma

I know a lot of people will probably start fuming with the title ... but it was to catch people's eyes.

She has explicitly told me before that she hates being offered gifts on her birthday, so I didn't think too much about presents, I thought more about making it a really nice day for her. Now she doesn't even want to speak to me ... so I'm going to have to stress myself out until tomorrow.

Reply 6

katiiiiie

Original post by Anonymous

Well she doesn't want to talk anymore now ... so this is going to have to wait till she messages me.

She is seriously overreacting then. If my bf organised a surprise party for me and went to all that effort, even though I am really shy, I would be super grateful and that would count as his present to me.

Reply 7

Dr Alcoholic

Original post by Anonymous

Well she doesn't want to talk anymore now ... so this is going to have to wait till she messages me.

Don't play her little game. Ignore her until she stops.

Reply 8

FutureHeartSurg

Original post by Inazuma

*and building forts.

Reply 9

mollyxrose

After reading your post it's quite clear she's getting mad for no reason. You went to a lot of effort for her birthday, so it shouldn't matter if you bought her a present or not.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by Lil08

I think it's very superficial & ungrateful of her. You're the one that should be mad, for not appreciating what you did for her.

Thing is is that she did appreciate it ... she's told me how surprised she was and how much she really liked it or whatever. But then this. She said I was guilt tripping her by telling her that I was grateful about the football she gave to me and the 2 cards ... but what I really appreciated is her as a person.

I really don't get her some times .... I'm always super worried about what I'm doing wrong ... I don't even notice the things I'm doing right any more.

Reply 11

MidnightDream

She's being a tad ungrateful, if that was me I would have assumed that the birthday was my present and to be honest organising a party is effort - getting a card is nice but it's hardly necessary

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by FutureHeartSurg

*and building forts.

Yeaaaaaah!!! :biggrin:

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

Original post by MidnightDream

She's being a tad ungrateful, if that was me I would have assumed that the birthday was my present and to be honest organising a party is effort - getting a card is nice but it's hardly necessary

I suppose so ... but she doesn't realise ... and I'm definitely not going to tell her that otherwise she'll tear me apart.

Reply 14

Inazuma

Original post by Anonymous

Lol, I do that too. Well played.

I would try to explain her behaviour but I can't. Maybe she says she doesn't like them because she actually does?
Sounds like she's being rather stupid, all I would do is wait and say well I went to all the effort of organising and planning a party, if that isn't effort and caring then who knows what is. Very rude.. And strange really..

Reply 15

chocolatesauce

How ungrateful, clearly organising a surprise party wasn't enough :rolleyes:

Reply 16

Wattsy

I read the title and my opening reaction was 'you ****ing idiot.' Then I read your post, you went ABCD and she's whining about a card. That's on her, not you.

Reply 17

Zen-Ali

women man, wat do?

good luck with your endeavours OP

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

Original post by Inazuma

She's done this game playing quite a bit too ... some times she'll tell me I can do something, but I know all to well she doesn't want me to do it (or vice versa) ...

On top of all this I've been quite stressed out with my University entry as I was in Clearing. I've been struggling to put every thing together in the last month or so :/

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

Original post by Wattsy

I read the title and my opening reaction was 'you ****ing idiot.' Then I read your post, you went ABCD and she's whining about a card. That's on her, not you.

LOL I would've been an idiot if I didn't get her zit all ... but yeah.

I really don't know if it's related to all the **** her ex dragged her through? that she's scrutinising everything I'm doing and at every slip up she's reminded of him.