How Do You Flirt With An Introvert?

I'm an extrovert, and I know a really introverted guy in the year above me at uni - he's quite serious about his studies, but so smart I can't help but fancy him :colondollar:

I'm used to the "typical" way of flirting with a guy, but have no idea how to get through to the introvert. I've never heard him say the slightest thing sexually about a girl, and he's a very "straight up" guy so being wishy washy might turn him off. I doubt he's gay though.

Help! :biggrin:

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Reply 1

username1461146

Posted from TSR Mobile

You sound ENFP and he sounds INTJ from a cursory look at this. Be direct and tell him, if he likes you back it will go across well :smile:

Reply 2

Black Cat

Original post by Anonymous

I'm an extrovert, and I know a really introverted guy in the year above me at uni - he's quite serious about his studies, but so smart I can't help but fancy him :colondollar:

I'm an introvert myself and dislike girls that come off too strong so would advise you to take a subtle approach.

sit on his face.

Original post by Unknown Nerd

Posted from TSR Mobile

You sound ENFP and he sounds INTJ from a cursory look at this. Be direct and tell him, if he likes you back it will go across well :smile:

what do those two even stand for?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Unknown Nerd

Posted from TSR Mobile

You sound ENFP and he sounds INTJ from a cursory look at this. Be direct and tell him, if he likes you back it will go across well :smile:

Haha, a fellow Myers Briggs fan! :five:

I'm actually an ENTJ, but I have an unusually strong F too (I'm very extroverted and socialise something crazy) which seems to annoy him at times lol. Thanks :biggrin:

Just straight up ask him out? What if he doesn't like me though, wouldn't it make our friendship awkward? (We can be such intellectual buddies, I treasure it a lot :tongue:

)

Black Cat

I'm an introvert myself and dislike girls that come off too strong so would advise you to take a subtle approach.

Thanks!

How subtle are we talking? Just stuff like playing with my hair/acting a bit coy when looking at him?

Reply 6

godd

Talk about something that interests him and let him take the leading role. Then you can put your flirty remarks in and see how he responds.

Reply 7

Clip

"Do you not come here often?"

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Tai Ga

sit on his face.

That can come later :colone:

Qari

They're Myers Briggs terms :smile:

Unknown Nerd

Forgot to say above, sorry - he's definitely an INTJ! Typed him the first day I met him. Pretty much a textbook one haha.

Reply 9

spanker

I'm an introvert and prefer girls to be direct, everyone is different so just try it what ever way you feel is best.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

godd

Talk about something that interests him and let him take the leading role. Then you can put your flirty remarks in and see how he responds.

We do that quite a bit - he's doing a research project which he's really keen on, so I like hearing him explain it :smile:

How would I put flirty remarks into that kind of convo, though? Kids dying of inadequate healthcare isn't a very sexy topic :lol:

Clip

"Do you not come here often?"

lmfao lmfao lmfao

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by spanker

I'm an introvert and prefer girls to be direct, everyone is different so just try it what ever way you feel is best.

I haven't tried flirting with him properly (he's so blunt/direct I have no idea how he'd respond TBH), but my voice is unusually sing-song (if you know what I mean?) when I talk to him sometimes though he doesn't seem to pick up on that. I'm not sure if I need to take a stronger approach.

When you say direct, what kind of direct do you mean? Just tell him straight up that I like him?

Reply 12

username1461146

Posted from TSR Mobile

Haha...ENTJs are awesome. However if he's an introvert, he's likely to find you overbearing if you just "be yourself" around him 100% of the time. Who knows, maybe he likes that lol. I'm INTJ and I like ENTJs but they can be too demanding at times, almost like a manager employee relationship.

Yeah, most introverts love it when the opposite sex asks them out or at least indicates interest overtly.

Reply 13

spanker

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah tell him straight up.

Reply 14

Old_Simon

You should not underestimate the effect bodily contact has on men. Subtle touches here n there.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by Unknown Nerd

Thanks man :cool:

Yeah, sometimes I just want to talk for ages or really go into detail about something (I'm about 90% E which doesn't help matters) and he seems to "close off" or want some alone time a bit. But he will happily explain/show off to me for hours if it's something he's passionate about.

Funny you should say that lol, our stereotypical "roles" are reversed - my uni course society has a "buddy system" where someone in the year above helps someone in the year below, so he's kind of "teaching" me. I am probably quite an annoying/stubborn student at times though, without meaning to be :tongue:

I'm not sure if I want to ask him out straight up or tell him that I like him (he is really, really T, and sometimes "gets spooked" easily by people being too sociable :lol:

) What other "overt signs of interest" could I show, though? Tell him he looks cute or something?

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by spanker

Yeah tell him straight up.

Hmmm OK

What if he gets offended, though? I'm in no way physically unattractive so I doubt he wouldn't be flattered or anything, but he's really serious and seems a tad antisocial at times lol.

Old_Simon

You should not underestimate the effect bodily contact has on men. Subtle touches here n there.

I've done that when I really liked a guy at home years ago, yeah :lol:

Might try it thanks, mightn't it "freak him out" if he's the serious introverted type, though? I actually semi-sprained my ankle at gymnastics once, and then after we worked in the library he helped support me as I walked home but he was unusually timid about it - not like himself at all (he is usually very brash and blunt). He asked permission to put an arm around me so he could support me (even though I'd already said he could), and was clearly nervous and ridiculously gentle :lol:

Reply 17

username1461146

Posted from TSR Mobile

Yeah, definitely build up to it. Touch him on the arm or compliment his appearance and then maybe the next day ask him out. I got asked out cold from a friend once and it totally caught me off guard and I kind of rejected her just out of instinct. INTJs need time to think about their answer. If he seems distant when you ask it's because he has to process everything for a while but most likely he will come back with a yes :smile:

Reply 18

SMEGGGY

I'm having a similar issue too :frown:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 19

Black Cat

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks!

How subtle are we talking? Just stuff like playing with my hair/acting a bit coy when looking at him?

Just act like you would do normally with him, but don't ask him out straight away unless you know for certain that there is a connection between you. As for flirting you could perhaps give him compliments it would definitely level up the playing field. I can't think of any guy that doesn't like to be complimented whether that be on looks, achievement or other things. Everyone is different and we respond differently too you just have to find the right ways to drop signals that he can pick up.

Goodluck.